Hypothetical situation about DD's school and sickness.

[Farrowandbawl]

As I said, this is just something I've ben mulling in my head.

For the last 3 times her school has phoned it's to tell me she's "looking peaky and says she feels sick and could I come to collect her?". Last time she was faking it and got sent straight back to class by me after I've talked to the med room, and the other two times she was fine once she was home after walking in the fresh air for 10 minutes.

Now, she's 13 and at secondary school. Her primary school wouldn't call unless they HAD been sick but would keep an eye on them if the kids said they felt ill and then let me know when I go to pick them up.

Would it be unreasonable of me or of anyone to say to DD's secondary school, not to call me unless she has actually been sick?

I'm getting the impression they are just wasting my time and DD's education if this carries on and it's getting annoying.

If she's actually sick, then fair enough call me, but if she's just feeling sick..give her some water, some fresh sir then chuck her back in class like the rest of us have to.

She's faking, you bollock her for faking, she doesn't do it again, so you are never again called in for a non-genuine reason.

Problem solved.

Would you pick up your child if there was nothing actually wrong with them if the school called you to?
It's quite a strange question; it presupposes you actually know in advance that there is nothing wrong; how would you?

Just saying - but I used to get abdominal migraines when I was in my early teens. The pain and nausea were entirely genuine but it was completely psychosomatic.

Is she anxious about anything, or anxious/nervy in general? Could there be underlying reasons she either gets a sickie feeling in her tummy, or she desperately wants to get out of school? If so, these issues need to be addressed first. What are her friendships like? Is she a good student? Does she stress about grades?

When that is dealt with, if she is 'playing' the system to get out of school for no good reason, then going home should be a punishment. No telly, no internet, mobile phone, nothing. Silence in bedroom in bed. Until the next day. Simple quick tea early on, and no snacks. It's what we do with DSD when she is obviously putting it on (and bless her, she is quite a hypochondriac!)

"Looking peaky" - put some blusher on her

They have to be nearly dead at DS's school for parents to be rung which is perfect - I have a job that can't be dropped at a moment's notice

At the moment when DS's (13yo) school call and tell me he feels sick and looks a bit pale I ask what lesson he has next. The teacher/TA asks him, he figures he's been rumbled and starts to fell better...
YANBU but at the moment this is a touchy subject

Unreasonable, yes. The school are in a difficult position and they need to make a decision. If they get it wrong, they could be in trouble. Your daughter is trying to skive off school and she is old enough to know better.

As a teacher, albeit primary, i am always very happy if parents say this kind of thing to me. Some children do just need a blow of fresh air and a drink or whatever, but you feel you need to err on the side of caution incase the parents aren't happy. if you know home understand how their child is, and are happy for them to stay unless actually ill, it takes a lot of doubt off the situation and leads to a lot less unnecessary absence IME.