To buy more birthday presents for dd?

[Dancergirl]

Dh and I are differing in our views about this.

Dd2 is nearly 11, dh thinks she should only have one present from us, with maybe a couple of small things from her sisters.

We have already bought her a main present which is a bracelet which was quite expensive (over £100). But I would still like buy her something else from her list such as some lego. My reasoning:

-We have a very small extended family so she doesn't get loads from family members.

-My mum has problems and hasn't seen us for some time. She didn't buy Xmas presents for our dds and I doubt she will buy anything for dd's birthday.

-I enjoy buying toys while they're still young enough to enjoy them!

-We could afford to buy her something else.

Dh thinks we will spoil her, but I think it's not spoiling if you WANT to buy them things without them nagging for them. She's not a spoilt child at all, she's very sweet and appreciative.

Reading this back makes me sound grabby, it wasn't meant to sound like that at all. I'm not blaming my mum, she's getting on and has her own problems. Maybe I should buy her something else and say it's from her?

Thanks all for your input. I'm still undecided!

She's actually a really good kid who doesn't want stuff all the time. I could take her shopping and she's quite happy to go home without anything and doesn't want to buy for the sake of it.

On the other hand, it IS a lot of money. My other idea would be to get the lego but as a joint present between her and dd3 whose 7th birthday is 3 weeks later. Dd3 would also like the lego, maybe they could do it together. Or is lego-building a purely solitary activity??

Dd3 would also get other presses on her birthday btw!

I don't think £100 is that excessive on a kid's birthday...And I say that as a penniless student single mum! If I have the money I spend about that as a main present and then buy a few little things as well. So IMO yanbu.

Thanks beavie I did wonder though. It seems to be ok to buy dc this age laptops and the like, they must be £300+. Is it you can justify spending that sort of money if it's educational or for school?

I would buy the extra gifts. My dd has just turned 12 and she still loves lego. Which set were you thinking of getting?

I think it's whatever you have grown up with yourself that seems normal. I'm guessing in your dh's family birthdays weren't an extravagant event, but maybe they were more so in yours. Personally, having grown up in a fairly wealthy family and receiving quite a lot of gifts for birthdays and christmas, I would feel like a bit of a failure if I didn't get my dc much, even though I am a skint single mum in a council house! Luckily for my dc they both have birthdays in July and I have seasonal work in June that's always a good earner so I can afford their birthday gifts and parties.

Buy the Lego!

Honestly, if you can afford it no problem, go for it.
If it's something she would really like I would. I also don't spoil my kids and Christmas and birthday stuff from us is usually quite modest (big gift 30 quid ish) But if they requested a specific item I would definitely get it. Don't feel guilty about wanting your daughter to feel spoiled even if she isn't.

jingle It's actually Harry Potter lego which you can only buy on Ebay now and is quite expensive. BUT I'll resell it later on and hopefully get some money back.

I've kept the box and instruction booklets for the other HP set she has.

Also having a parent whose situation changed too. I wouldn't think twice about either giving from gran or 'if gran was well and knowing how much she loves you she would have bought this off your list'. Sod she's only 11 let her feel the love for her gran (especially if she has been involved with your kids in the past).

i would :)

i dont think £100 i sspoiling or to much ethier.. its a good mark to though.

also it isnt her fault her birthday is so close to christmas so the amount you spend shouldnt be even considered just for christmas.

i would get her the lego set to.

Oh Harry Potter lego is great :)