to be annoyed and possibly angry at what my friend said about my other friend?

[Justholdthesmile]

Had a couple of drinks with a friend A tonight and she was telling me about a conversation/debate she'd had with a mutual friend B about excessive drinking and said how it makes you do extreme/stupid things and the debate was pretty much - alcohol can only have so much of an effect on you to do these things.

When friend A argued that one my close friends (Friend C) is an example that alcohol can make you do really stupid and extreme things.

When Friend B retorted that - yes but she clearly takes drugs as well.

I can 100% state that Friend C does and has never taken drugs, she has never been interested in the slightest. She has done some stupid things when she's been drunk such as falling on a pavement and knocking herself out cold etc. But she's only 21 and is childless and I think most people go through the that sort of phase.

I'm just so angry because when B has never even had a conversation with C and to state so flippantly that she's clearly on drugs is I think disgusting and damaging. I know for a fact she doesn't, so B would not have any proof of this.

C does not even look at all like a typical "junkie" either.

Aibu to think that you shouldn't state facts like "someone is clearly on drugs" when you actually don't know for certain that's true.

Well you might not no for certain it is true either. Alcohol abuse seems to be the main factor here- doesn't matter which drug it is. Is your friend receiving help and support if it is an issue?

Did you ask B what evidence she has that C is on drugs?

How do you know C hasn't taken drugs? There is a wide spectrum of drugs out there.

You can 'be on' drugs and function perfectly normally btw, not all junkies look like junkies. You can be highly functional on cocaine for instance.

*know not no

I can 100% state that Friend C . . . has never taken drugs

No you can't.

Not unless you've been watching her very closely every second of every minute of every day since she was born.

Because she is a completely honest person with me. I also know she has regular and random drug tests (to do with work).

She also cares for her disabled brother on occasions and regularly helps out a different friend with her children (who is a single mum of 3)

So you think it's ok SuzanneUK

If someone who only vaguely knew you (through different friends) and had never had a conversation with you was stating to people that - Suzanne is definitely on drugs.

All because you'd done a few stupid things when drunk as a teenager and had pretty much not done anything that would be considered stupid or extreme for about a year.

Read SuzanneUK's post again. It doesn't say that the friend was entitled to this. Her point is that whilst you strongly believe the friend would not take drugs, you cannot know this has never happened.

"Because she is a completely honest person with me." No-one is completely honest with anyone and drug takers are often in the top of that list.

"I also know she has regular and random drug tests (to do with work)." So do lots of sportsmen. Some of them get caught (think Ben Johnson), some of them "forget" to turn up for the test (think Rio Ferdinand, who may or may not have forgotten intentionally).

"She also cares for her disabled brother on occasions and regularly helps out a different friend with her children (who is a single mum of 3)" I know a Montessori nanny who's as high as a kite most of the time. :( Plenty of parents take drugs while their children are in their are, some are high functioning abusers, never mind about siblings or friends who care for other people's children.

I'm not saying that your friend takes drugs. I'm saying that you cannot possibly assert with complete confidence that she doesn't.

What does a 'junkie' look like?

I don't know anybody who's ever knocked themselves out while drunk... Id say that's pretty worrying. And I and my friends have drunk our fair share in our time.

But the main point is, don't wind yourself up about something friend B maybe said, maybe flippantly, when you weren't there to hear it. For all you know, friend B said nothing of the sort, and friend A, for reasons best known to herself, is winding you up. The only answer needed is, at the time it's first relayed to you, that you're pretty sure friend B is wrong, and then not give it another moment's thought.