to stay with dh even though we never have sex?

[oliveoil86]

Dh and I have been together for a long time and have 2 beautiful children. We get on really well and I love him dearly.
After we had dc1 we got back on track with our sex life after a few months and obviously having a young child we didn't get to spend as much time together and we started to drift away from eachother abit with all the sleepless nights and busy days.
We concieved ds (so obviously still having sex at this point) but due to bleeding we were advised no sex during pregnancy.
Ds us coming up to 1 and we've not been near eachother. It's become like living with my best friend but nothing else.
I almost feel embarrassed at the thought of being intimate with him because it's been so long (almost 2 years when you count ds' age and the whole pregnancy)
I love Dh but surely he can't be happy and I feel like we've got to a point where we are more just friends..
What can we do?

Talk to him. You've sprogged kids with him, you should be able to talk about six and getting some intimacy back into your relationship.

Do you both want the situation to change? If so, then there is definite hope and you just need to work on things.

If he is happy and wants a celibate marriage and you don't, then that is a massive issue.

Have you asked this question to your H ?

Talk about and do it soon otherwise it will end up seeming insurmountable, you'll both be frustrated, you'll argue and it will get bigger and bigger until neither one of you can take it any more and who knows....

Please talk.

If you decide that you do want a sex life again then make an effort to be tactile, a hug here, a kiss there and perhaps start resting a hand on him in bed or have a cuddle. You can get it back, you just have to start by talking.

you need to talk to him tbh some women can take a while to get back to having sex after a baby and yes it can take up to and over a year apparently speak to him about how you are feeling tell him you love him but you are just not ready yet,

Due to health issues DH and I don't really have a "proper" sex life, but although I am not "happy" with it, I accept it. I would rather have DH and no sex, than not have him at all. I miss the intimacy that PIV sex brings sometimes, but we still have a very loving relationship.

But gamerchick is absolutely spot on, you should be able to talk to him about how you feel.

I have health issues and our sex life can be a bit iffy sometimes i have been with my husband decades you can live with and love somebody and not have a regular sex life but you need to talk and not bottle anything up it can then become resentful

It's become like living with my best friend

That's wonderful: millions of men and women all over the world will be green with envy.

However, if the situation is a problem for either of you, it makes sense to do something about it.

You say 'he can't be happy' but the fact is he can. I'm not saying he is happy but it's by no means impossible. Some people value sex a lot less than others and are often made to feel odd by those who seem to value it above all else.

Have a talk with him.

Nowhere do you say that your sex life was bad so it's just circumstance that has got in the way. What you describe is by no means unusual. I never felt to have got my life back in any way till DC reached at least two. Just don't make it into more of a thing than it is ie talking yourself out of love. Instead accept that you're both tired but the partnership is working and the embarrassment is just an idea in your head. Silly example but I recently had to play a sport I haven't played for years and I was so scared and embarrassed that I was past it but in no time I forgot all that and enjoyed myself.