To object to a 'no children under 16 on the premises' rule at a clinic?

[FannyBazaar]

I had to make a booking for an ultrasound scan and was really shocked to be told that children are not allowed on the premises.

I generally take my DC with me wherever I go if I can't arrange things around school time and have done since I became a mother. Last time I had a scan this was never mentioned and was at a place I have regularly taken DC with me although last scan was during school and work hours so it didn't matter to me.

I am appalled at the blanket ban policy because I think it makes life extremely difficult for single parents or anyone who doesn't have anyone else readily available to take the DC.

I also don't get it because every day hundreds of women have ultrasound scans in other places and with their DC present in the room or even leaving them in the waiting room.

I dare say they've had their fair share of unruly children but then again, that happens everywhere.

Not sure about the people saying children shouldn't be present if it's any sort of intimate examination... after all they saw that jazz from very close quarters a while ago! I would want my kids to know that if they have any medical problems in their downstairs that it's not shameful or rude to have a medical person take a look.
Also, the people who think other people are going to be upset if they've had baby-related news and then have to walk out and see children, sorry but they make up quite a sizeable proportion of the population. You could pop to tesco's for some milk on the way home and run into umpteen babies, toddlers or any kids of any age. If the clinic has a specific reason for not wanting children to be present, maybe they should make their reasons known to their patients and ask anyone with childcare issues to contact them if they can't get someone to watch the kids during their appointment, so that they can either try and get them another appointment time or come to another arrangement. Banning things just gets people's backs up.

I understand that you have to hold it together as a parent after yiu get bad news, but that first blow, especially if you think your just going in for a little look must be awful.

I have taken my ds to an appointment for a trans vaginal scan, I put tampons in when he's in the bathroom so I don't see any difference. The scan was to check an existing condition so I already knew the bad news, but I'd choose to find other arrangements if it was a pregnancy scan.

What do those of you who think dc should be allowed to attend scans suggests happens when the mother is giving birth?

The idea that children cannot be present during an intimate examination is an interesting one. I can understand the thinking, but it is actually indirect sexism (legal definition, as women are statistically more likely to be the primary care giver). My male gynae consultant told me this as he was fitting the pessary for my prolapse, as my 8m DD sat in her buggy in the corner of the room, at the head end. There had to be a nurse present anyway as a chaperone for anything internal.

DD was there 4m later when it was removed, and she has been present for a smear test and several internal examinations. I strap her into a pushchair and give her a non-messy snack and a new toy.

I don't always have the option of child care as I can't pay for it and am reluctant to ask friends as I cannot reciprocate (complicated situation). DH cannot always guarantee to be there either. Without taking DD in with me I would be waddling around with my insides wedged into the gusset of my support pants, itching like crazy!

Apart from the children disrupting the sonographer from doing their job, I can't think of any reasons for children not being present. As long as the child is able to sit and not distract proceedings and not allowed to run riot I don't think it is a problem. If your child can not behave, maybe don't take them, but if your child can sit quietly and keep out of mischief for the duration of your appointment I can't see the problem.

When dd was 15 months old, I had to go for an early pg scan. I had the choice, I could leave her with my best friend or take best friend with me for support. I took friend and her ds who was the same age as dd and had to have an internal scan in front of both children. I had miscarried. The children are not scarred for life for witnessing the event and behaved impeccably while there. After all that was done with I had to go back for another internal scan as I have an odd shaped womb. Dd joined me for those apps too. I have taken children for smear tests etc and just left them on the other side of the curtain if they are old enough to understand. I take children to all kinds of places. I'm a childminder and have on occasion told parents I either need time of or I will need to take their child to places that may not be child friendly. Parents always have agreed to children joining me. They have been to bank apps, dentists for fillings, hospital apps for my children etc. i have never had a misbehaver, generally because I take enough for the children to be entertained (food/books/colouring) for the duration of the app. Children can and do behave in these situations so I would be highly annoyed to be told I couldn't take a child to an appointment in a hospital.

ikeaismylocal. What do those of you who think dc should be allowed to attend scans suggests happens when the mother is giving birth?
I had home births so I was at home with my other children. They slept right though the whole event too.

I understand that you have to hold it together as a parent after yiu get bad news, but that first blow, especially if you think your just going in for a little look must be awful.

Its absolutely dreadful. But weirdly the kids make you put it on the back burner until you have a chance to break down in private.

I cancelled the appointment because I felt so strongly about this policy. Not because I need to take DC with me this time or can not arrange an alternative time but because there have been so many times when this would have been a huge problem. I have no close family in this country to look after DC, no partner and no friends who could just drop everything to step in.

It is very difficult to arrange paid child care for a one off situation during the day, I have tried this for job interviews before, casual evening babysitters are much easier to come by.

The NHS GP requested the scan it was something I hadn't been keen on before but then finally decided to go to GP and get referred. Right now I feel supporting a company with policies that make healthcare so difficult for parents is morally wrong, I'd rather not have a scan. I feel it is wrong for the NHS to be referring to such companies when the NHS services don't have the same policies. I think I will put in a letter to the local NHS trust.

People very often are getting BAD news
while children are present

I really think that sometimes people are more ready than they would let you know
I had to spend so much time away from my DC
I wasted so much time for failed doctors
appointments

Where the simplest solution was just being honest and straight forward instead of wasting time or making things more colorfull

Even with home birth you must have had some sort of back up plan incase you had to be taken into hospital or if one of your child woke up with d+v.

