To not want to buy a brand new car and then use DP's old one?

[PurpleSprout]

I don't drive to work very often, but I'm about to move location and will be doing a commute of about 35 miles in total a day.

DP rarely drives to work and has a much shorter route.

His car has been playing up and he is getting it repaired. It's over 5 years old and mine is over 10.

When I am established in new office (and confirmed car is best way to travel etc.), I intend to replace my dinky banger with a nice, larger new car, which I will then use for my commute.

DP today offered the cheaper solution that I buy him a new car (he won't use dinky banger, even though it's actually in fantastic nick and has never failed an MOT, no rust etc) and take his old one. AIBU to think he has a bloody cheek

We do have shared finances, but for various reasons car expenses tended to come off personal rather than joint account, with the person with the smaller car buying diesel if we went on longer trips and chipping in for the odd big repair bill. We split things evenly as a starting point but don't count the pennies (are lucky enough not to need to particularly), but we don't prioritise cars given we have been living so close to work.

DP has had 2 high end & one middle of the road saloon in the time I've had dinky banger. Dinky banger isn't even a banger, but he just doesn't want to drive it (embarrassed I think) and it's not the ideal car for 175 miles minimum per week, especially in winter.

I think that if he want's a new car he should buy it himself. If you pay for it then it's your car and you use it.

HIBU, if he wants a shiny new motor he can pay for it.

Ah no, if you're buying a new car, for you, then you use it. You don't have to justify not wanting his. You've already said what your plans are. If it gets mentioned again, look at him as if he's a bit strange and say 'No, I already said I was buying a new one for my new commute'.

See that's what I think Dangerous and I've held back some money from our individual expenses to pay a big chunk if not all of the car I want, whereas I know he hasn't.

I don't want to start sharing car buying because:

• We're very different sizes
• Very different preferences
• I know from experience he'll fill the car with 15 first aid kits, 3 hi-vis, a pair of wellies and snow shovel in June
• Trying to 'borrow' his car when I have legitimate needs (I was going 100 miles in a day and he 10) is like drawing teeth

I figure I'm doing the miles, I choose the car, I buy the car - no problem.

He's not an arse btw, just very very fussy about what he 'needs' in his car.

And you could ask him 'If you want a new one for yourself, why don't you just get one now?'

If you are buying the car, you get to use it.

In our case DH's car was playing up, but I got a promotion that came with a company car. He thought I should buy him a new car as I had a new one

I think if money not a struggle it sounds like time to get you both new cars. Yours should take priority.

HIBU btw

Dh very keen for me to drive a bigger more substantial car for safety reasons (better grip, side impact protection, abs etc). He does a 2h commute at least twice a week & I want him to drive a safer car too.

Also your comfort is important in longer commute. Def get a nice new car. You can hang on to it for ages but it'll make you feel better now settling into new routine.

We both drive vw passats. Highly recommend for both motorway driving (him) and tootling round town with a boot load of shopping & kids stuff (me).

Hmm. Being 'fussy' about how you keep your own car is one thing - my DH is far more particular about his car than I am about mine, for instance (I am the one with 15 snow kits, empty crisp packets etc). But there's no way my DH would ever stall about me borrowing his car if I needed. In fact he often urges me to take his if I am going out as he thinks it's more fun to drive than mine.

Thanks Zen that's exactly what I said. Let's get me a more suitable car for the commute and sell one or other, then in a few months time, replace the other.

Plus his idea of a small car is a new / newish Golf for his occasional 10 miles a day so I think he's either not been looking at prices (very likely) or misplaced a comma when perusing my updated contract

Eh? Surely your way is cheaper - either way dinky banger (who I'm now rather endeared to) is going and there's a new car bought. Chances are new car will be more fuel efficient and therefore cheaper than 5yr old car? Plus, warranty and possible roadside assist for 12 months means if there are any probs it won't screw up.your commute that much.

Thanks all. Yes, he could get one now, just might have to take a bit of finance in the short term. I don't see an issue with this if he's getting something like a VW. 18 months of finance on a car that would last a decade most likely?

I've been saving my pennies buying fewer gadgets so I think he's looking for an easy way to a new car.

He'll take my view and that of the Mumsnet jury though

lastnight Cheapest way would be to keep dinky banger short term, but as well as being old and light, it's also a cabriolet, so not ideal for a longish commute on a winter morning. I will miss dinky banger, albeit not the way it negotiates speed bumps / pot holes / overtaking anything faster than a tractor

And yes, his ageing saloon is starting to cost money in a way that small cars just don't.

It's your car, you drive it!

Sounds like the solution is only cheaper for him- you use personal accounts for cars, he's squandered his cash, he's also had several new cars in the time you've kept yours , you drive further, and now he wants you to buy him a new car?

He should a) be a bit more concerned about your safety on a longer commute and b) start looking after his cars a bit better if he's gone through 3 high-end / mid-range cars in 10 years.

Purplesprout deserves a car
Her H deserves a bike
She'll buy a Jag
He'll take a hike
And Mumsnet will be right.

To be fair Intertia his weren't brand new (2-3 years old when bought), whereas mine has had one lady owner but that was because he wanted to drive the big fancy car with the gadgets and at the time, we couldn't have bought them new.

I agree though about safety and have had this discussion before when driving tiny light cabriolet to the airport at 5 in the morning for a business trip because he had 'something on in the evening' and needed his car.

Dont Lol! Jags are unreliable dontcha know.

I'd take a bike though. Triumph America?

Actually would've been getting a new bike if not moving office, but priorities and all that.

Get the car, he'll live.
The jag I'd love does 36mpg!! Taxis would be cheaper......

Around here we'd call him a chancer. My response to this suggestion? Nice try love. Jog on.

Lola Yeah, I think he knows he's chancing his arm, thus the above.

I'm astounded his 5 year old car is costing so much. What the hell does he do to it?
I'd love a 5 year old car!!!

He's being unreasonable and precious about his car I will never understand preciousness over hunks of metal you need to get a better car if you are doing the longer commute!

Max Just bad luck I think. I ran an ancient Volve until it was in its teens in the dark and distant past and it barely cost me a penny and I can be girl racer at times. The previous cars were generally fine (just time to get rid) so we've been very unlucky with the fault on this on being an expensive one.

Sprout deserves to pout
Her H is being a twit
She'll buy a car no doubt
And from A to B will flit
While Mr Sprout will surely give out