About DS' football coach?

[RosebudTheCat]

DS has recently turned three, and also recently started football classes for three-four year olds. He gets on well most of the time, but does have lapses of concentration where he doesn't listen to the coach. The classes are for an hour and seem quite intensive. If DS has a lapse then DH or I (whoever is there) will try to encourage him back into paying attention or take him out for a break. All the kids do this to an extent, but DS probably the most. At no point is he actively naughty, e.g. being rough, pushing or anything.

Yesterday he was having one of these lapses, DH was there but I wasn't, and the coach tried to catch DS' attention by tickling him, and then lifted him upside down by the feet. I appreciate that this kind of rough play is ok at home with DH, provided DS is into it too. However DH said it wasn't like DS was laughing along too. It all happened rather quickly and then they kind of got on with the class.

Are we being precious? Tell me honestly please. DH wishes he had said something at the time. So we have agreed that if any sign or anything similar, to say something immediately. I can't imagine an adult doing this in another circumstance, e.g. School/nursery.

AIBU to think the coach shouldn't have done that?

How dare a football coach try and play with your child?

He was probably trying to engage him back into playing and having fun.

Yes, it is wrong to dangle an unwilling child by the feet.

It doesn't sound as if your DC is yet ready for a group class. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to stop and try again in a few months when he might cope batter. Because these infant classes are usually very tolerant and inclusive, and if he's having difficulties (and you acknowledge the class is too intensive for him) it's much better to draw a line and try again when he's older.

he's too young to be playing a team game if he can't listen and concentrate.

Its meant to be fun. Coaches arent teachers.

Your poor son having some rough and tumble during his physical activity.

That's standard coach behavior. Most kids would be re-engaged by some kind of fun horseplay with the coach. I think you're being precious. Sorry.

I don't see anything wrong with what the coach did. Was your son upset and screaming afterwards? It does sound like he is not ready for such a long session though

Sorry. I should have said, a bit of horseplay is a good way of re-engaging distracted kids.

I don't quite see what the issue is.

It's about boundaries. Just because its a child it doesnt mean someone can come into your personal space.

The OP has said her child wasnt laughing along with the horseplay

Your son isn't ready. He doesn't have to go so young, just have a kick about in the garden or park. Try later when he's 5.

Well hes clearly not interested in football at the moment
For su a llong time. Maybe llook at thathat rather than the coach tickling him and lifting him up to deal with his disengagement.

I think you're being precious about the coach's interaction with your son.

I think your son isn't quite ready for the sessions ;sounds like DS, who also started football club but we realised quite quickly he wasn't ready and left it a year or two).

I see no problem.

He's far too young for this sort of class. Just take him to the park.

No that's fine, of course we have been considering if he is too young. It was only the third class so we were trying to see if he would settle in a bit. It just made me feel uncomfortable. If it really is a problem then I wish he had said something. All the kids do it a bit and he picks them all up, DS included. It was more the dangling by feet bit.

What uselessinformation said.

DS is nearly 13 and plays in a very competitive FA reg. team as well as for his school, training/playing up to 4 or even 5 times a week.

At 3 he was kicking a ball around with DH.
At 7+ he joined an FA reg. Sunday matches team. He found following instructions challenging at that age, never mind 3!

It is very young to be doing that kind of activity.

The coach was trying to jolly him along. But maybe in a way you don't like. Some parents will be fine with it.

I would take him out if I were you, and try again in a year or two.

I will never understand the concept of football training for 3 year olds.
My DCs play football, I'm not against football but an hour long session for a 3 year old? How many 3 year olds are going to actually engage with that? Surely they are all just going to want to run about kicking the ball?

Anyway it sounds as if the coach was just trying to re engage your DS, and have a bit if a laugh rather than shouting and hollering. I know which I would prefer.

If your DS was upset and scared by it, then ask the coach not to do it again?

Yes I think those of you saying he is too young are right. We didn't realise as it is marketed for his age group, I guess I thought there would be more play. He does concentrate well for most of it but as you say, an hour is a long time at his age.

I don't understand football at that age to me it's only a money making scheme, at 3 my DS always had a football at his feet but played in the garden! When he started school at 4 1/2 that's when he joined a club! He's 18 now and played at all levels including pro youth!

If I was you I'd take him out till he's a little bit older, as for rough and tumble with the coach that's normal to me, wait till he's older and the shouting and screaming starts!!

at that age he'll get far more out of dad taking him to the park for half an hour with a soft ball, these classes are designed to get money out of people who cant be arsed doing it themselves...and there plenty more classes like it...and plenty who'll pay for it all whilst they watch from the sidelines

I am sure no harm was meant but I'm not sure it was the right thing to do. Some dads might respond with violence to the coach I am sad to say.

Have to agree about the better option being a kickabout with dad in the park.