To post here ...

[Iwannalaylikethisforever]

I know this should be posted elsewhere but I've looked at that section and it gets hardly any replies and I'm at my wits end...

10 month old wakes 6 x at least & wants booby all night
Neither ds or I getting any sleep and I'm turning into a witch
Feel crappy and witchy for snapping at dc x4
Dh is as much help as a Gucci handbag ... Made of shit!!!!!!!

Please help with night time advice

Have you ruled out reflux and tongue tie? Food intolerances? Teething?

How long has it been happening?

Is he comfort suckling, will he take a dummy?

Also do you put him down awake or let him fall asleep on you?

Thanks for reply. He falls asleep on me. He has always been a dreadful sleeper and tbh it has became a bad habit out of desperation for some sleep but it's silly, he is 10 months and wakes constantly!

Tried dummy he gags and spits it out.

Falling asleep on you might be the problem as when he stirs and finds himself on his own, he will automatically cry for you.

You need to put him down while he is awake. He is a bit young for controlled crying but I would leave him until he is clearly crying not just unsettled. It should only take a few nights.

Is DS teething? It can be a growth spurt and teething making him want more.

Lots of BF babies won't accept a teat or bottle but they will drink from a straw or an open cup. Try a straw cup like a tommee tippee.

You can cut down BFs, wean DS off slowly and eventually stop.

Useless as he has been at night I'm assuming your DH has plenty of opportunities to bond without feeding, if you've had the bulk of night wakings for 10 months it's time he chipped in. Offering DS water might soothe him. DH can go in, keeping the landing light on but not putting the main light on, and pat and shush or offer him water.

There is still scope for mum cuddles and last BF before bedtime/first BF in the morning.

Thanks 4athome and donkey
I sort of guessed that was the problem with feeding him until sleep I just need to accept some shitty nights to get some improvement but I'm dreading it. HV suggested cc but he just screams and is inconsolable which is why the feeding to sleep is continuing. However it's not working most if the time anyway.
He still has no teeth I keep thinking its teething but no sign yet. Sure my others had teeth before 10 months.
Dh does offer tbf but is so short on patience ds gets worked up more. I keep saying if it was easy do you think is bother waking you. But talk about waste of time . I'm just so bloody tired.

Have you tried DS on a small supper like mashed banana or milky porridge?

not sure whether you would go for this, but we had this problem at about 9/10 months...we did (with a fair bit of heartache) controlled crying and DD slept through the first night and we've never looked back...

Justm - I'd try anything. I did cc b4 Xmas but then by a got ear & chest infection so stopped after a week because he was too upset.
I'm ready 2 try again tho as I can't carry on like this. I hate night times. I never sleep more than 2 hours at a time.
So with cc, do you not pick up ? Just pat and shhhh shhhhh ?

Donkey Is it unkind 2 just stop feeding at night, or did you reduce time spent feeding & is so over how long? I'm going to try baby porridge tonight and def not feed to sleep.
Thanks for replies

Going back to what TheGreatHunt said earlier, reflux can be very painful so it wouldn't be surprising if that is waking him up repeatedly at night. Is he prone to nasal congestion, eczema? Just wondering if you are eating something which he then takes in and reacts badly to.

It might be that his waking is teething influenced. Has he been drooling a lot, tugging on one ear?

Tbh it's rather a long time since my DCs were babies so I'm dredging up stuff from memory but am sure other MNers will advise.

I'd be careful about cutting out BF at night unless daytime nursings increase if his sole nutrition is coming from BF.

If you're sure it's not teeth causing him to wake up, if you take it in stages you could look at night weaning. As you say, reduce the time for each session, gradually. Over three or four nights, between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m., cuddle DS and BF him but stop and put him down awake. Rub, pat, ssh, hold hands, until he falls asleep. Repeat only after he’s slept and reawakened.

The next three or four nights, nursing DS to sleep stops at 10 p.m. When he wakes up, hug him and cuddle him for a few minutes, but do not feed him, put him down awake. Putting him down awake is vital. It encourages him to fall asleep with a little less contact and then a little less. Not BF is the crucial change during this phase. DS won't be pleased the dairy is shut for the night and may fight this but unless you can arrange to go and stay somewhere else then give it a go. He'll be aware one of his parents is offering comfort and soothing, it won't be what he wants. It is hard to listen to him complain, but it will work.

The next three or four nights, don’t pick him up, don’t hug him. When he wakes up at night, touch him, utter soothing sounds, but don’t pick him up. Pat, rub and shush only, no feeding. He will fall back to sleep. Repeat the rubbing and talking when he reawakens. Thereafter, he will be falling back to sleep, with just a rub and a soothing voice.

If you hate this and it doesn't seem to work, stop and try again in a couple of months' time.

