WIBU asking MIL about her 'hitting' DC2?

[twosmallbuttons]

I feel awful, and not sure if I did the right thing asking MIL.

DD (3.5) this morning said that MIL had hit DS (1.5) on the bottom when he was on the sofa at her house. Obviously I was shocked but tried to get more info out of her, she wasn't very clear about it but said MIL was angry and hit DS on the bottom...

I asked MIL about it tonight, very calmly, in a "oh DD said a strange thing this morning" kind of way. She was horrified and upset that we would even think she would do such a thing. So now I feel really bad for even asking her if it was true.

But I had to ask, right? Or should I have just thought it was DD making stuff up? DD is normally quite matter-of-fact about things, which was why it was quite alarming to hear her say it in the first place.

(I did ask DH to talk to MIL but he didn't have time before I saw her. He understood I had to ask her, but was pretty sure she would never have hit DS).

I can only think that DD was re-interpreting some other pat-on-the-bum occasion that DH sometimes does, and applied it incorrectly in this scenario.

Totally reasonable to ask. What was MIL's explanation?

Children do lie about this sort of thing. I have no idea why.

I agree you were right to ask, though.

Hopefully your MIL will be understanding once she's had a chance to reflect.

MIL said she tells them off verbally, if necessary, but would never ever hit them. She never hit her own children.
I do believe her. I also want to think I can trust what my DC tell me.

I told MIL why I had to ask, but that I was sorry I had to.

again

I think I would be upset if someone asked me too, I would be able to rationalise it, because obviously I would ask in your place too, but it would upset me ab bit! maybe just incase you thought I would actually do it.
One of my dts have said I have hit them, when I haven't.
I was helping one of them get dressed the other day and a jumper arm flicked him in the face, he was upset and cried and the first thing he told his Dad was that I hit him in the face.

Only a nutter goes around hitting an 18-month-old baby but some people do tap them on the bum.

The story might be true but it's probably just a tap.

Small children's interpretation of reality isn't necessarily the same as an adults - that isn't to say they lie or you can't trust them though. I'd always consider any claim a young child made with an open mind.

I tried to explain that I have to listen to what DD tells me in case something she's seen etc is actually a problem. I tell her to tell her teachers if she sees any of her classmates hitting. So I just assumed this was an extension of that.

But it seems she's either fabricating it completely, or over-exaggerating a playful tap.

Of course you had to ask, your mil will probably see it when she had a chance to think it through.
Like pp have said a 3 yo perception of events are completely different to an adults.