to have a man round?

[iftheysleep]

If the children are asleep, I'd think nothing of having a friend over and a and watch a film or something.

But I have massive reservations about inviting a boyfriend over. It's making my life quite hard in terms of dating, and this is someone I know, like, trust etc. etc.

Is that right? Or do people think this is ok? So far I've said he can only come over when they are not here.

A boyfriend or the boyfriend?

For me it depends on how long you've been with them. I wouldn't want someone back to my house (children or not) until I knew them well.

I think if it's a new relationship you're probably right to wait. Then when the time is right introduce your partner and your children during the day somewhere and carry on like that for a while. I think inviting a boyfriend into your home while the children are there is a big step for you all really. I'm also a single parent and would want to wait until I thought a relationship was really serious before involving my children in it in any way. (Which to me would include a chance meeting if they woke up.... which wouldn't be the way I'd like to introduce someone). I get what you say about this making it harder to date though!

I think the opposite - I'm all for early introductions to see how children take to a boyfriend before you invest too much of yourself into the relationship.

But agree just small casual introductions not 'this is mama's new boyfriend' but 'my friend is coming over to watch a film with us' or 'let's meet X at the park today' and only as frequently as you would with any other good friend.

It depends on many things - notably the ages of your children and the seriousness of your relationship with the man.

If the children are babies/toddlers, you can entertain whoever you like whenever you like and it won't makes a scrap of difference to them.

If they're a little older, you need to be careful. You don't want them coming downstairs and asking why you're wrestling on the sofa, and what's that big pink stick his waving about?

If they're more than a little older, you need to be very careful. Keep all casual relationships well away from your home as you don't want your children to see a never-ending stream of different men and think you must be bit of a goer. Only bring a man home if he's proved himself as a viable long-term prospect.

Hope that helps.

If the kids won't see them it doesn't matter.

If the DC are in bed and aren't going to be meeting him/them, then I don't see the problem.

Sheesh. Mothers are also people. Of course it's not a great idea to introduce your kids to lots of random men but you are entitled to a life after they're asleep. If you know him, have him over; but maybe have an escape route established should they wake.