AIBU to feel overwhelmed because I am trying to do it all?

[open247]

I just started a new pt job. It is client facing and lots of new material to learn for me. It keeps me busy all hours at the moment and for the next couple of months at least.

I also have a business I want to start but I don't have the time unless I start working very late every night (I am too tired). This stresses me out because I want to bring my product to market before others do..

And I am the chair of a small charity.

My kids are small 5, 3 and 1 and I am not giving them the attention they need all the time. My 3 and 1 year old have started waking me at 6am every morning and for the first hour I am really grumpy one or two of my kids are also very challenging at the moment..

I also have two clients that I am working for (smallish jobs).

I am shattered but know I need to pull myself together...I have help around the house but my DH works long hours and is very stressed himself.

I can't really ditch any of my commitments because I would be letting people down.

AIBU to not be able to pull myself together the way I should?

You've taken on too much, which wouldn't be such a big deal if your children weren't suffering as a result.
Sounds like it's not the right time for you to start your business to be honest. If you decide you HAVE to start the business then unfortunately you will just have to accept that this is how your life is going to be and try harder to send quality time with your children.
They are pretty young and unless you have to do all these other things either for financial or personal reasons they should come first, they will all be grown up and at school before you know it, this time is really precious and you aren't enjoying it.

I would write it all down - and what your goals are for 2014. Then prioritise. I personally would give up the charity role. I acknowledge at the moment that my FT job and my 3 young DCs have to be the key focus and therefore I don't have time for charity work. However, I will come back to it in a few years time.

Good luck :)

OP: By doing too much you are jeopardising your physical & mental health.

Consider:
Giving up the Charity role now.
Concentrate on your pt job for the next two months.
Then concentrate on the business.
In the meantime you have to concentrate on the Dcs too.

Or do you need to do the pt job?
Could you give it up?

Best wishes to you.

No brained really, you have taken on too much, your kids should be your priority - therfore if you cannot afford domestic support-shed something.

Can your DH shed something too? It shouldn't be just about you doing the juggling!

An

And fathers are just as capable as mothers of playing a role in the home!

All I can say is you are wonder woman!

You can't do it all, and it is better to a smaller of thing well than lots of things badly. You need to prioritise.

Is a couple of months really going to make that much difference to the business? Can't it wait until you've found your feet at work a little more? Just one month would probably help.

Is PT work a choice or a financial necessity? You could look to dropping it in lieu of really trying to establish your business if money isn't an issue.

You could ask for some support from the charity and explain that while you don't want to give up the role, you need to take a back step for a month or two.

You could arrange for a cleaner to help out.

Good luck with finding a balance.

Thanks for the replies! I know I need to try harder with the kids.. Don't want to give up pt job because it's a foot in my industry and also need the money.

The charity is my children's nursery can't see how I can get out if it...... Otherwise I would ditch it.

I do feel a bit depressed about it all so know I am using up my resources... Didn't want to post in MH though since it is all a minor crisis nothing really bad.

I need more sleep though.

Coming back later in the day, the kids want to play...

Thanks!

Sounds tough. Can you prioritise early to bed for a couple of weeks and then assess what/if needs culled? I've recently started this and am startled at the difference it makes to my mood and ability to cope.

Concentrate on your job....it is giving you the necessary experience in your industry. You can set up the business later when you have built up a set of contacts and the kids are a bit older and less demanding

Resign from the voluntary chair post. State that due to starting a new job you just don't have the extra time to fully devote yourself to this post. I'm sure they will understand. Don't let guilt cloud your judgement on this. Stay firm but polite if they try to dissuade you

No point in trying to do everything in a haphazard fashion where you don't really achieve anything. Concentrate on the key elements that are going to help you achieve your long-term goals

Work out what is important and drop what isn't. How long have you been chair of the charity? If it's more than 4 years then I wouldn't worry at all about walking away from it. If you give three months notice then they have time to find someone else. And even if you haven't been chair that long DO NOT FEEL GUILTY and do not fall into the trap of staying in the role because "there's no-one else". There never is anyone else until you step down.

I work ft and have recently decided to give up the two voluntary roles I have as I am not giving them the attention they deserve. One in particular demands 4 or 5 hours of admin work per week and I don't have the time. Dh, who also chaired a small charity plus had two other voluntary roles, decided the same last year. We got to a point where we were seriously considering getting a cleaner because we couldn't keep on top of housework, and decided that maybe we needed to look at how to make space in our lives in other ways!

Dh is now much more relaxed and has time in the evenings. I've told both the organisations that I volunteer for that I'll be stopping in 3 months time. I don't feel bad, they have had many years out of me, and when dc have left home in a few years I am sure I'll be back doing voluntary work again. In the meantime, dh and I might manage the occasional evening out together if we're not too busy cleaning the bathroom

Although I've never started my own business, several friends have, and it's really hard work, where you have to put in horrendous hours to get it off the ground. Now might not be the right moment for you to do this.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.