AIBU to be the tiniest bit jealous

[wonderinthemaking]

of the mums out there with placid, happy babies?

My DD is nearly 6 mo and whilst I love her to bits she is quite a demanding little soul. I regularly go out for coffee with a group of mums whose similar age babies will sleep happily in their pushchair/sit on mums lap whilst mum gets to enjoy a cuppa and a chat. I on the other hand spend the entire time trying to console my little madam who is often screaming about being in the pushchair/being out of the pushchair/on my lap/lying down/sitting up/wanting a different toy. I'm like demented jack in box sitting down and standing up with her whilst my coffee goes cold. This happens everywhere we go. She won't be held by anyone else either when I'm around despite making an effort to ensure she has lots of contact with other family and friends from the start.

I should probably accept that this is just her being her own little person but I sometimes envy the other mums. AIBU to be just a little bit jealous? And wonder what I'm doing wrong?

Just wait. My little bundle of energy turned into a toddler who is still high energy but she sleeps wonderfully now, eats most of anything, plays well and is incredibly independent and confident. Some of the more biddable children we know are challenging their parents with shyness, eating, sleeping (after having been great for years), bullying, lying and all sorts of other things.

This is a marathon, not a sprint and children do what they do. Their kids will come out great, so will mine. It just takes time.

YANBU, but there is no guarantee that things will stay like that. I had one of those easy placid babies, then she became a toddler, once she was on the move she was like a whirlwind. I couldn't sit down for a second, and she would never ever stop talking. You are likely to find yours will just go through easier stages at different times to the others.

You aren't doing anything wrong! Stop beating yourself up and believing that other babies are 'good' or 'better'.

My DS was like that , I used to say he was ' up all night and up all day' ! Nonstop . I had to jiggle him around all day, the older he got the more independent he got so hang in there , he walked early and it was a great relief! Like you I was jealous of people who had it easier and it seemed like the babies that slept all all night and had long naps during day were also the babies that sat nicely and quietly on their mother's Laps

My high needs baby turned into a really chilled toddler - no terrible twos at all. Can't say the same for my friends' sleeping, happy babies. So you never do know!

Mind you, she's nearly 4 now and has her moments...

My first one was like yours! It was horrendous. I would be so envious of other parents whose children would just sit there in pushchairs, highchairs etc. A train ride would consist of me making a constant commentary on everything around us or she'd scream the place down. Sometimes she did anyway no matter what. Coffee shops were beyond stressful.. I just didn't socialise, basically.

My second was not quite as bad as the first (her "issue" was sleeping!) but she still got bored.

My third.. well, I got one of those magic babies. He would sit in his pushchair or sling for hours if necessary, hardly ever kicked off and was just so mild mannered. I went around in a state of bliss most days, marvelling at how well I had adjusted to having three and how it seemed so relatively easy.

Then he hit 18 months and seemed to "wake up" and then some. I guess he was fed up of being treated like a doll by his big sisters.

I can safely say as a toddler he is soooo much harder than the other two were as toddlers and that is saying something! My "easy" baby is long gone.. replaced with a, um, "high spirited little monkey" as nursery might describe him. I have my own choice words

Unfortunately for us, we decided to TTC #4 whilst he was still not too bad, and now I am 31 weeks pregnant with #4 and wondering what the heck we have done, especially if we get another newborn like DC1!!

Thank you all, you have made me feel so much better. Oh crispy I feel your pain about taking the train, DD screamed her head off the entire time we did a short train journey when she was 4 mo. I do keep telling myself 'this too will pass' but at least I know there is hope she won't be like this forever!
Another place I've had the green eyed monster is baby swimming - all the other babies were sailing gracefully past me with their serene looking mummies and daddies whilst I stood in the shallow end for the entire 30 minutes with a very angry and screaming baby . I gave up after 3 lessons.....

OP, several of mine were exactly like that, the oldest one now at university, was the nicest calmest best behaved teenager anyone could ever ask for,

Where as the friends who I envied for having quiet sleepy babies, are still in therapy from dealing with their children through the teen years.

I can't promise you it will be the same, but it will even out.

I'll let you know how my other lively non put downable baby is during the teenage years, when we get there, but it's looking good so far.

Happy memories of my son and 5 others at a baby massage class (with their mums). My son screamed All The Way Through. (26 years ago - I suspect he doesn't do that any more.....)

