Is the grass greener over on the Private side??

[sweetsoulsister]

I'm not sure I'm happy with the state of my son's 'Outstanding' local state school.

I had some concerns about his understanding last year, when I met with his teacher I was assured that he was doing fine and was making excellent progress. This year his new teacher did in fact flag up some of my concerns and we took steps so I could support his learning at home and was told later on that he was making excellent progress and there were no further concerns.

Without going into too much detail that may out myself, I have very good reason to believe that there are significant issues throughout the school with teaching and learning, and not necessarily because of bad management or poor teaching, as a former teacher myself, I know the issues surrounding assessment data, expected progress and the like. I strongly feel that my son is getting lost in the shuffle of all of this and I'm very concerned. I'm especially concerned because I don't feel like speaking to the head will solve my concerns as I believe the problem goes beyond that.

So my question is...would it be worth severely stretching ourselves financially to put my child through private education? Are private schools that much better at cutting through this bullshit and providing a decent education? I would really appreciate some honest answers from parents and teachers in the know.

IME you'd be better off paying for high-end private tutors than a middle or low-end private school, if you concerns are about his academic development, and/or a few social extracurricular activities (e.g. drama, team sports, a group-based music club) if you feel that he lacks the confidence to needed to draw attention to himself or participate fully at school.

I don't think private schools can be generalised in the way a direct answer to your question would imply. They are all so vastly different, and an excellent school might be crap for your particular child.

I think it's all about finding a school that suits your child. I was privately educated, but I can see that my children have been better served in their different state schools than I ever was at any of the three private schools I went to.

I your position it would be worth researching the private schools local to you and making a decision from there.

Sorry, dog pressed send! What I meant to say was this:

If you're happy with the school but feel that your son has problems which can be fixed by devoting more targeted attention to his academic or social development, then I'd keep him in the familiar (and free) learning environment and supplement it with high quality provision elsewhere. That could mean some really high quality, individualised extra tuition that's targeted at his specific academic weaknesses, or the opportunity to start socialising in an environment where he has a "clean slate" (i.e. where he doesn't feel constrained by others' prior impressions of him) and access to activities that support interaction, self-esteem and confidence.

No. I don't think so! Both my DSs did primary & junior in private schools. DS1 also did year 7-9. I am a teacher and I honestly don't think the teaching is any better. You get good teachers and bad teachers. You are basically paying for smaller class sizes and nicer surroundings/better facilities. It is not worth stretching yourself for. Our oldest is in Y11 at an academy now that specialises in an area that he is interested in. He couldn't be happier. Instead of paying approx. £55 a DAY for him to go to a private school we are paying £50 a week for two private tutors to come and address his weak areas. I am sure he gets a lot more from this targeted help and I think he would still need this help even if he was in a private school.

Lady - the issue is more academic than confidence. But thanks for the idea of a tutor, something I had considered in the past and perhaps will follow up with now.

Woowoo - thanks for your message. You are right, there isn't a direct answer. Researching is a good step although I feel quite disheartened I don't even know what I'd be looking for.

Have you actually been to look at any of your local private schools?

Some are truly excellent, but you won't know if yours is until you go and look.

Nostress - you've highlighted my fears over private and once again - the idea of a tutor is probably exactly what I need to look into.

Really appreciate all of your messages.

I moved my child from state to private as i was unhappy.

All i can say is that you have to start somewhere and so you should take a look at the schools you have available to you and if you are prepared for him to board a couple further away.
You should then get a feel to know whether the private schools can accommodate what you are looking for.

You should do this in respect of private tutors too.

The answer should eventually slap you in the face.

Good luck.

thanks scaevola and meboo.

Meboo, do you mind me asking if you have found the move beneficial and if so, what has the difference in your child's education been?

Sweet - you're welcome! A little advice from somebody who has a lot of experience in tutoring: research, meet with them, try them out, and don't assume that the most expensive or qualified will be the best fit for your son. You may have to try a few before finding the right one, and no good, professional tutor will be offended if you've all done your best but the dynamic isn't right.

There are many great tutors with teaching qualifications, and also many who are too busy to devote much time to their "sideline" work. There are also many (like me) who are very experienced and highly qualified in their subjects, who are great at what they do despite not having teaching qualifications. Most of us are better with some age groups and types of students than others, and the good ones will acknowledge that sometimes a good tutor and a willing student still won't be a great fit.

My idea of "best practice" is this:
Before the first session I'll make sure that I'm familiar with the student's needs and well prepared - I hate it when the first session is just "getting to know you" filler, or made up on the fly. I'll then start the first session by sitting down with parent and student to draw up a set of targets and expectations which we all agree to stick to, and set a date for reviewing it. (I know it sounds a bit OTT, but I've found that it really helps to start things off in a committed and mutually respectful mindset.) I'll also encourage parents to sit in on the entire first session, ask students afterwards if there is anything they would like us to do differently next time, and encourage them to get in touch if they have any problems with their homework. I'll also give regular progress updates and make recommendations for appropriate study materials, and be very open to trying new ways of working if any of us have concerns.

I know other tutors who do things differently, but most of the good ones I've known will provide some version of the above!

Yes.

Well we loved the DSes private school. I guess it depends where you live, and what your options are.

(I am not a teacher, just a parent)

I moved my DD to a private school after issues with local state primary school. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I think the teachers were better than those in her state school, but suspect this is partly that the teachers in that particular state school weren't great, rather than a reflection on all state school teachers. I think the benefits are related to smaller class sizes, and thus more time spent with each child, better facilities and also a greater willingness to engage with parents.

I researched and visited all the local private schools, and any state ones (only 1 other) that I could consider transferring to. I looked at inspectors reports, spoke to parents who sent their children to the school where possible and visited in person, then made my decision. I'd advise you to do some research, and visit any schools you are considering- you do get a good "feel" for the schools, their ethos and atmosphere etc, and whether you think this would suit your child.

I didn't really consider tutors, as DD was still quite little to be doing extra on top of school work/homework. I thought it would be more beneficial to get the school right, rather than try to "top up" her education with tutors, which would eat into her free time, which I feel should be for fun, play and winding down. I would agree this is less of a problem with older children, although I would personally still rather find the right school (state or private) where I didn't need to add in lots of extra tuition, on top of schoolwork and homework, which eats into their free time. As I said, personal opinion only on that one.

As for what's right for you? Well, depends on how much it would stretch you financially (remember you can apply for bursaries/scholarships to reduce costs) and what sacrifices you'd have to make, as well as whether you can find a school you are happy with. Only you can answer those questions.

DS1 was in a state infant and now at a private junior. Academically he has been stretched how I think he should, he has actually gone up a whole NC level in one subject in the first term there.

I agree that you need to look at the schools as it doesn't mean they are necessarily better. Our primary schools according to Ofsted are pretty good but even our fairly modest private school seems so much better (they will always be something not perfect of course)

If we couldn't afford private we would have looked for tutors from secondary but not primary but I agree with Worried3 that I think it might be too much on top of school.

IMO it would depend on the private school - if it is an excellent private and offers things that the state you're unhappy with doesn't then yes it is worth it.

If it isn't a particularly good private school then its a waste of money.

My DD is at one of the top ranked preps in the country and we are beyond delighted at what she receives and in that regard the state sector cannot compare