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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not mention I have found the teddy

18 replies

SparkleToffee · 22/01/2014 19:15

So DD has a favourite teddy - lets call him BeeBee. She has had it since birth and has 3 in total of the same (bought as emergency backups). She takes him with her lots if places and really loves him.

She also still has a dummy ......DD is almost 5 and all previous attempts to get rid of dummy have ended in disaster.

I know I should have dealt with it but she now only has it at night.

Over the last 6 months she has become increasingly less attached to BeeBee and does things like chucks him behind the sofa and only gets upset at night when we can't find him .

As a result I spent ages each night looking for bloody thing. DH told her earlier this week that she needs to look after BeeBee and take care of him as we can't spend hours every day looking for it. Over the last 3 days because she hasn't looked for him she has "lost" BeeBee one, two and three.

So now tonight she can't find any of them and subsequently doesn't have a dummy to sleep with. I have told her to find BeeBee or no teddy and no dummy.... She cried for about 30 seconds and is now splashing in the bath with DB.

I have just found BeeBee in the laundry basket, but AIBU to just say I can't find it and see how we go with no BeeBee and no dummy.

Sorry for essay but dont want to drip feed! She doesn't suck dummy all night just to go to sleep and then it normally falls out .

OP posts:
Iwannalaylikethisforever · 22/01/2014 19:17

You do it best when say nothing at all
Good luck /-)

Littlefish · 22/01/2014 19:18

Do whatever it takes to get rid of the dummy! If she's not particularly bothered about BeeBee, then don't push it. Perhaps you could take her out and buy her a small bear as a replacement, but say that BeeBee took all the dummies away when he went.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 22/01/2014 19:18

Nothing to lose really.
DD didn't want to let her dummy go, so we bought her a new special, extra soft...blah..blah.. teddy at Build-a-Bear that she could take to bed instead. It worked for us. Just saying.

Original poster
SparkleToffee · 22/01/2014 19:22

Thank you ! Tbh I know it's the right thing to do but I feel so guilty as I know tears will be on their way at lights out.... I had a dummy until I was 8 Blush and can still remember how awful the night was, the night I gave it up

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 22/01/2014 19:23

personally i would say youv found bebe.. and that he had bee non a trip posting all the dummys to children who needed them.

ds2 has a special teddy and i dont think i could trick him/keep quite about it..esp if i was allready making him give another comfort thing..

Edendance · 22/01/2014 19:45

Go with it! Perfect time to get rid of the dummy particularly, for good.

BadChat25 · 22/01/2014 19:46

I think it's really mean to take away both your DDs comforters at the same time. Give her the teddy and bin the dummies.

Original poster
SparkleToffee · 22/01/2014 19:50

wonderingsoul good idea. I don't have a problem with BeeBee it's the dummies that stress me out

OP posts:
Original poster
SparkleToffee · 22/01/2014 19:53

badchat25 she's in bed and we were talking and she keeps asking for the dummy. I asked her which she wanted most and she said the dummy. I understand your point but if I hadn't got rummaging through the laundry bin she wouldn't have any of them. Just to clarify she has a little ribbon on BeeBee that the dummy is tied to, so for her the two go together. IYSWIM

OP posts:
HenriettaPie · 22/01/2014 19:54

It will be hard to take away both her comforts at once however she probably associates Beebee now with a dummy- my DS associates his taggy with a dummy and can't have one without the other. When he sees one lying around he asks for the other too.

whitepuddingsupper · 22/01/2014 20:55

I would have to give her the bear back but I'm a softy and my DD would be distraught without her bear. I wouldn't give in on the dummy though.

BuntyPenfold · 22/01/2014 21:04

The dentist told DD that there is a dummy fairy who collects old dummies and leaves a little present instead :)
Just like the tooth fairy .

I would give the teddy though, I wouldn't take that away. Getting rid of the dummy is for a good reason, no need to take the
teddy.

Original poster
SparkleToffee · 22/01/2014 21:09

Thank you all. She went straight to sleep no fuss at all. I have cut the dummy off the ribbon on the teddy and it's by my bed in case of nighttime emergency .... I didn't want to take teddy and dummy but just thought as she thought they were list it might work ...... Fingers crossed for tonight

OP posts:
TeacupDrama · 22/01/2014 21:20

the dummy must be hidden where she could not find it like top of wardrobe

i really think they should not re-appear whatever I agree to disappear teddy and dummy would be mean but at nearly 5 she is old enough to give up dummy

as a dentist I wish they were not used but to be honest have seen very little damage done by them upto age 2.5 provided not in mouth all the time

they can damage teeth if they run around with them same as running with pencils or spoons in mouth if theyfall the dummy pushes front teeth forward more acting as wedge to increase the trauma, it is not nice having to extract 2 upper teeth on a 3 year old as pushed out too much to eat etc they can not be re-aligned in case they damage developing permanent teeth

as suggested above the dummy fairy should collect them all for the new babies and leave a small present normally first night is tricky second so-so and by third or fourth night no problems at all

having removed dummy do not cave in good luck

BadChat25 · 23/01/2014 08:31

Please don't keep the dummy. It'll be too tempting to use if you're having a hard night. Bin them. Good luck.

KiwiBanana · 23/01/2014 09:10

If you've got her to sleep without a dummy then never, ever give it back! You might have a few more tough nights to cope with but you absolutely can not give in and give the dummy back.
She is 5, not a baby.

Sparklymommy · 23/01/2014 09:18

We have recently gotten rid of my dds dummy.

We went to the dentist, who told me that she may need a brace in a few years time due to the dummy. As a result I was brutal. We left the dentist and I insisted that the dummy was going in the bin. She cried all the way home but when we got in she went and got all the dummies and put them in the bin.

I'm so proud of her. She hasn't asked for it once since and that was about 3 weeks ago. She is 4.6years old and we have tried all sorts, the dummy fairy, giving them to a 'new' baby, leaving them for Santa... When asked what she wanted as a present in exchange for the dummies her answer (after a moments thought) was "a new dummy!".

Being firm was the answer!

However I would give her the teddy. It's mean to take both away.

BuntyPenfold · 23/01/2014 09:22

Well done sparkly and little sparkly.

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