To find it irritating (rant alert!)

[Tailtwister]

AIBU to find it extremely irritating that now that it suits them my DB and SIL are all over my mother like a rash, using her for childcare for weeks at a time?

My brother has been indifferent and neglectful towards our mother all his selfish and self centred life. He even said once (and I quote) 'it wouldn't bother me if I never saw her again'.

My mother dropped everything for over a year to look after my niece when she was a baby, went through complete hell with hostility directed towards her from my SIL and consequently was banned from seeing her GD for over 4 years. Suddenly there was a reconciliation (which weirdly coincided with them fleecing her for school fees) and she's now down there every five minutes to provide childcare.

It just pisses me off, I hate seeing her used like that. I know they'll drop her again like a hot brick as soon as she's lived out her usefulness and no doubt won't be of any help when she needs anything as she gets older.

I want to shake my DB by the neck it makes me so angry. I can't comment on my SIL as she has had a difficult time and I admit my mother is hard work. Still, it makes me want to scream!

YANBU

Don't know what you can do about it though.

It's your Mum's problem. I think she needs better boundaries. She sounds forgiving! If your Mum and your B and SIL all difficult...well, good luck to them!

I can imagine that it must be incredibly frustrating to see this happening.

It is up to your Mum, however, to do what she wants.

Why was contact stopped for 4 years?

There was a big fall out between my DM and SIL YouStay. I don't know the exact details, but I imagine there was fault on both sides. My DM can be very hard work (she talks a LOT) and my SIL has boundary issues which I suspect (although don't know for sure) my DM broke in some way.

I know it's up to my Mum and that's why I haven't and would never say anything. I think my Mum knows deep down she's being used but is just pleased to be able to see her GD and I understand that. It's just being done so blatantly I'm amazed they have the brass neck to do it tbh. They must know it's glaringly obvious to everyone what they're up to.

The thing with some people is as long as they get what they want they don't give a fuck what others think.

Brass neck, entitlement and not an ounce of shame makes some people complete wankers.

Just keep supporting your Mum if the hostility returns when they tire of her.