To cancel 6 week check

[SuperLovefuzz]

My 6 week post natal check for me and my DD is scheduled for tomorrow at 10am.
I'm still up with DD with no signs of her going to sleep any time soon. She's not crying, just awake! I'm not able to sleep when she's awake though because she's quite noisy with grunting and making little noises.

I'm sitting with her in the living room with the lights dimmed and everything is calm. She just won't sleep though. I know this is to be expected with a 6 week old baby so I suspect I may be told just to suck it up!
I'm absolutely shattered because I only got about 3 hours broken sleep last night too.
I know 10am isn't that early but I will need to be up way earlier because it's a 30 minute walk and it takes me a long time to get myself and DD ready in the morning.
I am almost in tears because I'm so tired. I think I am stressing out even more because I know I can't just catch up on sleep in the morning when DD is sleeping.

It would be possible for me to send a text now which cancels my appointment (automated system) so they would know first thing, but I do know a 10am appointment may be unlikely to be filled.

I really want to cancel it but I am concerned that (1) it is really bad form to cancel the appointment at such short notice (2) I am worried it will make the doctor think I don't care about my baby. I already have 2 vulnerable person reports on my file from domestic disputes that happened when I was pregnant (all resolved now).

I would be planning to rearrange the appointment for another day this week or next week and I would request an afternoon appointment.

I feel like I have been putting too much pressure on myself to get housework etc done and I am feeling like a bit of a failure because I have let breastfeeding slide quite a bit. it has been easier a lot of the time (especially at night) to give a bottle and this has really affected my supply. I know the appointment is quite a silly thing to be worried about and I could just go and get it over with. Right now though, I feel like I need a few days in the house of feeding and pumping as much as possible to get my supply back up.

Btw I'm not nervous about seeing the doctor for any reason. She is lovely and I have no concerns about mine or my baby's health. She was seen by the health visitor last week for a full check and again today at baby group.

I was extremely depressed in the later stages of my pregnancy (got on top of it to a certain extent in the last couple of weeks) and I have been very conscious that I am at risk of developing PND. Since I've had DD I have felt so much happier overall.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of a self pitying rant, just want to explain why I feel this is such a big deal, when really I know it isn't.

So, WIBU to cancel the appointment?

No of course yanbu. Does your gp have an answer phone? Would you feel better about leaving a message to say that you want to reschedule for another appointment ASAP, so that you know they know you're not trying to avoid it?

I doubt they will be at all concerned, people have to reschedule for all sorts of reasons. I'm saying the above more for your reassurance than theirs :)

It sounds as though you are having a hard time of it at the moment and consequently you've been over-worrying about this. Everything feels ten times worse when you're sleep deprived. It is normal to lose sleep- but that's not to say it's easy.

YANBU

Don't feel guilty about cancelling the appointment, if you let them know first thing someone else will take it.

You would not be unreasonable at all. Your priority at the moment is for you to be both well rested and happy. I would highly recommend a pj day in bed. Lots of skin to skin and regular feeds during the day. Will hopefully lead to you having a better sleep tomorrow night.

I was in a similar boat for mine. Can't actually remember the appointment details as the first two months are a fog (and my dc2 slept well).

When you do go out. Get showered the night before and lay out clothes and changing bag ready to go. It is fine for dc to be in a baby grow. A sling can be better for such a distance. Are you on one of the post baby support threads?

Cancel it and don't worry. I have yet to have mine and the baby is 14 months old now! ;-)

Also, if it's that busy a surgery then someone else will get your appointment, they would at mine. And if it's not that busy a surgery well then it doesn't matter ;)

Also, breastfeeding is hard. Hard to get a balance right with mix feeding, hard work pumping, hard doing so much of it early on... If you want some quality bf time then that is a very good reason for cuddling up and not leaving the house. Take your duvet to the sofa tomorrow (just for you not for your DC obviously) and get all your snacks and drinks handy and make yourself a nest. Alternate baby cuddles and then curling up and sleeping yourself every time she goes down for a nap. Don't move except to pee or get more supplies. :)

I'm on MN because I'm in too much pain to sleep. DS2 has a rheumatology appointment tomorrow. I can't cancel as I've been trying to get this appointment for him for 7 years. (!)

I bloody wish I could though. A 6 week check, if you have no major concerns, is not going to matter if you ring them in the morning when they open (so they can release the slots for an emergency patient) to rearrange.

Do you have a partner who could take the baby? I have never attended any of these appointments, DH has taken the DC to all of them as I don't drive and he does. Its an option perhaps if you are nervous of cancelling the app... not that I think you need to be nervous of course, theres nothing wrong with not going/changing the app/sending someone else, its totally up to you!

Thanks all :). I didn't realise how hard sleep deprivation would be! I've sent the text and will call in the morning if I'm awake (hopefully not!) DD has gone to sleep in my arms, fingers crossed she stays down when I put her into the Moses basket!

My partner is working. Plus the check is also for me so I'd need to go back anyway!

This will sound a bit weird but are you talking to another adult at all tomorrow? It's just for me the spiral into the blueness starts with not wanting to leave the house, not seeing anyone. So if Doctor is the only adult contact planned for the next day or so I'd go. Catch a taxi if you can afford it to make the journey quicker.

If you have lots of support and contact in RL. Stay at home, get into bed and snuggle with baby for skin to skin to help get the milk flowing.

Opps took me so long to type I can see you have a partner.

My sister is coming to visit tomorrow and I live with my partner so I won't be alone. I do know what you mean though. Since the visiting of friends and family has died down I have been feeling a little bit isolated. Me and my partner (understandably) don't get much quality time now and it can feel a bit lonely during the day. That's why I made the effort to go to the baby group today (also 30 mins walk) even though I was tired. Thanks again all for replying. I know it's not a huge issue but maybe I'm just projecting my feelings of stress onto this. It's nice to feel supported here, so glad to have found mumsnet.

That sounds good.

It's hard readjusting to being a couple when you become parents. OH and I both tried to touch each over everyday. A kiss, a hand hold, a cuddle as someone is doing the dishes.

Baby groups can be great if you find one you like. It took me quite a few different ones to find people I liked hanging out with.

How are you going today OP?

Hi, my ds is now about 6 months and i can identify with your post- I felt permanently knackered for weeks and it was all such a blur! Anyway just wanted to say hang in there you're doing great. I found it got a lot easier about the 10/11 week mark hopefully similar or sooner will be the case for you