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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop answering the phone.

28 replies

fluffyraggies · 22/01/2014 20:01

I am 2 days overdue.

We have told everyone we will ring when baby has been born. We.will.ring.you.when.baby.is.born. It's very simple.

Yet still they are ringing/texting at least once a day and asking if anything is happening. And then being all disappointed when nothing's happening.

NO! Nothing is happening and WE WILL TELL YOU WHEN IT HAS! OK??? It's not like we're going to forget, is it? And i'm not going to ring round telling everyone when i do go into labor either!

DM has rung twice tonight. I spoke to her yesterday morning. I havn't answered the phone tonight. I'm not BU am i?

OP posts:
Custardo · 22/01/2014 20:02

whilst i understand the irritation, how lovely it must be to have so many people who find you so important in their lives that they should be excited

WaffilyVersatile · 22/01/2014 20:03

next time you answer and they ask has anything happened say

"Oh yeah, we had the baby this morning.. anyway must dash I have a marathon to run and an artistic masterpiece to complete..ta raaaa"

Felix90 · 22/01/2014 20:06

I was induced with dd so everyone knew the exact date I was going in to hospital and it was a royal pain in the arse. On the day I had constant texts and phone calls and I ignored every single one. DP was on update duty and just sent a generic text out when we had news.

Anniegetyourgun · 22/01/2014 20:07

It's your phone; you are not legally or morally obliged to answer it if it rings. So don't. It's amazingly liberating!

LEMmingaround · 22/01/2014 20:09

Turn the phone off - leave an answerphone message "we will let you know when the baby is born"

Original poster
fluffyraggies · 22/01/2014 20:11

custardo - you're right. You're right of course.

But it's been a long and stressy last bit of pregnancy due to talk of being induced, and hospital cock ups over dates for induction.

DH and i are a bit strung out. I just can't handle their disappointment on the phone all the time and all the 'i've got loads of people keep asking, and i've got nothing to tell them' stuff. They've been ringing every day for over a week! I should add it's mostly DM and PIL. Friends are a bit more sympathetic sounding.

felix we've kept the induction thing a secret. Thank god we did. We've had the date changed twice!

OP posts:
Helpyourself · 22/01/2014 20:12

So,fluffy...
Any news?

chandlery · 22/01/2014 20:13

We made very clear that we wanted no meithering while we were in hospital so because we had audacity to not tell them that waters broke etc FIL actually rang the hospital to ask if we were there as we weren't answering the phone...

Irrationally I've never forgiven him.

HappyMamaBear · 22/01/2014 20:31

YABU to your DM cause now she'll think you've gone into labour and come round, or tell everyone you ARE. :o

Original poster
fluffyraggies · 22/01/2014 20:39

No, no news helpyourself!! Grin

I thought the same thing happy.

OP posts:
TheWiseOldElf · 22/01/2014 20:42

I am 40+6 and my phone is switched off. Poor DH is having to field the calls/texts.

HappyMamaBear · 22/01/2014 20:50

I got to 36 weeks with my first before DP's sister posted on my FB daily. I feel your pain. :)

Mim78 · 22/01/2014 23:01

What Lemingaround said. Please do that!

You know if you don't answer they will assume it's because you are in hospital...

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/01/2014 23:03

Just answer every call/text with, "I am sorry, I was mistaken - it was just really bad wind - all I needed was a good fart".

Btw - any news yet?

Mim78 · 22/01/2014 23:08

You can't win because my dh told my dm immediately our dd was born and she later complained that he "sounded a bit funny" and it worried her. It was 2 am (she wanted to be called). He was knackered and overwhelmed. Moral I think is not to call them straight away but they will complain about that too!

Original poster
fluffyraggies · 23/01/2014 10:30

2 calls this morning again - DM, then MIL.

I answered them both.

You're right mim - mum thought i was in hos. last night as we'd not picked up at 6, 7 or 8. She was worried, she said.

sigh

Why? I was either in labor (which is what we all want isn't it?) or i was out! I didn't say that to her - i actually said 'mother - we will ring everyone when baby comes!' (for the umpteenth time)

Anyway - nothing last night. Going into hos later this morning to be induced. Secretly! Grin SO ... fingers crossed for me.

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 23/01/2014 10:33

It sounds infuriating!!!!!
I would definitely be turning my phone off!!

I've got to have an ELCS and we have given everyone a fake date that it's happening on!! We have told them a date that is a week later than it actually is happening on just to avoid hassle like this Grin

DoJo · 23/01/2014 11:37

My "rule" was that for every time my mother asked, I would add another person to my list of people who would get a call before she did! I would never have gone through with it, and did actually ring her when my waters broke as it was in the evening and I thought I might have had a baby by the time she got up the next day (ha!) so I wanted her to be able to share some of the excitement. She then said (and although she apologised for it immediately, I will NEVER let her forget it Grin) that she thought it was probably harder for her than for me as she was just waiting and I would at least be doing something. Not sure if that was excitement talking, but needless to say she is very contrite about even thinking it now...

PansOnFire · 23/01/2014 11:42

This is why I had my due date as 2 weeks later than it was! I'd started to get a few "anything happening?" texts but only the day before I actually gave birth. I'll do the same thing next time too!

fairyhellokitty · 23/01/2014 12:09

I remember this well before I had my dds
It is so annoying

peppinagiro · 23/01/2014 12:20

YANBU! It's infuriating. I like Dojo's suggestion - wish I'd thought of that :) the worst is when it's coming from women who have had babies themselves - they should know how annoying it is! Good luck for the induction later.

Davsmum · 23/01/2014 12:22

Mothers and mothers in law are really really excited when their grandchildren are due and they worry too. I would totally excuse it!
I mean, how difficult is it to answer the phone?

Be worse if they were just not interested.

Rissolesfortea · 23/01/2014 12:38

My Ddil is 3 days overdue, I am trying not to pester them but I did send a fb message yesterday as I haven't spoken to them for several days. We live 300 miles away so I wont be rushing to the hospital as soon as labour starts but I will have to arrange days off work for DH, care for pets etc when the time comes.

Having had 4 of my own I know how annoying it is when people keep asking but I dont want to appear as if I dont care, its a hard balance!

Popsandpip · 23/01/2014 12:41

You should send this link out via email:
www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com

It'll save you having to talk to anyone!

Fingers crossed everything will get underway soon.

Felyne · 23/01/2014 13:10

For my second pregnancy I added a fortnight on when anyone asked my due date, then I managed to have him 'early'!
All the best when it all does kick off!