Please tell me if i am being U here Epilepsy, Suspension from work & a hard to work with boss

[KateSpade]

I've been debating asking about this issue for a while now, but as its gradually got worse and worse i really need some opinions.

Im sorry if its long, but please try & stick with it.

Right, so i joined a company at the beginning of november, and went out with my 'team' for a christmas night out in the middle in the spirit of socialising, ect. On this meal, my boss overheard me tell someone else i have epilepsy. They were asking if id driven here so to get to the point i said 'no i can't drive i have epilepsy'. I didn't think anything of it, until my next day back at work when my boss had reported that fact to HR, i was told it wasn't safe for me to work in the role I'm doing (admin role) and that they weren't sure what to do with me, but were considering suspension.

A couple of hours later i was told by HR that from this point onwards i was on medical suspension (full pay so it wasn't that bad) I was off work for 5 weeks and returned in the new year.

Now, since they found out about my condition, they have made the biggest deal out of it. They have bought me a gadget that goes off if it is tilted horizontally and rings through to my boss, HR and Health and Safety. If at any point this device breaks or stops working i am not allowed in the building if their is no-one available to 'buddy up' with me and sit next to me whilst i am doing my job. They have asked permission to write to my doctor to suggest more 'Epilepsy tests' as they put it. Up until this point i have been 100% co-operative. They also wanted a list of dates and times of the points i have ever, had a fit.

Their is a time during the week where i am completely on my own, apart from the security staff and HR. i understand the concern behind this point. however i am sat down all the time during my role and i the last fit i had awake was july 2012 and that is debatable as i was asleep in the car. Although not in a deep sleep. before that i cannot remember.

Now, since they found out i have epilepsy, they have done nothing but patronise me and treat me as if with 'kid gloves'. They have done nothing but call me in meeting after meeting to ask how my medical reviews are coming on, and if i have had any fits recently. I have only been back since the new year, but it is making me feel isolated and so, so patronsied.

(Their have been so many things, too many to mention)

Now this gadget that i have to wear is quite big, bigger than a cigarette packet and it goes off at every slight movement, it has to be sat on my waist, so clipped onto my trousers and it is uncomfortable.

over the past few weeks, i have got rather friendly with the HR director purely platonic and he has admitted to me that all these precautions are so that the company are not held liable if i have a fit and hurt myself in the building and sue them.

& the last little bit something slightly different but it has made me really frustrated.

Just as i started, quite a lot of people warned me about a certain person being really difficult to work with. She seamed to be really nice to me so i ignored what they said and continued to be nice & friendly in a professional way, rather than keep my distance.

Today, i had a meeting around a complaint someone had made about me regarding an admin error. I spoke to the person on the telephone and apologised and thought that was it. Now, it was a tiny, tiny mistake on my part i admit. But i have been actively working in the role for a grand total of 31 days. and most of them were 5 weeks ago.

So, in this meeting i was shouted at, patronised and told off for a good 45 minutes. i took everything on the chin and apologised profusely.

However upon leaving the meeting i ended up in tears, to which she reported me to HR and i got another telling off. Im not quite sure what for then, but it was obviously getting upset. I half expected the director who i thought was my friend to be neutral and here my side of the story, but he didn't at all.

Now: i clarified my epilepsy on my application form. & i was so upset in the meeting today, i couldn't get my point across at all and really embarrassed myself.

So, please tell me if IABU and offer any advice!

YANBU, however the company is bvvvvvvvvvvvvu
Can you afford to quit the job, and look for something somewhere else?

If not, can you get them to arrange an appointment with some form of occupational health, so you can have a realistic procedure in place in case you have a fit?

FWIW, my first boss was epileptic. He was allowed to work, on his own, in a laboratory. I think for a desk job they are being totally over the top.

Blimey - I have epilepsy and have come across some stupid attitudes in my time but it sounds like you are getting a bit of a shitty time. If you disclosed your epilepsy on your application form then Occupational Health should have contacted you once you got the job to go through all these issues with you. Have you been seen by them at all? Your Boss is being out of order in my opinion. How controlled is your epilepsy?

Get some advice from ACAS your employer is very possibly breach the equality act

I think you need to speak to a union or academy about this. They are being discriminatory in their attitude towards you. Disability discrimination is protected by law. I think you need to start a formal grievance.

