To want to rehome our cat

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I got pregnant (unplanned) last year and DP's parents kindly let us both live there so we could save up some money before the baby was born.
We moved out after 4 months into a rented house.
DP had a cat at his mum's that we couldn't take with us due to a no pets policy and while we were living with his parents I discovered I was allergic to animal fur :(
I had constant sneezing attacks and itchy painful hives and allergy tests came back as positive for animal fur. As the cat won't be able to come live with us again, we told DP's mum we would rehome her. (The cat, not MIL!) she said that no, she would keep the cat which I said fair enough too. I felt bad enough about not being able to keep the cat anyway but didn't know what other option I had because of my allergy, the fact our landlord has a no pets policy and the new baby (due this month).
However, every single month since she has been asking us for contributions towards vets bills/food/litter tray, etc. I have said on several occasions that if she can't afford to keep the cat, I am happy to rehome her and my mum has even offered to take her but MIL is adamant she wants to keep the cat. We've told her that we can't keep paying for a cat especially when the baby's here, but she says she can't afford the cat either. But won't let us rehome her! AIBU to not want to pay for a cat that can no longer live with us, and to want to rehome her?

Just stop paying then she'll have to re-home her. Or take the cat back temporarily & re-home her yourself. (To your mum perhaps). MiL is being silly.

I think she's taking the piss tbh. I'm curious as to how much she needs to spend on vets bill EVERY month and food for one cat.

Just say you won't be able to fund the cat anymore and you understand if she chooses not to keep it.

It's dp's cat - let him sort it out with his mum.

Maybe he wants to continue paying for it so he can see it?

The first time she rang DP on his way home from work saying that they'd forgotten to get cat food and could he pick some up and drop it in? which he did, and as it was a one off didn't ask for the money back which is fair enough.
Then it was happening all the time! And now they're asking for money towards the litter, etc.

I agree, stop paying! My MIL now has my cat because DH and I work really long hours and the poor cat was getting lonely. NEVER has she asked us for money though! The cat is hers now, so she wouldn't ask us to pay for her upkeep. I have offered to chip in for vets bills etc but she's always said no.

Don't give her any money and let your DP sort it out with his mum!

YANBU - just refuse to pay anymore. She can then suck it up or re-home it herself. One cat does not cost a fortune to keep. What on earth does she feed it, best caviar from harrods?

sunshine the cat won't be homeless - my mum has offered to take her!
I would never turf the cat onto the streets or anything. I'm gutted we couldn't take her and feel sad my DC won't be able to grow up with pets but I don't see what other choice we had, and I resent giving money every month to MIL when we have offered to rehome the cat ourselves.

How old is the cat is it one your DP has had for a long time? Is it one your DP is attached to. I can see it could not possibly live with you but does your DP feel a sense of responsibility? If it is his cat I think he needs to be in agreement on the rehoming and deal directly with his DM.

Tell her you've decided to keep the cat yourselves, despite the allergies ... then give the cat to your mother, but tell MIL that the cat is lost (assuming MIL does not visit your mother). Cats do wander, after all.

My worry is, if cat remains at your MIL, apart from her asking for money, she might not stump up for necessary yearly vaccinations, vet treatment is the cat gets ill or injured, flea treatments (monthly - do need doing, avoid flea collars).

Could you split it 50/50. I can see both sides but as your DP had the cat originally and if you were not allergic to it, presumably you would have kept it and been responsible for the bills for it, you would be sort of ahead of the game by not having it with you and making you ill and only paying 50% of it's upkeep.

What's does your DP think of the situation.

DP gets annoyed but then I know he's still giving her the bloody money. When I ask him why he doesn't just stop, he says he feels guilty.

Annie, I think the cat is about 2 years old - if she was an old cat I'd feel worse about rehoming her and would probably just pay for her, but I know some of them live forever so I think it's ridiculous to say that in 10 years time we could still be paying for food etc for a cat that's not ours and we haven't lived with for years.

She can't have it both ways. It's either hers and she pays for it or it gets rehomed. I have three, they are cheap enough to keep until they get sick. £120 at the vets this month for one. No point in claiming on insurance for her as excess is £75 + 20%

Given your mum is happy to have cat; just say, let me know what you want to do with cat - either pay for her yourself or my mum is having, I don't mind either way.... If she says keep then stop paying.