to apply for this years Big Brother?

[AtYourCervix]

I'd be god.

BB really needs a chunky, middle aged, windswept, lazy person.

I swear lots. I sleep lots. I could do it.

So should I?

Hmmmm

5 funny or interesting facts about me....

Ummmmmm......

I'm quite fat.

I can knit. But only straight lines.

I used to be a nun, and a trapeze artiste.

I can fit 13 ping pong balls up my vagine.

Im desperate to get rid of my teenage daughter for the summer, who knew college finished in June, have encouraged her to apply, let other people deal with the drama for a few weeks, i couldn't think of anything worse than having to share a room with loads of strangers, but you should apply and then you can look after my drama queen

Damn thats only 4'

I relly really need 12 weeks out of real life.

You could be the next Imogen Thomas. Or Chanelle Hayes, or Chantelle Houghton... is it sad that I know who these people are?

I'd love to go in, I really would. 12 weeks of sitting around bitching, drinking, doing silly tasks and with no real life responsibilities.

DP wouldn't let me though.

Boring stuff like child are etc.

Wish I'd applied for it when I was in my 20's.

I think you should go for it.

I often think I should enter for BB. I would be the token boring/sensible one; so uninterested, impartial, world weary, cynical, quiet and jaded about the whole thing that I'd be bound to win, because all the twits would peak to early and I'd be a grower.

My lack of attention seeking and all-round apathy would surely be seen as some sort of genius game plan and Machiavellian guile.

I do think i vould be good. I'll apply and see.........

DP had an agent call him canvassing for folk to put forward for it. (He is in an 'interesting' profession)

He just about died laughing. The lack of Internet access would probably kill him.

And walk around the house wearing a strap on to make everyone feel uncomfortable

Go for it!

We could compile a list of secret tasks for you to carry out whilst in there!

Wear a strap on AND have a penis beaker by your bed!