To want a shotgun wedding!

[yummystepford]

I've been with my oh nearly 2 years, but have known each other 9 years and kept in touch online a little. we are due in June, it's his first and my third. I was engaged to my ex, planned the wedding and managed to get out in time, he was a horrible man, as a result and other reasons I do not want a wedding, I want to elope and my oh knows this, so being pregnant isn't going to 'spoil the day'

I have moved me and my 2 ds an hour and a half from where we lived to move in with him and given up a certain amount on security and independence, but am happy to have done so because I am happy we are all together. But have to try and make all new fiends and find my way around and everything else involved moving to a new area.

He has also told me I am the love of his life. I did send him a text just saying, id like to get married before the baby is born. but nothing has been discussed in regards to the message.

I want to marry him because I love him and want to spend my life with him, if we are going to do it I would like it to be done before the baby is born because of things like baby's name, having his surname on the baby wrist band at the hospital and because I'd like my husband to be there, not my boyfriend! I also think I deserve a bit of security and by that I mean him wanting to marry me more than the actual legal side of the security.

I feel like I should wait for him to ask, but I know even if he thinks about doing it, it's the sort of thing that he would procrastinate on.

Poor you, this sounds difficult

Many of us don't get the fairy tale proposal we dreamed of as children. That's often OK and life has a way of turning out for the best. However, I do think big discussions like whether or not to get married should be a joint decision and should be discussed face to face.

I sympathise that you find it difficult to speak to people in school playground, but your life partner - surely you should be able to speak to him?

Don't worry if you don't get the magical proposal / diamonds - talk is cheap, but people can be deeply committed without going down the high romance road.

We have a close affectionate relationship, I really can't explain why I find it so difficult. I've known the man 9 years and been with him nearly 2.

Oh dear this does sound hard for you. Please just go over to him now, perhaps take him a beer, and ask him what he though of your text the other day. Then see what happens. If he's 34 then it can't be that much of a surprise that you are thinking in the direction of marriage.