To be a bit effed off with my best friend

[Thetallestsunflower]

My best friend is mostly fun to be around and we have this friendship where we totally 'get' each other.
However, more and more I am becoming a bit fed up with her being a bit 'me, me, me'.
She is going through a tough time, divorcing a horrid husband but I am not having a great time of things myself. I feel like any time I try and talk about my problems she can't get off the phone quick enough or tells me to get a grip. Yet she rings me up at all hours and expects me to be on call to listen to her problem constantly and doesn't really show much gratitude. I put myself out constantly for her yet all she goes on about it how alone she feels-there just doesn't seem any appreciation.
I know the easy thing to do would be to bin her off, but when she is not whinging about how bad her life is, we do have a laugh and a brilliant friendship.
Should I just accept that I am always going to be an unpaid agony aunt with her, be thankful for the positive aspects of our friendship and seek emotional support from other friends or should I tackle her over it? xx

Look up the term fair-weather friend and you might just see your name there.

I've never been through a divorce but I imagine it's a pretty horrible thing to go through and probably consumes that person whilst they are going through it.

By all means "bin her off" as you so kindly put it or you could do the grown up thing and explain how you feel to her.

Essentially there needs to be balance of give/take.it can't all be she takes
Given she generally ok,can you have gentle word with her?
It's hard going both of you have hard times.i hope things gets better for you both

Just hold did you read the op? The support is one sided

There's no point in tackling her imo - It's a shame but she's obviously always been that way so will probably not change now. If you really value the friendship then seek emotional support elsewhere

That's what I'm thinking just accept the friendship is one sided in terms of emotional support and look to other friends for emotional support.
I don't want our friendship to become a contest of whose situation is more cr@p which it is in danger of becoming. x

I don't think your problems should have to compete with her problems. If she was a good friend, then she should at least give a little bit of time to listen to you.

I think that next time you speak, listen to her but if she won't listen to you, just say "hang on, let me talk about something just for a minute, I know it mightn't be a big issue but still!" If she impies that your problems aren't as big as hers, point out you weren't suggesting they were, it's not supposed to be a competition.

I can't tolerate that type of person and generally distance myself if someone behaves like that on a long term basis.

In friendships, there will often be times where one is more needy than the other, but IME the only friendships that work are ones where it's overall fairly balanced.

I think it's very rude that she's telling you to get a grip, and not offering you any support at all. Is she one of those people that think their problems trump everyone else's?