Fanny, yes, it's important isn't it, I agree worth complaining about, on behalf of other people as well as yourself. Complaints are often a very effective way of changing things in the NHS in my experience.
Can the company do things 'more efficiently' (faster/cheaper) by making life easy for themselves but potentially very difficult for patients?
Is there likely to be somewhere else that your GP can refer you?

I think what a lot of people are getting at with their mention of getting bad news and children being there is that others might be getting bad news. I can't imagine how I would feel if I'd just been told I'd miscarried then had to walk out into a waiting room full of children.

Yes, you'll have to see children eventually on the street, in the supermarket, and so one, but immediately after receiving the bad news? That just isn't fair on some people.

It is difficult if you don't have childcare but it's the same for lots of things: you can't take your children to work with you, you can't take them in to your psychiatrists, umpteen other places.

As a PP said, it's not about your children hearing bad news but how other people might feel receiving bad news with your children around. It's not the same as a GP surgery; a scan might mean fertility problems or a miscarriage or bad news about a baby.

If it was a CT scan then a child would absolutely not be allowed to accompany their parent to an appointment. When I worked in CT the appontment letter specifically said this.
With ultrasound it is a medical screening test. The sonographer needs to concentrate and the patient needs to relax.
I think babies/toddlers who can be securely and happily strapped into buggies are slightly less of a problem. Personally I would always attempt to find someone have my child for half an hour.
Maybe the clinic thought it was easier to have a blanket policy? They may also make an exception to the policy if you explained your situation.

I'm afraid I really don't get the thing about hearing bad news and finding it harder to cope with children in a waiting room. I'd imagine having to see people after receiving bad news would be tough regardless of whether they were men, women or children. I should imagine finding out you have miscarried and having to walk out to a waiting room of pregnant women smiling and rubbing their tummies would be the worst but you can hardly have a secret tunnel escape route built.

A visit to the GP might well be about finding out you have terminal cancer or not, that's pretty bad news but children are service users of the GP practice so are likely to be there.

Fantissue I have taken DC both to work & psychiatrist. Not to work on a regular basis but psychiatrist, yes, when they didn't want DC present they arranged a creche worker.

ikeaismylocal I've never had a back up plan in case of DC waking up with D & V. That's simply filed under 'things unlikely to happen that I will deal with if and when they occur'.

I fear for the children who live in their own separate chicken nugget filled world, protected from reality. Of course, I'm also jealous of those who have family around to drop the DC off with whenever you want to do something without them.

Sorry but you don't tend to get back news from the GP, 9 times out of 10, it will be from a specialist.

It's not all about you. Receiving bad news may be the reason for not allowing children, there may be other reasons. Your children may be perfectly well behaved but there may have been children who were distracting and not well behaved, so a blanket rule has been made.

YANBU.

Last year I had to take DD (then 18 months) to my dating scan as DH couldn't get time off work & it was scheduled for a day I have off work to look after DD so that's why she wasn't in nursery.

At that scan I discovered I had a MMC, if it hadn't been for having DD with me I think I would've crumbled. Having her there made me strong. She was 18 months so she'll never remember that scan but I always will & the feeling that although I had the worst news ever, I had my little girl to cling onto.

The seeing other children after receiving bad news argument makes no sense. If you've had bad news of any description you are going to see people in the waiting room who have not had that bad news. If you've just been told you've got to lose a leg you will come out and see people with two legs. The NHS is run for everyone and it (or its contracted out services) cannot be run on this basis. This is a long way from not making women who have recently had a stillbirth recover in a room full of newborns. This is about walking through a waiting room on your way out.

Sonographers needing to concentrate does make sense, of course, but the blanket ban is ridiculous.

i ended up taking my son with me once as they booked the time wrong (he was in nursery they thought i said mornings i said afternoon total mistake) i asked when i bought him in the sonographer asked a nurse to be available if there was a problem then as soon as he had a quick peek to make sure everything was okay he told my husband to turn the screen so my son could watch his baby brother it was quite a nice experience but i can totally understand why they say no

Can't believe people think the uk is not child friendly!! Can't go anywhere without children being welcomed. I can think of very few places where children are not welcomed without a good reason, eg casino, 18 film.

What more do you want?

I very much doubt the decision to ban children under 16 was made just to be difficult. Usually when a rule like this is made, it's because of an incident or multiple complaints.

I'd pay for private care in an 'adult only' clinic if I could - I just prefer a child free environment when I'm anxious/stressed. This clinic obviously provides a service for clients like me, but has taken on NHS work as well.

The OP is right; she should have been made aware of the restrictions when the NHS referred her - and if her treatment/scan wasn't urgent, someone with a greater need could have been referred instead.

If I understand you this is a private company that has a blanket rule banning children, & this company is contracted by your local NHS. Actually in that case, I do think you should pursue this. We are going to see more & more of this piecemeal approach to services. It would be interesting to hear the NHS response.

I've recently been referred by my GP to a private company (Care UK) - children are allowed in the waiting room but not in the operating rooms. I wonder if they distinguish between scans, chats, smears (where you could IMO have a child present) and surgical procedures.

The only other experience of this I've had was meeting a friend from an abortion clinic with my DD, & children weren't allowed on the premises there. That seemed fair enough to me!

I'm curious that nobody has mentioned the potential hazards caused by unruly children. It's possible the clinic has had a bad experience where equipment has been broken or misused by children that we're being controlled by the parent at the time. They have to consider legal liability (and ultrasound machines can run to the hundreds of thousands in cost…)

YABU think of the other patients who might be there for bad news. Some places are not for young children. I personally wouldn't take my kid there.