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AIBU?

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Original poster

to expect a proposal very soon?!

33 replies

mummykayxx · 19/01/2014 15:08

me and my partner have known eachother for 6 years as friends. we have been together for 18 months
and living together for a year. we have never had an argument and get on perfectly. we talk about getting married and having more children but he wants to move to a bigger house and to the other side of the country first (its all in progress.. just feels like its taking ages). anyway so because of the move and buying a house he doesn't have hundreds of pounds to spend on a ring. he wants to save first blah blah blah. and I'm like why?? I don't care how expensive a ring is, just as long as it's from him. am I wrong to just want him to get on with it? it feels like we should be taking the next step. we aren't planning a massively expensive wedding just close family and friends on a beach. we are also desperate for another baby, which will come after marriage this time. what is taking him so long? obviously we will marry after the move and things have settled down but I just want to get on with It. it all sounds crazy as we are so young (20, 21) but it just feels so right.
am I wrong for just wanting to make him hurry up?

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 19/01/2014 15:11

You can ask him

DollyHouse · 19/01/2014 15:12

Maybe wait for it to feel right for him too?

stargirl1701 · 19/01/2014 15:13

The impatience of youth...

WorraLiberty · 19/01/2014 15:15

Why does he have to do the asking?

And what's the rush when you've only been a couple for 18 months?

You haven't even had an argument yet.

vegimalfarm · 19/01/2014 15:16

You say more children, do you already have children together?

Original poster
mummykayxx · 19/01/2014 15:19

we have a 3 year old. we both want to but the only issue is he wants to get a big expensive ring when in all honesty I don't care how much he spends. it just feels right Smile Smile

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/01/2014 15:21

Are you sure the ring is his only reason for wanting to wait?

Perhaps he feels you're rushing things?

Only1scoop · 19/01/2014 15:21

Sounds like saving a deposit for a house is paramount to him at moment. Very refreshing in a man so young. Don't rush things....you have so much time....
Sorry I sound like an old lady....
I am one Smile

meganorks · 19/01/2014 15:22

It sounds like you are rushing things a bit to me, even before you mentioned your ages. You haven't been together that long. Why not just enjoy what you have? And expecting a proposal is only going to make you more impatient which is likely to put your oh off rather than motivate him.

Xfirefly · 19/01/2014 15:23

I've found that there is no need to rush. I've been with DP 7 years and there's been no proposal. we own our own a home, have a DD who's 4 months and have good jobs. I know he wants to get married, we talk about it, its just savin up etc. you can't hurry him up anymore.

DollyHouse · 19/01/2014 15:24

Gah, I broke etiquette and advanced search so can't take you seriously now.

oldgrandmama · 19/01/2014 15:29

I'm confused ... you've only been 'together' for 18 months but you have a three year old? Can't work out the math. And ... 'just close family and friends on a beach ...' A beach? Somewhere exotic and expensive? Doesn't sound like it won't be 'massively expensive', especially for the guests.

Something doesn't ring quite right with this whole thread. Sorry.

Casmama · 19/01/2014 15:29

Is the 3 year old his?
Think you need to have a bit of patience.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 19/01/2014 15:30

I'm confused by this thread.

ThistleLickerIsGoingToBeAMummy · 19/01/2014 15:32

I wanna know what the advanced search came up with haha

ComposHat · 19/01/2014 15:33

Yes 18 month relationship & a three year old? Or did you mean three month year old.

Lj8893 · 19/01/2014 15:37

I'm extremely confused.

18 months?? 3 years??? Marriage on a beach?? Not expensive??

IneedAsockamnesty · 19/01/2014 15:38

Very confused, your current 3 yo only turned 2 in aug last year and you were a single parent then

Alifelivedforwards · 19/01/2014 15:38

Her son is by her ex, right OP?

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 19/01/2014 15:39

Why the rush to have everything done now?! Enjoy what you've got, you have a life time together to worry about the fluffy bits at the edges

ConfusedPixie · 19/01/2014 15:41

Ask him if you think he'll respond with yes. DP and I just agreed to get married and set a date. Whilst I'm expecting a proposal from him at some point (he wants to get down on one knee and ask, not that I mind!), I'm just getting on with planning it.

Saying that, being in the same situation (friends for years before we got together), I knew I wanted to get married from the start, whereas he wasn't even ready to consider that seriously for over two years of being together. I could tell when the idea had actually clicked with him though, he suggested actually planning seriously, instead of the jokey "We're doing that." type chat we'd had before. Is he talking about wedding preparation seriously? Or just agreeing and making noises about what you say? If it's the latter he may just need some more time.

DollyHouse · 19/01/2014 15:41

It was the 2 year old magically turning three and the being a lone parent back in October and wanting to go work abroad because there was nothing keeping her here that made me doubt how serious this relationship is. It's a bit Hmm compared to the picture presented in the OP.

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 19/01/2014 15:41

Erm yes. I feel this is a moot point from the search

Athrodiaeth · 19/01/2014 15:42

Did partner find a job yet? (also, why didn't he exist in October?)

JenBehavingBadly · 19/01/2014 15:45

Confused - not that it takes much to confuse me.