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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to approach my neighbour for the sake of a few extra minutes of sleep

39 replies

dunsborough · 17/01/2014 05:42

Or am I a grump?

Neighbour across the road drives one of those trucks that beeps as it reverses. It is annoying as fuck quite loud and he leaves every day between 6.15 and 6.30am.
It wakes me every morning.

DH thinks I am being unreasonable as it is close to 7am and I should just ignore it.
The thing is, after over a decade of being up at the crack of dawn, including a time when I had 3 children under the age of 4, and got very little sleep at all, I am very, very grateful to finally be able to sleep in until 7am.

I would like to ask him if he would mind reversing his truck in his driveway in the afternoon when he gets home, and thereforebe able drive straight out in the morning without beeping.
DH thinks I shouldn't.

Back story so as not to drip feed: we have had a few incidents with them over the years, including their dogs (sadly, unwalked and untrained - I don't blame the dogs at all) escaping the house and attacking our dog twice.
Their daughter let herself into our back garden to 'see what DH was working on'.
We didn't complain on those occasions. However, they often have parties and their guests park on our lawn. This would be ok, but we asked them (nicely) to try to avoid driving over our garden sprinklers as they can snap. They got quite aggressive and threw alcohol bottles and cigarette butts in our garden.

So MN ... Should I forgo the extra half an hour or so of sleep, and grit my teeth and keep quiet for the sake of neighbourly relations?
Or would it be ok to politely ask?

OP posts:
Original poster
dunsborough · 17/01/2014 05:44

be able to

OP posts:
zimmyzammyzoom · 17/01/2014 05:48

I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask a reasonable person but unfortunately he doesn't sound reasonable so I think you'd just end up with a fight on your hands. I'm sure it's really annoying though if it was me I'd wake up and lie there waiting for the noise Hmm

3bunnies · 17/01/2014 05:51

To be honest if they throw stuff onto your garden when their guests have parked on your lawn they hardly sound like the type of neighbours to change how they park to give you some peace. You have my sympathy as it must be annoying every day but I can only see the animosity increasing.

whois · 17/01/2014 08:10

Well they don't sound like people you can have a reasonable conversation with! Next time they have a perry call the police and say there are people blocking in your car and parking on your garden.

jacks365 · 17/01/2014 08:13

If you ask what do you think the response might be. I have a nasty feeling that he might suddenly start working even earlier

flowery · 17/01/2014 08:17

Based on what you say about him there is zero chance he will do as you ask, therefore you would BU to mention it as it would be a)pointless and b) antagonise an already unreasonable neighbour.

AcheyFanny · 17/01/2014 08:20

My DH used to have a minibus that beeped in reverse, if he knew he was going out early in the morning he would reverse in at night so he didn't wake the neighbours in the mornings.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/01/2014 08:20

Sounds like they would be unreasonable and rude if you asked so I wouldnt.

Mim78 · 17/01/2014 08:21

I wonder what your other neighbours think?

If futile to approach him maybe sleeping in ear plugs would help?

BumpNGrind · 17/01/2014 08:28

Op you have my sympathies but your neighbour already knows that his van beeps and he obviously doesn't care.

I agree that he would probably not listen if you asked so I'd save face and leave it.

GrandadGrumps · 17/01/2014 08:36

No YANBU. People are often quite oblivious to the effect that actions which seem routine to them can have on other people. I'd just have a word with him about it without making it a big deal.

Assuming it is actually a 'truck' (something larger than a large Transit van) then it's presumably subject to operator licensing and should be normally kept at its Operating Centre overnight. It's quite rare for a residential address (other than farm-type properties) to be allowed to be used as an Operating Centre and as a neighbour you would normally know about it. You can check if his house is registered as an Operating Centre by entering the postcode at www.tan.gov.uk/tanen/vosa_anonymousoperatorsearch_new.asp - if it's not then you can complain to VOSA. In fact, even if it is registered you can complain to VOSA (and your local council) about the noise.

Your neighbour will presumably be aware of this and will probably bend over backwards to appease you if you mention the noise to him. It's normally possible for the reversing alarm to be wired so that it doesn't operate when the headlights are on - or for a cut-off switch to be fitted in the cab.

LIZS · 17/01/2014 08:40

yanbu but he can only do something about it if there is the option of him driving off without reversing . ie if he reversed parked on a drive and come straight off forwards . If he has to manoeuvre he can't help it and no point saying anything.

HaroldLloyd · 17/01/2014 08:44

If I was friendly with them and think it wouldn't cause a ruckus then I would mention it.

If they are prone to being a nightmare and I thought it would cause bad feeling I probably wouldn't as these things escalate sometimes.

Feel your pain though.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 17/01/2014 08:46

By the sound of him if you asked he'd probably start doing it earlier

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 17/01/2014 08:48

What GrandadGrumps said, plus reporting him for using a horn in a built up area during the hours of darkness.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 17/01/2014 08:55

You could ask, perhaps he doesn't realise how loud the beeping is.

RutaSkadi · 17/01/2014 08:58

They sound like a nightmare. Is there any chance they may not be aware of what they've done or about the annoyance?
If you have to live there, you have to work out what you can put up with or else deal with it unfortunately. It's a shame you have to though, good luck with it.

MsAspreyDiamonds · 17/01/2014 09:04

Can you put a fence up around your garden to prevent illegal parking in your garden? Or better still spikes that would damage the tyres & if challenged you could innocently say that it was for pest control.
Also, you weren't expecting strangers to use your garden as a public car park.

I wouldn't approach him regarding his truck noise as he doesn't sound like a reasonable person.

DorsetGal · 17/01/2014 09:08

I'm more gobsmacked at their guests parking on your lawn!

GlitzAndGiggles · 17/01/2014 09:08

Could you stick a note through the door about his bastard noisy truck but not put your name/house number? Or would he suspect it's you?

Jellytotsforme · 17/01/2014 09:20

from what you have said about his general attitude I think there is zero chance of him changing approach. He sounds generally unreasonable. I think unfortunately you may need to leave this one

Original poster
dunsborough · 17/01/2014 09:27

Grin Dorsetgirl I not in the UK and parking on the lawn is rare, but not completely unheard of here.

They probably would not know it was me if I complained, but I am not really a fan of anonymous notes.
I spoke to one neighbour who thinks it is rude too, but is not particularly bothered as she is awake and exercising at that time.

Earplugs would be a good idea, but I like to listen out for my teenagers burglars.

Thank you GrandadGrumps for the info. I will see if there are similar rules here, but I suspect the truck is smallish enough to be allowed.

Sigh. It is selfish isn't it? At least tomorrow is Saturday.

OP posts:
Quoteunquote · 17/01/2014 09:28

He is probably totally unaware that he causes any disturbance,

If he followed the highway code he would not be reversing on to highway anyway,

make him a cake, and ask him to reverse in, and point out it will be safer for him as an additional benefit,

If you do it nicely (cake always helps) , at least he will be aware he is being a nuisance.

Original poster
dunsborough · 17/01/2014 09:29

I am not

Posting from phone - sorry.

OP posts:
Original poster
dunsborough · 17/01/2014 09:32

Cake is good Grin.

Would have to buy one though. If I presented them with one of mine, they would think it was some kind of pisstake.

OP posts: