"Give us a smile love!" AIBU?!?

[Nokidsnoproblem]

Is it just me? Or is it my hometown?

Every time I visit my home town I have this said to me at least once a week!

Why?!?

I think I'm quite a happy person generally. Clearly not!

AIBU?

Cailin- it's a big generalization to make that women are normally treated like crap. Not all women are.

Heard great analogy recently - it's basically annoying because it's a command - if someone barked "jump!" at you would you really just say "how high?"

And agree, as a younger woman I got this from men, and it pissed me off every time. Fuck you, I am a real person, and real people have emotions that don't fit in with your ideal decor.

Brecon

I've been known to smile at this sometimes. Depends on the person saying it and the general vibe they've given me.

Coffee I was referring to the posts that said being told to smile was better than "I'd smash her back doors in" and "get yer tits out," ie instances in which women were treated like total crap.

I find it annoying, because I don't really want to interact with strangers while I'm out and about, especially men.
I suppose they don't mean any harm though, so I try not to overthink it.

It's such a rude thing to say.

Men don't say it to other men and women, by and large, don't say it to men.

YANBU.

Cailin

Being asked to smile is better than "I'd smash her back doors in".

It's all relative and the on the sliding scale I'd rather it be suggested I smile than say they'd anally fuck me.

So sue me. As it goes I hear the "doors" comment far more often than I hear "smile love".

Has anyone ever said this to a bloke?

No. I didn't think so.

Fortunately, I'm a fat, ugly harridan approaching 50 so nobody expects me to be decorative.

But why the fuck should anyone smile on demand to please a random stranger.

Maybe if the random stranger said something pleasant or witty, they could generate a bit of a smile. But to demand it, is just plain rude.

A friend was recently buying milk for her df at the local supermarket, cashier said to her what's wrong with you crack a smile anyone would think someone had died, to which my friend replied they just did my mum (this was true)cashier obviously didn't know what to say so said well you shouldn't be shopping then. WTF she was getting stuff for df so drinks could be made for the family.

"Give them a hard stare, say 'I only smile when I find my next victim' then flash them a creepy smile."
NoArmaniNoPunani

I've told a fair few blokes to fuck off because I've not liked what they've said. Or just stated them out.

The only times I have ever felt genuinely frightened/bothered by a man were - 1) the time my taxi driver took me in the opposite direction to the destination I requested to go to. I ended up out of that taxi, very upset and calling another one. 2) the time I was walking my v small puppy (now she's a v small dog) having lost my voice, very early in the morning. It was before 6:30am in December, it was dark and he was following me. Followed me home. I was knicker wettingly frightened.

"Smile love" doesn't really register.

We were talking about this on a thread yesterday. It's intensely annoying.

Most of the time, it's just my face- I'm perfectly, and very luckily, happy as Larry. But you know what, I might actually not be. And either way, go fuck yourself- I'm not here to decorate someone else's day.

Ask yourself why men NEVER say this to other men.

I usually say, I'm not here for your viewing pleasure. I HATE it. My relaxed face may look pretty miserable , but i dont know a single person who walks around constantly with a huge grin. And i bet they never say it to men!

My dad does say this to men, as it goes.

I tend to just tell them I am sick and in pain and my smile function is not working. It's always when I am staggering to the doctors, feeling like shite, and just wanting to get it over and done with that I get this comment.

This pops up regularly on Mn.

Have we had the poster who says "they're only trying to cheer you up" yet?

Anyway, it is a comment that is twattish and said by twats.

I have had variants of it said to me and responses have gone from "Eh? what did you say?" dead loud to embarass them, right up to "fuck off ya prick"

No-one has the right to pass remarks over others' looks. Is the message really that we should go around inanely grinning at everyone we pass

You have a miserable face at rest! I do too. Accept that and move on.

It seems I'm not the only one with this problem then!

@CoffeeTea103
Just to let you know, I am actually a very very happy person. I actually think that I could be the happiest and luckiest person in the world. Genuinely I feel like this. However, I don't necessarily express this through smiling. I have other ways of expressing this.

Alis - again having scarier experiences doesn't mean the more minor experiences are nothing. In fact it's precisely because women are taught to ignore their own boundaries with bullshit like "at least he
didn't..." that they end up doubting and questioning themselves when something worse does happen. Women have a right to go about their day unmolested in any way, big or small. Men do not have any right to demand anything, be it a smile or sex.

Fgs why should women accept annoying and intrusive sexism like 'give us a smile luv' because at least it's not a request for anal sex or a threat of physical harm
Jesus. We don't have a quota of sexist behaviour that we are obliged to accept. The only acceptable amount is zero.
A stupid dickhead of a hospital porter said this to me when he was wheeling me on a trolley off to have a D&C and I was in between sobs. If I had been more with it I would have put in a complaint. Who the fuck do people think they are?

I think it's passive aggressive and doesn't come from a place of concern or wanting to 'cheer someone up'.

It's sexist - you are a woman and must look pretty, accessible and pretty for my viewing purposes.

Agree most men don't say it other men!

But I don't think it's anything to get upset about - I just say something very rude in reply or fix them with a fierce stare.

@Alifelivedforwards
Yeah, it's funny that people never say it to the 6ft burly butch blokes!

street harassment

And what EirikurNoromaour said