I've had an epileptic work for me. He also didn't drive. As his boss, my only precaution was to poke my head out of my office and check on him a couple of times a day (he mostly worked on his own). I probably would have done that anyway to supervise his work.

I assume his condition was managed and private unless he told me he wasn't feeling well. At most I could have requested a "fit for work" certificate from him if he'd been unwell or make sure he wasn't operating machinery. It wasn't necessary though.

I've also had a diabetic work for me. I kept jelly beans handy and understood she occasionally needed an unscheduled break to eat or take insulin. No biggie.

I don't know about the uk, but I would think their behaviour is harassment/discrimination in an Australian workplace. Maybe a doctor or solicitor here could advise.

Sorry it is the equality act now..,... A bit out of date with my legislation!

They are being completely OTT. Sounds like you could do with some sort of health care plan endorsed by your doctor, similar to the ones we have in place for children with health needs at the school I work at.

It outlines warning signs that a seizure may be likely to happen, signs that a seizure is happening (as some are absence seizures so less noticeable) and what each member of staff is to do.

And a risk assessment could be done to outline potential hazards (so along the lines of, risk of falling if you fit while standing on stepladder, action taken is to not use stepladder but ask someone for assistance).

Just out of interest, do you get some sort of aura or warning that a fit is impending? And do you even have the full body seizures (don't think they're termed grand mal any more, but can't think what the proper term is)? As it sounds like they have a picture of 'an epileptic' who just falls to the floor convulsing at the drop of a hat, whereas of the several epileptics I know, none of them are like that!

Thats what i considered doing today Sugar just telling them it wasn't worth it and walking out, but sadly i with my Nursery fee's the money i have in savings wouldn't last very long.

and thankyou for telling me that last bit about your boss, next time they even mention the word 'safety alarm' i am going to tell them that.

Luckily Writer i haven't come across any shitty attitudes up until now. & i have been through a million health & safety reviews and I'm not even sure if they have an occy health dept.
Its fairly well controlled at the moment, when i was going through all the fits I've ever had it worked out at about one a year.

Please don't ay "an epileptic", its really demeaning.

OP, you need to contact a disability advocacy group for advice, your workplace is insane.

Do you work for the prison service?

I ask because that was exactly what happened to me aside from the device you mentioned but had they known about it they would have used it.

While I worked there I was told I could never be on my own, I wasn't allowed to travel to work on my own (it didn't take them long to realise they couldn't enforce that one!) and I couldn't work in a building with stairs. They acted like I was about to drop dead any second.

As soon as they knew they just wanted me out and would do anything to achieve that.

I was dragged to meeting after meeting and given about a million risk assessments. Other staff despised me because dealing with all the accommodations I didn't need or want made their lives more difficult. Of course they were told I had requested all these accommodations to stir up the hate (bullying me in to leaving was the cheap options so they tried that on a continuous basis).

I stuck it out for two years while I was bullied, belittled and treated like shit. I gave up fighting after I had my eldest and they got risk of me but getting ATOS to sign off that I couldn't work in any job on medical grounds. They ignored they fact I had held a job since i was thirteen, that my consultant thought they were ridiculous and that I managed to care for a baby all day on my own.

Good luck with it, sorry I can't offer a more positive perspective. I would suggest just get out of there, it will only get worse. I had the union involved, solicitors involved but nothing solves the problem they will always win.

Worth checking the helpline run by the epilepsy action charity?
www.epilepsy.org.uk/about/contact-us

It's disabiliy discrimination. I'm really tired but will try to post with proper advice in the morning. If I don't do pm me.

kate - when I told one colleague I had epilepsy she told me I must be mistaken as I was "too pretty and normal to have that". When I told her I wasn't mistaken (wtf) she said, "Well I am surprised you have that, you wouldn't think it to look at you!" What are we supposed to look like??

Another colleague asked me if it meant I had to carry any Epi-Pen on me....

The worrying thing is they were both nurses!!

Have they not heard of the Equalities Act? Smacks of disability discrimination to me. Keep a diary of any instances where they make you feel shit, patronise you, bully you or subject you to any less favourable treatment than anyone else. I cannot believe how some companies think they can get away with this sort of shit in this day and age. Epilepsy is automatically covered by the Equalities Act as a disability so they need to be very careful how they deal with you or they potentially could end up facing a tribunal if you decided to take it further.

