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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To back out of an interview?

26 replies

sweetheart · 22/01/2014 21:02

I have been thinking of changing my job for over a year and so recently applied for a job and was thrilled to be invited to interview. However having reviewed the salary, hours, travelling etc I have decided I would not accept if I was offered the job. Also my boss is (unusually) going to be at work when I would have to tell a fib to get out of work for the interview. He is local enough to my home that he could "in theory" check up on me so I could risk getting in trouble at work.

My dh thinks I should go to the interview for some experience and I do understand his pov because tbh I am terrified of interviewing, it has Ben a VERY long time since I last dd it and I really could do with the practice!

WWYD? AIBU to cancel?

OP posts:
Helltotheno · 22/01/2014 21:08

YWBU in my opinion for so many reasons. go because you need the experience. what if a better one came up again? if you flake out of this, they won't even consider u for interview again.

SantanaLopez · 22/01/2014 21:09

Don't fib, you'll get yourself into hot water.

If you can get the time off, go.

Original poster
sweetheart · 22/01/2014 21:10

There would be no future interview opertunities with this place so not sure i understand your point

OP posts:
RhinestoneCowgirl · 22/01/2014 21:11

I think you're scared of going to the interview so you're more than happy to find a reason not to go. Which of course is why you should go! (speaking as someone who's had extreme anxiety before interviews).

Original poster
sweetheart · 22/01/2014 21:11

I can't get the time off without fibbing

OP posts:
Original poster
sweetheart · 22/01/2014 21:12

I am totally scared, I haven't slept for 2 days Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
sweetheart · 22/01/2014 21:12

But if I wanted the job the fear wouldn't matter

OP posts:
SantanaLopez · 22/01/2014 21:14

If I were you, I'd not bother going to this one.

Get some sleep and calm down, and then look around for other jobs. Do you know anyone who interviews and would be happy to do a mock one with you?

missmapp · 22/01/2014 21:15

If you could get the time off- would you want to go?

I think you need to work out whether you have you REALLY don't want the job or if you just don't want to risk getting into trouble with your current boss.

If you really don't want the job, then don't go BUT if even a tiny part of you would want the job, you should go.

KirstyJC · 22/01/2014 21:15

Could you not ask for time off for a job interview? Seriously, I have done just that, both this week and in the past! Then you won't need to lie to your boss. That might take some of the anxiety away.

I do think you should do it, but not lie - but then I am so crap at lying I don't usually bother as I get more flustered, so I usually tell the truth and try and brazen it out. It's working so far....!

AntsMarching · 22/01/2014 21:19

My DH had an interview for a job he had no intention of taking. He told me he thought he'd cancel as he couldn't be bothered. I told him to go for the experience. He went and he didn't get the job. Instead, one of the interviewers was so impressed with him that he recommended my DH to another company. DH did get that job, better location, better job title, better salary.

So my advice would be to go. You never know what may come out of it.

TheGreatHunt · 22/01/2014 21:21

What do you mean, you can't get the time off without fibbing?

Do you need to explain why you need the time off? You don't.

Original poster
sweetheart · 22/01/2014 21:22

There is no way I could tell them I was going for an interview, it's a small company and if they found out I was looking to move they would make my life hell! I speak from experience.

The interview is tomorrow so I have no time to get legit time off. I'd have to call in sick tomorrow, or with some emergency.

I want the exact job role but at another (unrelated) location and have made a subsequent application for exactly the same job in another place. The place I have the interview at us quite a commute and would considerably dip into the salary (which is already quite low). I'm hoping I also get selected for interview at the local location but I haven't heard yet.

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 22/01/2014 21:23

If you know you don't want the job there is no point going. I wouldn't go for an interview for a job I wasn't going to take just for experience.

If you think you might want to take it then go.

No need to put yourself through anxiety and getting time off work for something you have no intentions of taking up.

TheGreatHunt · 22/01/2014 21:24

No you don't tell them anything, just that you are taking leave!

Otherwise how would any of us get new jobs?

Original poster
sweetheart · 22/01/2014 21:24

I though fibbing would go uncovered because my boss was not supposed to be in the country but his plans have changed hence why it's a bit late in the day and has sent me into turmoil about going at all

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 22/01/2014 21:28

If you want the same job at the better location, go for the practice interview.

Not just because you need the practice, but also because if you were in the happy position of being offered it to turn down, you could call up the other place and explain that you had a job offer on the table but that you really wanted to work for them, and how is there recruitment process going? Leverage is never a bad thing.

Original poster
sweetheart · 22/01/2014 21:31

The interview date for the other job is next Fri, applications closed yesterday so I should hear soon. Trouble is I would then (hopefully) be taking 2 odd days off in 2 weeks which might also flag warning bells at work. They look for things like that. I really know it could be great experience..... Sigh!

OP posts:
TheGreatHunt · 22/01/2014 21:32

Maybe they'd get the message then that they're not a great place to work. Why on earth would they look for warning bells if someone uses their annual leave as they choose?

LarkinSky · 22/01/2014 21:35

I say go! You need the experience. And good potential leverage as someone else said.

Think like a man, don't feel guilty for fabricating a minor sickness... I'm sure you work hard enough generally to make up for it. Just put some free overtime in later if you can.

What would Sheryl Sandberg say? Wink

AnUnearthlyChild · 22/01/2014 21:35

Why would you allow them to make your life hell?

An interview is a glorious thing, an job offer even better if you play fuck you hardball and use it to negotiate a better deal.

Seriously I have always been quite open with my boss re interviews.

'I want Thursday off'
'Why'
'Interview'
'You planning to leave omg, how unfair, vague threat etc etc'
'Ok pay me more, why would Anyone stay here on this pittance' etc etc

WitchWay · 22/01/2014 21:38

Don't tell your boss a fib I agree. It is good for bosses to realise they might lose their valued staff & so have to make things at work more attractive. Talk it over & ask if they'll give you a reference if you need one. Good experience to go & if you get offered it, what a boost to your confidence, even if you decline.

NoSquirrels · 22/01/2014 21:39

I think you really know yourself that you're making excuses. Go for the interview. Call in sick tomorrow, or emergency plumber or what have you. Use annual leave, prebooked, for your next interview.

You'll be great! Nothing better than knowing it doesn't really matter. ..

WhizzFucker · 22/01/2014 21:49

You have to go! It will make it so much easier next week if you have the interview you want. How about saying as a one-off you need to take leave without notice to sort out a personal issue / emergency which has come up and (maybe just half a day if the interview is in the am).

Good luck!

Jinsei · 22/01/2014 21:59

Please don't ring in sick. Hmm If you get caught out, you'll have a disciplinary on your record and that won't look good in any references if you do want to move jobs.

If you want to go, just tell your employer that something has come up and you need to book leave at short notice. No need to tell them why - it's not for them to worry about how you use your time off.