Aibu to be worried about old boss

[roastednut]

This is a real worry to me at the moment although I totally appreciate it's no big deal in the grand scheme of things...(and I certainly have bigger stuff to think about but for some reason this is taking over my thoughts)

So basically I have found out via an old colleague (who I trust) that a previous manager is bad mouthing me to other colleagues. This manager is not from my last job (which I was in for 18 months) but from the one before (therefore didn't provide references etc). This is all in the same large company which I've worked for many years. There was a bit of an issue between us at work which has resulted in some bad feeling. Nothing major but let's just say I definitely burnt my bridges there! (Lesson learnt)

My fear is that she will say something negative about me to my current manager and/or team and I feel like I want to get in there first and say that this person dislikes me and give reasons why.

My rational side says don't do it as why highlight any issue whatsoever to new boss, but the other side can't let it go and feel the need to explain just in case anything gets said. I would just hate for this to cloud judgement on me when I'm new in this great new role.

I am of course concentrating on doing a great job now but I can't work out what to do for the best so any thoughts appreciated! I'm not saying this for sympathy whatsoever (I know this isn't the place!) but I realise this is a bit pathetic to worry about especially as I am going through a very tough time lately with a recent miscarriage following ivf and probably a bit all over the place mentally right now

I wouldnt do anything. Just do as you are doing and I am sure that if your current boss hears any nay-saying about you then it just cannot be possible because you are so nice and such a hard worker. Aren't you? :) xx

Yes DrH that is exactly right thank you

If you worked for me and brought this to my attention, I'd immediately be worried about what else you may have hidden. If I heard your ex boss bad nothing you, I'd assume she was unprofessional and give you total benefit of the doubt.

If you've done something terrible, however, I would expect and appreciate honesty.

Hard to tell from your OP. Good luck though and hope you resolve it.

I agree with Brick. Talking about personal differences in a professional setting always reflects badly on you.

I agree, don't say anything. If anything is said to your boss then, if it's an issue, they'll come to you. Remember that people base their judgements on what they see, it will be very hard for them to agree with this person if you don't resemble that opinion of you.

If anything is said then be honest and stick to the facts of what happened, you'll be the bigger person and show that you don't dwell on the past. It's unlikely anything will be brought back up. You never know, your boss might not actually like this person, if anything is said they might just dismiss it as pointless information. I had a similar situation and 10 years on I haven't had anything mentioned to me, my career hasn't been affected at all. I think most people have parts of their professional life that they'd choose to get rid of, don't give it another thought.

Where I used to work the manager would also bad mouth anyone who had left, even if they went to another dept. It is better to leave it alone, unless your manager asks you about it (highly unlikely I would have thought). Some managers don't know how to act professionally! Glad you don't work for her anymore, hope your current job is loads better!

I had something similar, although an ex colleague badmouthing me to an acquaintance.

I was reminded of the phrase "what Sarah says about Sally, says more about Sarah than Sally".

I'd written a longish post but it's gone!!! Thanks everyone really is v much appreciated and I will do just that

If you know what exactly is being said, try to ensure that you are the opposite.

If ex-boss says you're lazy, ensure that you are hardworking and that it is clear. If ex-boss says you're unpleasant, be lovely. If new boss hears the gossip, they will look at you and think ex-boss is bonkers. Then nobody needs to say anything.

Sorry you're having a tough time right now.