What can I do

[Unluckymanme]

I was told by the police three years ago to leave my for my own safety. Which I did. Now a judge has forced me to sign my house over. Ok!! Amount all the bad stuff and sexual accusations which the police got involved with and was a complete lie . I've had my daughter regularly as per court order, three nights a week. I pay for her gymnastics ,swimming ect. And get no help from no one but my family occasionally it's difficult to make ends meet but we survive. Problem is I am owed a whole weekend from when she didn't let me have my daughter . My older daughter will be married this year and I want to go abroad with both of my daughters . There is no communication with my wife and I'm sure she would want to cause a problem . I have my daughters passport and want to go the weeks as per court order . If I pay for tickets I may loose the money . Don't know what to do . I know I can apply to the court at a cost of £215.00 how do I progress?

What does your daughter want to do? Is she excited about her sister's wedding? How old is she?

Remember to keep the focus on what's best for your daughter, not what your XW "owes" you, or what you want or stand to lose. If your daughter wants to see her sister married then you and XW should be working together to make it happen. If she doesn't, then why would you make her?

You might do best to ask for this to be moved to legal? There's some family lawyers etc, there.

I agree absolutely with Horatia's post, it is hard if the other parent isn't co-operative, but this should be all about dd's wants and needs, not anything involving 'owed' anything.

Thanks you both! I'm a positive hands on father! Who wants his child to have a childhood , she is 8. And really wants to go to the wedding i did ask her ! "Why did you ask that question"? she asked . She is with me that weekend anyway but it's 5 hrs away so I want to be there overnight !!thats why I talked about being owed a full weekend ... I wish her mum would grow up and put our child first but that will never happen NEVER! By sitting my daughter down and talking to her about sex stuff to get me into trouble need I say more? the police were involved I also spoke to social services who said I should protect myself !!! So disgusting !! I'm just going to do what is right for us. As I have the past 3 yrs .ive lost plenty already so I'm used it I'm not looking back :-) I'm using my mobile so it's not ideal..

I I I I I I I

I am not interested in what you want.

Your phone has a return button to do paragraphs. If you can do exclamation marks, you can do paragraphs.

The two of us agreed - approach it from your daughter's perspective. But you've come back with what you want, and ranted about your ex again. I understand that you're hurting, but you're coming at this from entirely the wrong angle.

Ok !!! Ok !!!

I think by giving you some back info of how fraught the situation is would help me with the right advice.

My daughter is quite a happy child despite all she has gone through in these her formative years.

We have a healthy relationship , like most her age has a bit of tantrum if she can't have what she wants but that's about how us parents teach our children.

Though I like things here ordered and tidy I'm NOT some control freak .

If you see I I I I then maybe I'm on the wrong site!

All good. So you approach your ex with the proposal that because DD wants to go to her sister's wedding and it's some distance away, you'd like to rearrange contact for that weekend. Presumably the girl getting married isn't your ex's daughter?

The point is that you don't say to her "I want the weekend you owe me so I can take DD to my daughter's wedding" because that focuses solely on you and what you want. Instead it's "how can we help DD to get what she wants/needs?"

Yes I would stop all this talk of owing weekends and focus on what your daughter wants to do. Most eight year old girls would love to a wedding

Whoops posted too soon..,,

Are these 'sexual allegations' you speak of preventing you taking your dd overnight for the wedding or the overseas holiday?

H.D yes! Point taken, so that's how I will put it in the tx message to her. The sexual stuff was all fabricated!

Nothing remotely like that happened when we were a family. I have four nights alone so why wait until my daughter is present ? Doesn't make sense.

S.C no, I have her three nights per week as per court order. So she lives with me also.

And I do appreciate your feed back thanks