To think this basically sums up mil's attitude to me as just a vessel for her grandchild?

[Onelittlebugbear]

Which is how she's treated me from the moment she discovered I was pregnant. And even before actually.

Ds is now 4. Both of us are unwell, nothing terrible, I have a chest infection and ds has a bad cold. Mil knows we are both unwell. She's just texted 'hi bug, how is ds today?'

Aibu that this pisses me off? No 'how are you both today?' Just ds. I probably am being grossly unreasonable but I feel rotten and I have a whole load of other but worse instances where she's basically told me I don't matter. However this one has really irked me. Would it kill her to ask after us both? Really?

wow she sounds awful yab ill - she sent you a hug - she cares enough to ask - get well soon x

Hope you both feel better soon bug.

Text back,'feeling far better than I am, thanks for asking'

It's sorely tempting.
How rude.

Probably would annoy me less if it wasn't symptomatic of a general overall attitude.

When I had ds and knew I would be in hospital afterwards as was having a c section she nagged at me to make sure I'd left some 'proper' meals in the freezer for dh so he could just defrost them as he couldn't be expected to cook whilst I was in hospital. This was her chief concern.

When we told my MiL I was pregnant she said "Ooh, isn't he a clever boy" & clapped her hands in excitement,meaning, presumably, after 7 years of marriage her PFB had managed to impregnate his wife

Oh dear. Mil called ds 'our baby' from the moment she knew I was with child.
I am taking notes so I do not do any of these things with my future daughter in law should I have one.

Oh One, I can really and truly empathise. My mil is an evil bitch. I'm only milk cow.

Text back,'feeling far better than I am, thanks for asking'

Superb!

Do it!

Just ignore the text. Don't encourage that type of behaviour by answering

I am another one that would text back "better than I am, thanks for asking!".

She sounds like a lovely mil. Hope you feel better soon op!

I would also say something I do not understand the put up shut up attitude.

I think you are too sensitive and easily offended. It would not have occurred to me to be insulted by MIL asking how DS was!

It's probably against the background of everything else!

That would annoy me too!

gordy, I must have missed the hug?

It says Bug not hug! She didn't send me a hug. It's nice that she's asked after ds I guess.

I like Joysmum's suggestion.

she nagged at me to make sure I'd left some 'proper' meals in the freezer for dh so he could just defrost them as he couldn't be expected to cook whilst I was in hospital. FFS!

I came out of hospital 48 hours after my C section and my husband asked me what we were having for dinner! Luckily he is normally fine so he was forgiven.