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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to only be half scared, and the other half just tired of this crap...

8 replies

BeeMom · 24/01/2014 23:15

I have 2 DCs who have medical issues and SNs - because of this, I have not been quite as good at taking care of myself as I should be... I never quite found my way onto my own "to do" list.

However, I decided to really make an effort to start taking care of myself last summer. I lost weight, took up running and visits to the gym, saw my GP for a physical, she declared me still a little overweight (which I knew and don't dispute) but otherwise in good health (after a cardiac workup because she was a little concerned about something she heard on exam).

I have been continuing with my physical efforts, but instead of feeling better and better, I have been feeling worse and worse. I finally went back to see the GP this week, and now I apparently tick all the "boxes" for her to be sending me for testing as she feels I might have something insidious going on (specifically endometrial cancer).

Half of me is so tired of being kicked when I am down that I really couldn't care less about this - I didn't even have a chance to talk to my DH about the appointment before he got bad news that will affect the family significantly (he has been laid off, effective this past Wednesday - he got the call at 3pm that day, while sleeping to go in for the night shift), but in the back of my mind there is a little voice trying to remind me that this is something I should be getting worked up about. I have a very strong family history of endometrial cancer, lost an ovary to a tumour when I was 18, have been showing a lot of the "soft" signs as well, which the GP had, until now, attributed to stress (and I wholeheartedly agreed).

My DH is concerned I am in denial, but I figure that I won't start freaking out until they tell me it is time.

AIBU to just go on living my life as normal, since the diagnosis hasn't actually been made, just suggested, or is DH correct, that we need to start working together and making plans for care of the DCs while I am in hospital, as I am going to need surgery regardless?

OP posts:
AreYouBlueOrAreYouBlind · 24/01/2014 23:20

Plans are good, as long as you are ok with them changing.
I personally like to plan, it gives you a perception if not an element of control over things. Feeling more organised, ensuring the dc are ok will make it (slightly) less stressful.
Take any support you are offered, if people offer, they mean it.

I hope all is well for you, sorry you are having such a rough time of it, big hand hold and good wishes. Flowers

Flibbedyjibbet · 24/01/2014 23:21

Oh Bee. What a shit time you're having. So sorry. I think you're right to carry on as normal as best you can. No point in breaking down at this stage, wishing you all the luck in the world that you don't need to and all is fine.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 24/01/2014 23:23

Both if you can. When people are worried we all say 'stop worrying, it may not be what you think' so it's ironic you feel you are doing something wrong by not worrying. But if you know you will have to have treatment it makes sense to do some planning while you are in such a rational frame of mind.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 24/01/2014 23:24

Yanbu. Logically, there is no point worrying until you know that there is something to worry about, iykwim. I wish I could keep as steady a head in the face of medical drama as you. You should be really proud that you are so level headed. I am sorry things are so hard for you at the moment. You are doing the right thing having the tests and I hope that you get good news soon Thanks

AtYourCervix · 24/01/2014 23:25

Bee ((hug)) (and i don't do hugs) vague plans will do for now. Carry on but at some point you will need to get your head around it. And when you do, we'll be here.

HauntedNoddyCar · 24/01/2014 23:28

Normally I think it would be whatever works for you. But your Dh must be in a total spin too so I would think you maybe need to listen to his fears about what's coming for him too.

BeeMom · 24/01/2014 23:31

Thanks to all of you.

I have more testing on Monday, and hopefully see the oncologist shortly after that - perhaps next week.

I am trying to see the bright side, with DH on layoff again, at least I don't have to go to the appointments alone... however, one BIG dark side is a trip I promised DS for his 16th birthday. I need to buy the air tickets soon, but if I end up having to find someone else to accompany them on the trip, I am not sure how much extra I'll have to pay to transfer my airfare. We'll make sure this trip will happen regardless of where I am health-wise.

Nothing happens on the weekend anyhow - I'll set my alarm to start worrying midday Monday Grin

OP posts:
OneInEight · 25/01/2014 09:10

I think it is a natural, protective response when you have loads of major issues going on in your life. Good-luck for Monday and I really hope it proves to be a false alarm for you.

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