I particularly draw your attention to the part in the following link which describes perceived discrimination as it seems that is what they are doing to you.

www.epilepsysociety.org.uk/equality-law-and-disability-discrimination#.Utb7zH8gGSM

That's outrageous, I do hope you're in a union? Please contact them if you are.

How do i go about taking it further?

Yes, i do have grand mal seizures Sick i explained i do get an aura, but its usually immediately before a seizure and i can't do anything to stop it/get to a safe place.

But, come-one I've not had a fit whilst I've been awake in years. I'm so glad people are agreeing with me, its been really upsetting me since i went back. You should of heard what they said when i told them the alarm was broken.

They are constantly repeating that this is all for my health and safety. when i know its nothing to do with that whatsoever.

& i have offered doctors letters time and time again, but have been told by the HR manager that 'the insurance won't take anything'

don't think they're termed grand mal any more, but can't think what the proper term is)

Tonic-clonic

OH has epilepsy and has never had any special work related measures other than colleagues being aware of his condition. It all sounds v. strange.

Hi Kate!

I am really sorry to read about what a hard time you are having. Can I ask where you are roughly? My husband is a consultant who specialises in the care of epilepsy and is always appalled to hear stories like yours particularly nowadays! I am a practice nurse who is sitting quietly seething in anger for you!!!

Your work are discriminating against you and I think they are breaking most of the rules of the disability discrimination act (hopefully someone will come along to clarify that bit). If you documented your epilepsy on your application form and you are seizure free at present then there should not be an issue. The alarm that they are making you wear is pointless and just an irritant to you which potentially could make you more stressed resulting in you becoming unwell.

I think you need to speak to someone like citizens advice bureau, epilepsy uk or epilepsy action. Also are you still under the care of a hospital specialist, if so their nurse specialist should be able to guide you.

When DH comes home from work I will ask him if he has any advice for you! Though i think that you may find that you would be better off seeking employment elsewhere, where they are less jumpy and scared of health issues. When I worked in hospitals, I worked alongside surgeons who had diabetes, epilepsy and other such conditions and there were never any comments made or problems created by the management!

Keep a diary noting every reference they make to it and their actions. I think they do have a responsibility to act and make sure you are safe but it sounds as if their actions are disproportionate to the risk and are affecting your dignity at work

The complaint and colleague is a different issue but I'm sure muddled with how you are feeling about their management generally.

I have epilepsy and no one has ever treated me like that. I work alone and have never heard of anyone carrying those alarms. I would get union advice and contact an epilepsy charity for help

Thats crazy YANBU! I have been diagnosed with epilepsy, but it is only petite mal/simple partial seizures. It involves me feeling as if I have been in a day dream, intense deja vu and vomiting.
I usually feel it coming on a day before and I dont fit, my only issue would be needing something to throw up in, as I cant move far when it happens and a rest once it does happen. This happens every 1-2 months.

It doesn't effect my work in anyway and im not on medication. I would hate to think that I was treated with kid gloves due to it.

You need some professional advice. If you are not in a union, you could try the CAB as they do have people with experience of employment issues who would be able to advise. Also check your house insurance to see if you have legal cover as you may be able to get some legal advice from there too. Do you have a copy of the company's grievance procedure? That must outline what you need to do if you have a problem at work. I'm a union rep so I do have some knowledge of disability discrimination and have dealt with members with long-term conditions before.

Lilicat some of that sounds exactly what i have had. Its just so patronising. & I'm sorry you've had a bad time of it too.

Writer thats shocking! i can't believe anyone would say that!

Its just the most ridiculous thing anyway, but with what happened this morning, it just seems that that has tipped me over the edge. They even brought up my epilepsy in that meeting. How you can go from telling me off for crying to epilepsy is beyond me.

It's all especially ridiculous when you consider that the DVLA would consider you to be fit to drive as you have been seizure free for over a year.

redastra i am in the north west. Please do ask him, that would be very kind thank you. & i can say that it is making me more unwell, and very stressed which can sometimes bring on my seizures.

The other point that is that i can 100% guarantee that if i don't wear that device for any time/refuse to wear it (which wouldn't go down well) they would get rid of me/not allow me to work that role. Today the device wasn't working and they made one of the apprentices sit next to me and was told 'not to move away from Kate at any point in time'

lillicat - that is absolutely awful!!!