your not my best friend aibu to ask for help?

[HuntingforBunting]

I dropped ds at preschool this morning. His friend who we had gone on a day trip the day before said as we walked in- your not myk best friend. My dS visibly crumbled. I said something like thats not a kind way to start the day, room leader came over and dealt with it well, I tried to comfort ds without making too big a deal. I was actually really upset and tried My best not to show it. How should we deal with this at home, to help ds be more resilient to this kind of thing and teach him not to do it himself?

I just say that sometimes people are just in a bad mood (they know this from home!) and that they may want to play tomorrow. I tell them that's the importance of everyone having lots of friends and not just the one.

Oh bless him. Its awful when you see your dc being upset. Could try the thats ok im sure he ll want to play later, look at.......sand pit book painting......as a distraction. With any luck they ll be best friends again before you have even left the room.

Agree that it's important for them to feel resilient about that sort of thing, and to help them understand it's not their problem. Have lots of friends, play with other people if X is in a bad mood.

But I'd also want to check that my DC hadn't done something on that day out, unseen by you, that put the other child off. Was he mean or rude or do something that upset the other child? They might both need a bit of help to sort out how to be friends again.

Children I work with are told that having a best friend is not a good idea because it leads to other children feeling sad, and we are all friends at nursery.

We'd talk about things that friends do, and a child that came out with the 'you're not my best friend/friend' line would be asked if they know how to do the things we have just talked about, like play together, be kind etc. They inevitably say they can do those things when they are talking to an adult, and then the situation resolves itself.

God, children say this to one another ALL THE TIME, as well as "you're not coming to my party!" pre schoolers are sk young. Tell him to play with someone else and the other boy will be his best friend again by now. Chill.

Thanks all. X

That must have been upsetting for you and your DS. I doubt he has done anything wrong, friendships are so fickle at that age so I would encourage him to play with many friends rather than focus on a best friend. I would also explain sometimes people say hurtful things without thinking or because they are having a bad day.

I am not your best friend anymore is the worst thing my twins say to each other it results in tears and tantrums.... Followed 10 minutes later with please can I be you best friend....

Twinkle- sounds like my two little ones they're not twins- 2 and 3 years old. The 3 yo always says things like "because you're my best friend do you want to wear my slippers?" closely followed by "you're not my best friend anymore ANYWAY" (the anyway is a new thing, said in a whiny girly voice...... )