to think porridge is an artform or am I a dumbass?

[tinyturtletim]

I brought some of this super smooth promises no lumps ready brek for dd who is 1 years old and refuses to eat actual food (another story which also involves me smacking my head against a brick wall)

I make it as per the instructions but it is full of lumps still!

So aibu to complain that their 'super smooth no lump ptomise' is actual bollox or am I doing something wrong?

All of my family deliberately make porridge with lumps. (They're called 'bones' in the North.) Now that's an art form.

Learn to love them.

I cant even make microwave porridge it just goes into a lump my dd loves it and now makes her own , i got her to show me how she did it i tried i got lumps i think you are right there is those who can an d those who lump

Microwave porridge is easy peasy! But then I am anal and use the kitchen scales. I put 35 g oats in a big bowl and make it up to 200g with milk (i.e. 165g milk or approx 6 fluid oz) then zap it on full power for 2 and a half minutes. Stir it well and it is usually perfect. Fuller less ground oats need longer to make smooth, more bitty oats need less.
I used to make it with a teacup - half a cup of oats, one and half cups of milk ... but I lost the cup and for Slimming World need 35g.

I measure with a cup. One cup of porridge, two cups of water, or if I am feeling extavagent, one cup of milk, one cup of water.

Nuke for 3 1/2 minutes.

Perfection!

I did all that after i discovered i couldnt make it on the hob I just let the dd make it now it is only her that eats it anyway

Weird, I've never had a problem making porridge in the microwave. I suspect it's health-giving properties are somewhat ruined by the large dollop of honey/brown sugar/golden syrup I always add though.

I weigh up 50g oats then cover it in milk so you can just see the surface of the oats underneath if you slosh it about a bit (dead scientific, I know!). Microwave full power 2mins. Beautiful portidge, never had a lump

Has anyone used baby milk to make it? She won't touchcows milk

cozie if only she would

I've used baby milk- heat up milk, stir in ready brek until required consistency - no lumps :) I always got lumps if I heated the milk and ready brek together

Ah so put porridge into milk not milk into porridge

Reddy Brek goes lumpier, the hotter the milk is. It is best made in a plastic bowl with just the right temp milk.

My microwave porridge is rubbish. I stick some random porridge oats in the jug, some random milk, until it looks right, zap for 3 minutes, and it comes out randomly. I may try Bonzodoodah's recipe.

My best porridge is made in a pan, with a bit of salt, ground cinnamon and cardomon, then mixed berries and seeds on the top (bit of honey if you want)

Ah you don't want a pan - you have to stir and clean that. Microwave you just chuck it in, stir at the end and then eat out of the bowl sloven

I use a glass / porcelain bowl or glass measuring jug too so nothing is leached out of the plastic as I do it day after day.

The texture is so much better when it is made in a pan. I use the microwave for every day, but I still have to clean the glass jug.

It comes out of the bowl of I use that :( and then I have to clean the microwave too :( :(

Well you could either use a larger bowl ... mine is a big 1 Litre one, or stir it halfway through.
Oh and my recipe ... stir it at the end really well. The gluten ( I think it's the gluten) in the oats is heated up so you need to stir it to break it all down more. It looks too thin then suddenly thickens up and is perfect!

Saucepan and a dishwasher, very easy. Equal parts of oats, aawater and milk
I miss having an aga, used to put it in the night before and wake up to lovely porridge in the morning

I make mine in slow cooker overnight on low. 1 cup each of porridge oats, milk and water and it comes out so creamy and delicious.

OP i reckon the ready brek kind would be lump free if you did in slow cooker.

Organix banana & raisin oat porridge 7+ months.

Textured, but not lumpy.

DD loved this when weaning and I might since have bought it for myself because it is bloody delicious

If you want it non-lumpy, then don't heat the milk and oats together! Zap the milk in the microwave, then mix the oats in slowly unyptil you have the desired, non-lumpy consistency. Works every time for me.

To get lump-free ready brek add a little bit of milk at a Hume and stir a lot.

Or time, even. Bloody phone.

or just stir it a lot at the end. Mine's never lumpy ... don't know how you get lumps in there ...

Microwave porridge is bleurgh.

I do it in the slow cooker overnight or if you want to do it in a pan just add one part oats to two parts liquid, put on a v low heat. No stirring required. When it starts to 'erupt' it's done.