not sure AIBU or relationship.

[blimeycor]

I'm in a fairly new relationship with this guy. He is a father to a lovely 6 yr old ds and dotes on him all the time. not spoilt just very caring.

Recently I have been enjoying their company and spending time with them, going shopping etc, but my friends seem to think he is taking advantage of me as I only get to see him when he wants to. Now I understand if it's because he wants to spend time with his ds, or because he makes other plans, but I feel like he only wants to know me when he wants something. it isn't always about doing the dirty because there are times when we just enjoy each other's company, but I'm not sure if it's just me, like he feels I'm more a burden then a pleasure, or if it's fear because of his abusive ex?

AIBU to be paranoid about it? or am I just being used?

It sounds like he wants to take things slowly.

do you feel like this or do your friends?

Big difference.

I feel annoyed sometimes when he knows I can't see him for a week because I'm away for work and the one day I can see him he seems to not want to.

maybe he is just prioritising the permanent relationship with his child over an as yet unknown relationship at this time.

you say that you only get to see him when he wants to...could that be more of a "when he can". and of course he is seeing you because he wants something, but you have said that its not always "the dirty" so maybe what he "wants" is adult company.

it is also, as you say, more than possible, that he is cautious about opening up again in light of his previous experience

After your last post then yabu. You are the one with very limited time and you can't expect him to always make that time for you.

Depends what you mean by 'seems not to want to'. If he has other plans he's unwilling to change (like seeing his DS) fair enough, but if he's just 'meh... maybe another time' then sounds like he's just not that into you.

Unless your friends have form for being jealous/unpleasant when you have a relationship, I'd take their view seriously too. Not listen-to-it-above-all-else, but worth properly considering (assuming they've seen him with you)

I see your point. maybe I am just being a little silly. I guess my friends have stuck it in my head.
thank you