To not want to justify DLA for dd.

[hickorychicken]

Im not pleased, dp just came back from his parents and was having to justify to his mum and brother why we claim DLA for dd (severe autism)!
They were saying why should we get more money for dd...
I am under no illusion that our lives will get easier with the extra help but i feel like they are judging us!
dd's DLA is spent on her nursery as we feel she needs the sessions we pay for (this was coming out of wages before, and skinting us) and things like extra laundry, nappies for her size, extra bills we run up etc but its made me feel like shit, we shouldnt have to be doing this surely, especially for her family!
Who coincedently still think theres nothing wrong with dd, although will not and never have babysit (although they offer with dd2).
Im just pissed off.

Hickory have you ever heard of family fund

www.familyfund.org.uk/

I have not used them myself but was told about them. They can help with funding.

A sensory room or area may be a good idea.

DLA is there for all children with addition needs i hate when people question why children get it OP please ignore these ignorant people tell them to fuck off mind their own business some folk seem to think being disabled means you need to lie flat and not be able to move

additional*

I work with people who look completely well but are so not.
I have heard of family fund forty but i am reluctant to use them as i think we get enough now and can do a sensory room ourselves, ty though.
They dont see that me and dp worry oursrlves sick regarding dd. Her future is so uncertain. Im rather looking forward to friday Dp said he didnt shoot them down today as he doesnt want to get into a row and say things that cant be taken back. I am not so bothered, if they can make me feel like this they deserve the repercusions.

I got DLA for DS, the higher rate too. I would rather have had a heathy child who didn't require DLA.

My MIL had a funny attitude to DS; she is a real perfectionist with very exacting standards. I think she had great difficulty accepting he was not "perfect" & had a bit of denial going on.

Could your PIL have difficulty accepting their GC is not "perfect"?

I hope not cheese because to us, dd is perfect. Now that would break my heart.

I agree with you - in my eyes, my DS is the best boy on earth. I am so lucky to have him. MIL's attitude makes me very angry

I dont care tbh now im not so angry, dd is the cutest, funniest brightest child in the world and they miss out so much! It makes me so angry when they offer to have dd2 but never dd1 and when weve asked in the past recoiled in horror!!

We get DLA for dd. I rarely tell anyone as she has a fairly hidden condition and I hate the scepticism. The idea that the state would give you DLA without checking out the situation first is laughable. The form took me hours, along with letters from all the hcp involved in her care.

We use the money for respite for her sibling, ourselves and for some of the extra things she needs. Nothing will ever compensate her or us for the worry, reduced quality of life and level of care needed. Justify yourself to no one.