Regarding cc - if DS is close at hand and you or DH are offering other comfort and teaching him to sleep at night, and he cries during that process, it's a very different thing imo to just leaving a baby to scream. Some people recommend rocking but I think I'd go for pat and shush or just a hand placed on his torso to reassure him. I don't recommend doing anything in the middle of the night that is not "awake time" activity. Part of what you'll be trying to teach DS is that night time is for sleeping or lying quietly and resting. Have you got a blackout blind for his room?

I wouldn't do cc unless I was 100% sure that there was no reflux etc.

My two were dreadful sleepers and I can remember the desperation but because their reflux (despite medication) wasn't 100% managed, I didn't do sleep training. In the end i looked at their diets, made sure they were fully winded after each feed (even past 12 months, dd still took down air and the tiniest burp would stop her settling especially after night feeds) and we got there gradually.

Agree.

Any chance before bedtime routine you or DH can do some physical activity to wear him out a bit. Or wrap DS up warm, go round the block, get some fresh air? Difficult striking a balance between making him tired without winding him up I realise.

Thanks for replies really helps to get other ideas
Donkey., agree your advice made sense. Ds has baby porridge, bfeed but not 2 sleep, put in bed tired but awake moaned momentarily & went to sleep.
Arrhhhhh so am I.
Every since he wakes an hour later , I'm dreading it, but plan not to feed till 5 am. I think that's ok. He had his tea and a yogurt.
Thanks again

Have you tried a cup of milk at bedtime, and also (blush) what do you wear in bed? Hide the boobies behind a thick nightie and you might get away with a cuddle back to sleep or cosleeping without feeding? Sounds like it's a comfort-feeding to sleep thing but might be thirst in the night?

My DS is 7 months and I have not had more than two hours uninterrupted sleep in those 7 months.
Yesterday we had a total routine change. Previously he has fed to sleep at every feed day and night.
From yesterday morning I fed him when he woke up at 7, fed him again when he woke up at 11.30 then 4pm then bedtime 8pm. He was wide awake at every feed and when he went down for naps I just put him in his cot said sleep tight patted him and left him. If he cried I went back after five minutes then again after all further ten if he was still crying. Every nap yesterday and today he has fallen asleep between 2-10 minutes.
So night time...bed at 8 put him in cot awake and continue the five, ten, fifteenminute plan, when I go in I shush and pat. Shush shush pat pat turn around andcwalk out. The crying gets worse immediately but then calms down and as yet I haven't been back in at fifteen minutes.
I am not feeding him until 7am and he was absolutely fine, in fact actually happier in general for the rest of the day.
I am now on night two.....i have been in twice since 8pm, patted shushed and he has gone back to sleep....
I need this to work as, like you, I have another dc who gets grumpy arse mummy all the time!

All I can tell you is my daughter was the exact same. Notoriously bad sleeper. Some afternoons I sat on the sofa and cried from pure exhaustion...and I had no other children!

She gradually....and sloowwlllyy....got better.

She's 2 next month. Maybe once or twice a week sleeps through. Maybe wakes once or twice. Can still wake up to 4-5 times.

When she stays with my mum or sister she doesn't wake up at all!!!!!!!!

Do you co sleep? We do

How did you get on last night OP?

Mrcabdriver - really? 2 years and not sleep through. Please let me work this out before then. I feel for you. My first dc didn't sleep until about then. I always thought it was the dreadful eczema itching all night. But really I'm learning some babies need help learning to sleep.
I was co sleeping . But last night went back to my own bed.

Quietly - I hope it works for you and other dc, they need to see us happy some time !!!! I feel like I'm constantly in a bad mood, which I'm not, I'm exhuasted.

Donkey . He woke after an hour as usual but I did not feed him and my goodness was he angry at the "dairy being closed !!) eventually went to sleep, woke again 11pm and dh went in, I went back sleep so no idea how long before back to bed. Dh took him downstairs to play (!!!!! Not sure that's wise, but too tired to care) at 2am I did feed him, then again at 5am. Surprised as ds slept better than I thought. Especially since I didn't co sleep either and have always done until last night.
I really appreciate the support thanks.

I expect he was cross but if he gets enough nourishment by day and is just waking and fancying a snack to fall back to sleep it's like me awaking, and prodding DH awake,
"Peel me grapes, pass me the Thorntons!"
Much as he loves me he'd get pretty fed up.

He won't feel abandoned if one of you is there to comfort.
As said before, different if he's in pain, by now you can tell the difference in pitch when he cries.

Yep! And when I say sleep through I mean from when I go to bed (11-12) until about 6-7. Which is amazing!

But with my sister or mum she sleeps all night so I think our issue is knowing she has milk on tap when with me!