Any police out there to advise me? Drink driving

[needadvice1]

I don't need anyone to tell me that what is going on is wrong. I am trying to support friend (along with others) through severe depression/alcohol problems but she is currently shutting people out.

Over the last couple of weeks about 5 or 6 people round where we live tell me they have seen her driving very erratically and dangerously - whether it be due to alcohol or medication she is on I couldn't be sure (but presumeably if it was meds the Dr would have told her not to drive?). I think she is driving drunk.

I don't know what to do - I haven't seen her driving like this, but the thought of something happening to her, her kids or someone else is really worrying me. I rang her DH and told him to hide the keys but there have been a couple more reports since then.

What I want to do is to ring the 101 Police line and warn them - can't give too many specifics as I don't know them. What would they do? I'd like them to go round and 'warn her off' the road - give her a stern talking to and tell her her car will be watched. But in reality what can they do? Also I wouldn't want her to know it was me who reported her. Unless they spot her actually doing something will they just ignore or file the info?

Obviously I'm worried about her aswell and am trying to support, but specifically in relation to the driving I want to know what action we can take before it is too late.

Any advice from police/people in the know would be most welcome.

I know this isn't an AIBU but I wanted traffic - if this isn't the right forum, any ideas where else to go? tia

Can you find out the registration of her car? If so do that, then ring the police with as much info as possible, times and routes she normally drives etc. Unfortunately they are unlikely to just go round and warn her. They are more likely to stop her while she is driving, and if drunk she will be arrested. She needs stopping ASAP though, as you say, before she hurts herself or someone else. Hopefully if she gets stopped it will force her to face up to her problems.

I believe there is a number you can ring anonymously.
I think you should report it but be honest and say you have not actually seen this for yourself - others have told you.
I would not hesitate to report it - someone could be killed. I wouldn't mind if she found out it was me that reported it either.

Alternatively - you could speak to her and tell her that you intend to report her if you hear of her doing this again.

If she is shutting people out you talking to her will make no difference, I speak for hard found experience.
Contacting the police will mean they will keep an eye out for the car and hopefully protect others. Sadly sometimes even being banned doesn't stop them, they don't see it as wrong.

Thanks, I think 101 or crimestoppers may be the way to go. Unfortunately she ignores texts, phone calls and does not answer the door even when it is obvious she is in - so talking to her is not generally an option. When I rang and told her DH to take the keys off her she was apparently going to turn over a new leaf and everything was going to change as that was her wake up call....until it didn't. So words will do no good.

I will let her DH know what we are doing so he can warn her - he is in despair.

I rang 101 about 5 years ago in similar circumstances. The reg number gets added to their database ( the same one that if they pull you over for bald tyres etc and if an officer drives past you, they will be notified that their tracking system has picked up a registered number plate and they will stop you).

It took about 2 weeks and this person was pulled and found to be 3 times over!

thanks 4athome - was it all anonymous?

Does she work? Does she pay for her own car / car insurance? Is the car an essential to her?

I ask these questions, because these are the questions (and answers) people do not consider before getting behind the wheel intoxicated - the consequences are much more than just losing your licence for a period of time and being arrested.

If she was arrested, she would be kept in a cell until the alcohol was fully out of her system. She would be formally cautioned and be required to provide fingerprints and a mugshot. She would then be summoned to court, to be given a fine and a licence ban (could be from 12 months or more, depending on her alcohol level and / or any accidents to people or property).

This conviction (usually a DR10 or DR30 if no accidents caused) would not come off her licence for 5 years, and in turn make it awkward to get car finance and increase insurance premiums threefold.

If you need any more info re this please let me know x

From experience of my local Police I can tell you they did absolutely nothing to stop the alcoholic man next door, even though I told them exactly what time he went to the off licence every night, in what car, the registration number and which off licence. This was made easier still by the fact I live in a mile long cul de sac so only one way in and out.

I reported him weekly for about 6 months and nothing was done. In the end I contacted his son who came, locked the car in the garage and took the keys.

I lost faith completely in them after that.

I had a friend who would go on drinking binges for weeks on end. During that time, she would drive. I think she had been banned from driving because she was DUI, but she still drove.

I didn't see her driving, but other people reported her to the police and gave them her licence plate number so they could keep an eye out for her.

I've rung the police this morning after another incident yesterday - police adding her car details to their database so she will flash up when she passes a police car. Have told her DH who was supportive and am meeting with him early next week to talk about how to support her.

What will come of it all I don't know and I will still feel guilty if she does something but at least I've reported it. Bloody hard though....

I think you've done the right thing. But I just wanted to say- you can offer as much support as you like, the want to change has got to come from her. I think you need to support the dh in leaving her and taking the kids with him.

My dad is an alcoholic, and lots of family and friends tried to stage various interventions. None of it worked, my childhood was awful as a result.

You and her dh can only do so much. I would recommend al-anon for you too.