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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have implemented a new 'toy regime'??

40 replies

EatDessertFirst · 22/01/2014 09:17

We are currently in the process of decorating our house top to bottom. We started with the childrens rooms (DD5.3, DS3.3), and they both now have ample storage for all of their toys in their own bedrooms so there are no arguements not at all because the constant toy clutter is driving me insane

We allow them to bring one smallish box of toys downstairs in the morning, which is then taken back upstairs at bedtime. Obviously DD is at school most of the day during the week and DS is at nursery during school hours three days a week. They are not 'restricted' on books, we have an entire shelf of their books in easy reach at all times. We are not as strict at the weekends but we are rarely indoors that much those two days anyway.

My DM thinks we are being a bit draconian. We think they are old enough to take responsibility for looking after/putting away/tidying up their toys AND we would like to sort of reclaim our living/dining room.

OP posts:

ilikebaking · 22/01/2014 09:59

I think it sounds great. Teaches responsibility etc.

newbiefrugalgal · 22/01/2014 10:00

Wish I could do this

Swanbridge · 22/01/2014 10:04

I get where you are coming from but I think that it's our children's house too. I expect them to tidy away their toys and we do keep quite a lot of them upstairs. It sounds a bit strict if they'll never have the joy of building a Duplo town for the Playmobil people or something. What do you do about shared toys as well? Unless you want two separate sets of Lego, or you think that only boys can play with cars and girls with dolls...?

BaronessBomburst · 22/01/2014 10:10

How does tidying toys away merit an accusation of gender discrimination? And for what it's worth, as children DB and I had our own dolls and tea seats as well as shared toys.

deckthehallswithboughsoffolly · 22/01/2014 10:20

Sounds a bit too controlling to me as well I'm afraid.

I'm all for children tidying up after themselves, and learning to take responsibility for their own possessions. However, at this age, they will more often than not want to play near where you are, rather than up in their room. Which means that they are very limited with what they can play with.

It also takes the spontaneity out of play if they have to pre-decide which toys to bring down for the day, and then that's it, no more toys to be brought down.

Far too much hard work to police as well!

Can't you find a small set of shelves downstairs to have a selection of toys on as well?

Or, if your house really is very small, then allow them to swap toys around during the day (which is basically the same as 'tidy up one toy before you start playing with another', just with a set of stairs in the way of the tidying up)?

Moomoomie · 22/01/2014 10:25

My only thought on this is, my girls, especially when younger, used to incorporate different toys in the same play, eg polly pockets used to ride the duplo train. They used to make forts out of the building blocks for the happy street people etc.
Soif they were only allowed one box of toys it may inhibit their imaginary play.
I'm all for children tidying away at the end of the day though.

Ithinkwerealonenow · 22/01/2014 10:28

YY Moomoomie, our mini lalaloopsie dolls were riding toy cars around the train track the other day!

squoosh · 22/01/2014 11:01

Tidying away at the end of the day is a must, a sea of plastic tat isn't the best look. I do think your proposed system sounds a bit army majorish though.

ikeaismylocal · 22/01/2014 11:14

I think yabu. Toys are not the most attractive thing to look at but watching your kids play is lovely.

In a few short years your children will want to be alone in their room, yabu to want to insist all their stuff is in their own room.

procrastinatingagain · 22/01/2014 11:14

Sounds exactly like the system I'll be implementing when I start sorting out ds's toys. My house is too small to have loads of stuff lying around. I'll be sorting out and getting rid of lots of my own things too.

whattoWHO · 22/01/2014 11:18

Just beware that the DC don't decide they'd rather play in their bedroom where most of their toys are. This is what happened to me, I started to feel unwelcome in the rest of the house.

LegoStillSavesMyLife · 22/01/2014 11:18

I think everything should be tidied up at the end of the day. But I don't understand why they are only allowed one box. Or why indeed to boxes need to be upstairs.

I don't get why people think children's stuff should be out of the way upstairs and only grown up stuff if allowed downstairs.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 22/01/2014 11:22

Sounds awful to me.Tidying up is fine,but limiting toys like that?Nope!

DisneyAddict88 · 22/01/2014 11:31

im not keen on toys in the front room - most toys live in their bedroom (in very organised boxes ) however during the day they can take out any toy's either to play in the bedroom or in front room but after dinner they help tidy up.

I have just bought a small cupboard so a few toys can be in front room but hidden away in the evening! along with their bookcase.

absentmindeddooooodles · 22/01/2014 11:34

My front room is currwntly covered in train tracks, cars, a whole "bedroom " made for a baby born doll, workbench and tools etc. My ds is 2.9.
He does have toys in his room but has thr majoroty of them downstairs. Id rather him be uere with me than upstaors in his room all day.
He knows that we always tidy up before lunch or going out anywhere/to bed.

I have a child ...therefore my house will be filled with toys and various other mess.

Think only letting them have one box is a bit mean. I see what you are trying to do, but id at least let them have a toy box downstairs...and then have a rule that they tidy up before bringing anything from upstairs down.

Starballbunny · 22/01/2014 11:34

My DM made us tidy away at the end of the day (understandable, small room), but it took so much plea bargaining to be allowed to leave Lego airports etc. for the next day it wasn't worth bothering.

DD2's playmobil people drove from place to place and set up houses, flats, schools and hospitals in various places.

They we perfectly allowed to stay as long as they weren't going to be stood on and went away to allow hovering for visitors.

I hate the idea that DCs and their stuff aren't part of family life, but only tolerated temporarily.

In the end we designed a Scalectrix track that tucked so neatly round the TV stand, coffee table and under the gas fire, that DM couldn't claim it was in the way, or stopped her hovering 90% of the floor and that was allowed to stay.

EstoyAqui · 22/01/2014 11:35

We do this too. My DCs have plenty of storage for their toys. They can bring them down in the mornings. Everything downstairs goes back up in the evenings, except craft projects which are allowed time to dry or be finished. My friend thinks this is unfair as the kids aren't allowed to "make their mark" in our home but I think it keeps their toys together and teaches them to be responsible about looking after their toys.

It also means they think about what they play with. DS and DD mix up the games on a regular basis.

Tailtwister · 22/01/2014 11:40

I think it's sensible to have some boundaries otherwise you end up with your whole house overrun with toys. We have a lot of toys in the bedrooms and living room, but they must be cleared up at night unless it's something like a big Lego project which is still in progress.

My SIL has a rule that you're only allowed one toy out at a time and that has to be cleared away before you play with something else. That's a bit limiting imo. My DC mix games with different toys e.g Lego with Playmobile.

Whatsthatnoise · 22/01/2014 11:41

We try to limit how much stuff dd as out at one time, for us it is more of a safety concern than mess though. DD has mobility issues so alot of toys on the floor make it impossible for her to navigate the space safely. Tbh she prefers to play upstairs anyway because that is where her dolls house is.

MidniteScribbler · 22/01/2014 11:45

I get where you are coming from but I think that it's our children's house too.

And part of living in a household means that you learn that you can not take over shared spaces completely with your belongings. Expecting other members of the household to do the same is hardly unfair, you can have plenty of fun, but be expected to tidy up when you're done. I don't drag out every item I own and spread it all over the house, I use something, put it away, get something else out. Even my two year old manages to understand this and takes his toys back to the big basket in the corner when I ask him to "tidy up", he thinks it is a game.

Perspective21 · 22/01/2014 11:46

YABU and a meany pants on non nursery days your little one is going to want to play around near you and will surely need more than 1 boxful!

fuzzywuzzy · 22/01/2014 11:51

We've got a toy room, I had enough accidentally vacuuming up tiny toy parts, treading on bits and the general insanity it all caused, especially with losing stuff and getting art stuff all over everywhere.

It works.

My house is tidy(ish) I don't care if it's mean or draconian, we do have piles of books everywhere 'cos apparently my DC read ten books at the same time . I do it for myself. DC actually tend to paly better when out of my sight too and they've both split the room in half and take responsibility of keeping their own halves tidy (totally impressed)

Logg1e · 22/01/2014 11:55

I understand your need for the toys not to take over the house. We have one cupboard for toys downstairs. They can bring toys in to the living room and hallway but everything else goes upstairs at night. We have the sitting room which we call the small room and that is a toy-free room. It's practically a child-free room although the eldest likes to go in there to read. And it's where sick children go too.

The controlly thing I worry about is how few toys they're allowed. I'm really, really strict about that.

Logg1e · 22/01/2014 11:56

Lego with Playmobile

I can't handle genre-mixing. Teddies and dolls is my limit.

steppemum · 22/01/2014 12:07

my 3.5 years olds would not have wanted to play upstairs, they wante dto be near me. They also all liked to do that thing where they have the dolls house people playing with the train set and the duplo being used fro building bridges etc, so it needed lots of toys all at once.

I loved the creative play, and hated the mess.

Sometimes we built huge railways that went round the lounge hall etc, and they stayed up for a couple of days.

My youngest is now 6 and we are redoing our lounge and she has lots of space on her bedroom floor, so the big duplo box and the train set are finally moving upstairs.

For me, 3.5 is too young.

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