I feel exactly the same as you, but I have come to accept over time that some babies are just born that way, and as one HV put it to me 'you are just unlucky!' Having said, my LO did have silent reflux and CMPA recently diagnosed so that explains part of the extreme fussiness. I must say though as each week goes my 7 month old is getting happier, so here's to some hope for you, things will get easier

My ds also 6 months doesn't cry much but he needs constant attention, doesnt lie still (always wants to be standing) and sleep is problematic!

I always tell myself it's because he's bright and spirited and I wouldn't want a docile child!

I had one of these!! I used to despair and even thinking of it now makes me shiver.

She turned into an amazing toddler, is now twelve and we've never looked back. If we tell anyone now what she was like for the first year, they look at us as if we're lying...

YANBU, dd was (and still is really) just like yours. She's now 15 months and is a happy, intelligent, independent and (very) mobile toddler. Incidentally, many of the mums whose babies just sat there and gazed contentedly are now frantic with worry that their dc's aren't crawling, standing, walking etc.

I used to feel like this and often wondered what I was doing wrong!my son was a fire cracker of a baby-couldn't sit still, hated being in his buggy. I now have a gorgeous 5 year old son who is always up for adventures. He's as bright as a spark. He's up at the crack of dawn every morning and loves life. We're out and about all the time. Im still exhausted but I now realise that this is his personality, you could never call him lazy!

I found it got much easier once he was mobile but I also realised that I had to tailor our time to suit him so no leisurely lunches. He will happily sit now as long as he's got some coloring in or stickers to do but from 18 months to 3 it was just too stressful.

I still tend to find myself staring in slight bemusement at any baby who is sitting in a pushchair placidly.

Dcs are 4 and 7 now, you'd think it would wear off over time, but no.

I stopped even trying to use a stroller at 18 months. She wanted to walk everywhere, I wanted to let her.

Yes mrst, I also stopped using a buggy very early on except for long distances when holy hell would break out as I wrestled to get him in!

I think that people are right in that it evens out. My theory is that some just don't like being helpless babies and once they can move around and talk they change completely and become quite delightful!

My son was very difficult as a child but then was lovely as a teenager, nothing is set in stone.

I have one of these Tasmanian Devil babies, now 2.1.

His 3-month-older cousin is placid, will sit on mummy's knee throughout lunch looking serene, not saying boo to a goose. DS will be wriggling, pinching people's chips, trying to get down and run around. In the park the other mums are taling about 'blimey, whose is that kid? Poor mummy' as DS rides his invisible motorbike in circles around the slide. For fifteen minutes.

Never a dull moment with DS. But there are moments when I think 'please, could you be a potato, just for half an hour?'

Oh god of course you're not... my first baby was.... err... lively...

My second is the easiest baby ever - he's happy, eats, sleeps watches the world go by and coos. At night he rolls over and sleeps in good, long stretches, no crying or mucking about at feeds, and wakes up happy and smiley to see me.

If babies were all like DS2 there would be a population explosion. I think he's my reward for dealing with the first one who was on his feet and wandering off at 9 months, but had absolutely nothing going on in his brain so we had no way to call him back

I had two of those. Never happier then when you were jogging on the spot whilst holding them, in a desperate bid to keep them calm. . Awake all day and all night Duracell bunnies.

They now sleep well eat well and use that energy to entertain each other whilst I drink .

Other people children are just different and to honest I think the trial by fire that was their first year set me up for a life parental discipline. Other people who had placid babies start panicking and have no clue what todo when their terrible toddlers refuse to do stuff - sleep/eating /not lick the dog.

Me I've seen that madness and approach everything with a "the hell no are we going back to that" attitude. I have been tempered in the fires of high needs babies/willfull toddlers and I am made of steel . I have mastered "the stern and disappointed" face, I can raise one eyebrow and I am now perfecting the "this will end badly for you" face. I can also count to three very well.

But all seriously the DC are soo much fun, never a dull moment chez Lego.

My placid quiet little angel is now a crazy noisy 8 year old whirlwind!
He never keeps still, doesnt know what 'indoor' voices mean and has my attitude.
I look at him and remember those baby times when I thought how lucky I was having the worlds most content baby!!
Your friends will suffer...believe me. Then you can laugh to yourself

My DD(3) was a nightmare baby. Cried all day long. Needed rocked to sleep for sometimes an hour. I simply couldn't have coffee dates as it was torture. As soon as she was mobile, she changed. I truly believe she was frustrated as a baby and wanted to 'run before she could walk', so to speak.

She is now the most wonderful toddler we could ask for. A thirst for knowledge, she is smart and confident. Not a smart arse, just bright, bubbly and fun to be around.

We had our second DD last year and she seems to have a lot of her sisters spirit. It'll just be interesting to see how she develops!