My son does not like my dog (trivial)

[Calloh]

I have a dog. I love him very much. He is about 10, a rescue dog and incredibly chilled out. He is not overly effusive and affectionate but gently so. He is a dog that even non-dog people like because he just does his own thing basically and when he does greet you and do some big wags it's bizarrely flattering. He is relatively protective of the children and nudges other dogs away.

My son is 5. The dog came first. Sometimes I walk the dog and collect DS from school. DS is really thrilled and shows the dog off to everyone.

Today my son asked for the second time when the dog will die and smiled when I said gently that he was old (although I hope he'll live for many more years). On questioning he got a bit upset because he said I would be cross but he admits he doesn't like the dog and wants him to die. I love DS of course so much.

I know he entitled to dislike the dog but as the dog largely stays out of his way I think wanting him to die is a bit harsh. Inside I was screaming "I don't understand how you can not love the dog, he protects you, he plays with you sometimes" I know DS can feel this if he chooses but I DONT UNDERSTAND and then why does he pretend to like the dog at the school gates. Sorry, this is trivial.

You sound unhinged. Children make throwaway remarks. There's no need to question them until they are upset about them.

And by the way? Your son lives with a dog. Having an animal in the house affects everyone in it. It's not fair on the dog or the people to keep it if someone is unhappy.

I think he's just feeling a bit jealous. He'll probably change his mind again tomorrow.
As for it not being fair to keep a dog when someone in the house says they don't like it, I can't think of a worse message to give a child than that they get to call the shots like that.
He's being 5. My friends kid told me recently that he really, really hates his younger brother who is 4. Put him up for adoption maybe?

I do probably sound unhinged but I didn't question him until he cried.
At least, I didn't expect him to cry. I just looked a bit shocked and asked him if he actually wanted the dog to die.

It wasn't a throwaway comment. He was in bed, I was reading a bedtime story to DD and he came in and asked. It was entirely unrelated so I was a bit surprised.

But you are right, I probably am reading far too much into it.

It's probably just that he doesn't really "get" how losing the dog will make him feel, or he's frightened by the prospect of losing the dog and therefore protecting himself.

On the other hand, does he have any reason to be jealous of the dog or frustrated by him?

I love my DB's dog and make a big fuss of him, but I've been alone with him every day this week and he's driving me barmy! I'm actively avoiding human company because I feel so... encroached upon. (This is why I keep parrots, not dogs .)

That would upset me too

But I am sure he doesn't mean it.

Nobody understands 5 year-olds.

They dont edit and say whatever pops into their head.

Ds1 once said ut would be nice if daddy died so We would get flowers and a party

I don't think that you sound unhinged at all, what a ridiculous thing to say . He is probably jealous or trying to provoke a reaction and maybe realised he'd gone too far. I wouldn't mention it again to him.

Thank you Kittensoft, LadyVetinari and Exit. I'll definitely have a think about what might be the cause. It might be dog walks in the rain!

DH and I would certainly never re-home the dog - quite aside from anything else five year olds don't get a say on that sort of stuff.

Thanks for your help.

Daddy - that is hilarious!! What did you say? Thanks Secret, that is definitely a possibility!

You don't sound unhinged at all. I despise that saying.

We have an elderly dog too, sometimes my not so darling children ask when he will die so we can get a puppy, a white one that dd will call "Coconut"

Just how kids are isn't it? the cold hearted callous little blighters

I told him he would have to wear a suit and he went off the idea.

He had to wear one to his aunts wedding and hated it with a passion!

Sparkly that makes me feel much better! Thank you!

Daddy, that is so funny, I have properly laughed out loud thinking about it. I love that the suit is so loathed as we'll.

santana what exactly do you suggest the OP should do with her very elderly dog that her five year old CHILD makes the odd negative remark about?

My DS2 asked once when daddy died could he have his boots!
Kids say anything..they don't get the finality of death..

We have an 11 year old rescue dog who is lovely, and sounds very similar to your nice dog. We love her very much, and have had her for 10 years, but our DDs (3 and 6) were not bothered at all about her, and also asked when she would die (so they could get a puppy...) I think it's pretty common when the kids are young. I noticed a big change this year in our older DD, it's like she started really noticing the dog for the first time, and has started making a fuss over her and feeding her. I put this down to three things- 1, she's getting older and therefore more empathetic, and understands better what death means, 2, the dog had a cancerous tumour removed and I think it shocked her that maybe this was it and 3, that when you have a dog before your kids are born, the dog is really part of the furniture and they don't notice it. The three year old, on the other hand, is still not very affectionate towards the dog- I think it takes time! I don't think you're being silly to worry though, it's part protectiveness over your much loved dog and part worry that your kids are not being very nice- what's unhinged about that?

santana you sound unhinged...

I don't think you sound unhinged either. Not quite sure why someone would say that?

I have an elderly dog too. DD (5) is always complaining that she would like a pet of her own as the dog is mine not hers. They aren't really friends. It's more like brother and sisters, sometimes they love each other and sometimes it's hate, but mostly they just tolerate each other.

Anyway, we took the dog to kennels the other day as we were on holiday. DD cried for almost an hour afterwards as she didn't want to leave the dog behind! Was a bit of a shock, I hadn't realise that she cared so much.

Not quite sure why I'm telling you that. As you were.

I have a DD (6) and a dog who doesn't sound half as nice as yours! DD properly loves the dog even though he's a bit standoff-ish.

She regularly says things like "I wish the dog would die so we can get a puppy/rabbit/guinea pig" (all animals that the dog wouldn't tolerate). I know she doesn't actually mean it.

Kitsmummy beat me to it..
Don't overthink it, OP.

My son once asked if I was going to die soon. I put on my gooey voice and said I hope not sweetie, mummy is young and will hopefully live until I am an old lady.....his response...ohhhh that's a shame I want you to die soon so I can have your computer...charming huh? He is 12 now and hasn't lived it down since!
My point is at that age children don't really understand death or how it makes you feel.

Santana - you sound rude and ignorant.

Agree kids don't see the finality of death as we do. My little brother told me when he was 6/7 that when I died he was going to have me stuffed and keep me in his living room as an ornament! And he also said that when he died he was going to donate his bones to the dog shelter!