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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not apologise?

8 replies

MyNameIsKenAdams · 23/01/2014 14:31

Last week I was unwell. Too ill to work so DD went off to the CMs as usual and I stayed in bed. I had the full encouragement of DH and the CM to do this (not that I could have prevented the vomiting etc if they didnt).

DH has been feeling under the weather and this morning when he woke I asked of he was feeling well enough to work or would he like me to drop DD at the CMs. He responded that it was easoer to be ill at work than at home with DD, to which I responded that DD wouldnt be here, Id tale her to the CMs.

His response - "oh no, I couldnt send her there and then be off work at home"

Erm, what?

I left, feeling like it was a dig at what I had done last week. He went to work.

Later in the morning I sent him a message saying I was upset at hos comment as i felt it was a slight on what I had done, and that I felt i credibly guilty at leaving dd when I was going to be home. The fact that he had encouraged it eased the guilt.

His response was that I had asked him first thing, he had barely had a chance to wake up, and that he would feel bad sending her for one of us to be off when it had happened the week prior.

He then sent "I accept your apology"

Grrrr.....Angry I havent apologised?!

OP posts:
RandyRudolf · 23/01/2014 14:34

This makes me Grin. My ex used to send that text all the time to wind me up. It worked!

BadChat25 · 23/01/2014 14:35

Just don't point out that you never apologised. He thinks you have and is happy and you aren't having to apologise for something you don't want to...

On a separate note, I have to use up annual leave or I lose it and have been known to put DD in nursery when I am on holiday so I can get things done around the house without a little monster under my feet.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 23/01/2014 14:37

Have responded with "I am only apologising for harassing you when youd just woken up. Im not apologisong for having feelings"

OP posts:
Supercosy · 23/01/2014 14:40

For a start please don't feel guilty if you sent your Dd to the CM's when yo u were ill. That's a sensible thing to do and probably best for all concerned if possible. It doesn't sound to me as if your husband was having a go at you really. He had just woken up, he was feeling ill, he probably wasn't thinking straight. I'd let it go tbh.

CoffeeTea103 · 23/01/2014 14:47

You would only have taken this as a dig if you felt guilty about last week.
It seemed like he just said it without thinking, you are being oversensitive.
If he chose to not send her when he is at home sick, it doesn't make what you did wrong. You just do things differently.

FeliciaDoolittle · 23/01/2014 14:50

Why on earth are either of thinking about NOT sending your child to the CM, where I'm assuming she would have been anyway, when you are sick?

Why would you put yourselves (and your DD) through a day of illness and looking after a child if you didn't have to?

Mia4 · 23/01/2014 14:59

Why would you apologize? Were you short and sulky after the comment? Does he see this as you excusing and apologising? Otherwise why apologise? If you weren't sulky then ask him what he thinks your apologising for because the comment makes no sense.

Or did you.start the text with something like 'im sorry but I have to.be honest...'

QueenofKelsingra · 23/01/2014 15:36

what you did sounds sensible to me. when I'm really ill i will ask my mum if she is around to have the kids for me so i can wallow rest.

however i think this is a mountain out of molehill situation, i would just let it go personally.

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