to realise after 20 years of doing the same job, that I'm actually crap at it?

[GemmaPomPom]

I feel really ashamed admitting this. Growing up, I always wanted to be a secretary. When I got to 20, I did a shorthand and typing course and finally realised my dream .

So I have been a secretary of sorts for 20 years. I am now an 'Executive Assistant'. During the time I have been a secretary, I have also done a degree and a Business diploma. However, I have lost more jobs than anyone I know and I think it is generally because I am pretty crap at what I do. Some jobs have worked out really well and my bosses have loved me, some have been a disaster. I also seem to have a problem getting on with HR type people. For instance, one of the guys in our HR department didn't do something he was supposed to do for me, and I lost 200 quid. I can't afford to insure my car this month because of it so am having to take taxis to work. But it is a case of "how dare Gemma be so nasty to HR Man?". I tend to make enemies, even though I get on well with everyone else. I always seem to look like the 'bad guy' when it is the other person's fault, if that makes sense.

So my CV looks great, if a bit patchy and job-hoppy. I think the problem is that my heart just isn't in it. I am not in the slightest bit interested in what I do. I do enough to get by but tend to only do stuff so that people like me, rather than to do a good job. In fact, the best secretary-boss relationships I have had have been with utter nightmare bosses who no-one else gets on with. Guys like that tend to like me. I think because I am scared so do a good job because of it.

I also run a part-time beauty business on the side. I go to people's houses to do beauty treatments, just in the evenings and weekends. I would love to do this full-time, I am an awesome beauty therapist (so my clients tell me ) but it just doesn't pay enough.

So I am stuck in a job I hate and I am rubbish at.

Please, please, someone tell me I am not the only one.

This is the first time I have met you and your coming to me with something negative.

Fuck, I hate HR people

I bet you're not as bad at your job as you think you are. What you're probably bad at is office politics and playing those mindless games that you have to play to make people think highly of you.

Being self-employed is much better in that respect - there's a direct correlation between how good you are and how much work you get and how well clients rate you. So if you can make a go of the beauty thing, then I think you should.

If you have a full business plan done it's not embarrassing, it's incredibly good thing. Most people have dreams about their own business, but unfortunately, many of them have no clue about its financial viability. That is one of the reasons why many small start ups are short lived.But if you can run your numbers in the middle of the night, you are natural enterpreneur. I would be quite confident in your small business. Yes, shit does happen, but usually owners who are very clued up about the financial aspects of their business are the last to go.

I have literally just this week learnt the dangers of HR people, up until recently I thought I was getting friendly with someone, but no. What a twat!

You go for it!!! Business plan and all.... very impressive.

KateSpade, what happened? Can you tell us?

I'm a qualified beauty therapist and worked in beauty for 3 years. I hated it after the first year mainly because we got a new manager who I didn't get on with. Once I've learnt to drive I'd like to go into mobile therapy. Trust me you can make a living doing it this way once you've upped your clientele I've seen it done!

Good luck, GlitzAndGiggles. Really hope you make a success of it. Mobile is definitely the way to go.

Becoming self-employed was the best thing I ever did. It hasn't been long - and it definitely isn't easy - but you will feel amazing and it'll boost your confidence instantly. I promise. Took me about a year from realising I could actually do it to finally taking the plunge... and by the time it happened, it didn't feel like I was taking the plunge at all... just felt like the most normal thing in the world. I can honestly say I haven't looked back.

Start gathering written testimonials from the people who are singing your praises - read through them over and over again to boost your confidence. They'll be great on your website too - so make sure you get permission to use them.

Good luck!

Good luck do it!!

Ah thanks you too it's a tough market to crack but defo doable!