AIBU to think that there is really no male equivalent to the female mistress

[winterchunderland]

I really don't understand why a woman would become a mistress but leaving that aside AIBU to think that there really is not a male equivalent?

The male equivalent is 'the other guy she's seeing'.

I suppose he was known as a 'lover' in days of yore but, whether yesterday, today or tomorrow, he's the equivalent of the mistress.

Manstress. Strangely apt.

A cuckold is the dh of an unfaithful wife.

I don't think mistress is used that much these days, it tends to be other woman/other man

A "fancy man" would be the word for a male mistress round here. It's pretty old fashioned, though.

You seem to need to change your name OldLady the man/H being cheated on is the cuckold.

It's rather old-fashioned, but maybe gigolo?

Erm, a gigolo is a paid companion...

In concept, yes, definitely.

Nice to see the French President honouring the old Parisian tradition of cinq a sept

OldLadyKnowsNothing

Erm, a gigolo is a paid companion...

As are quite a lot of mistresses.

From the way the OP phrased the post I took it to mean something like the long term mistress that it appears is traditional for French presidents to have. I didn't mean the male equivalent of the OW.

If you think that these types of mistresses are not receiving any sort of monetary benefit then I would suggest that you are mistaken.

Gigolo has a number of related or overlapping meanings, but I would suggest that certainly one of them is the male equivalent of a mistress. Being supported by an older, more wealthy, member of the opposite sex in return for...

Haven you seen 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'? The male lead is a kept man :)

The only word I know is sancho, Spanish slang for the 'other man'.

Doesn't Tilda Swinton call the other man her companion or something.

OldLadyKnowsNothing I'd use the phrase fancy man too

'Himbo'

'Illegal shag pal' was used by my friend once when referring to her mothers affair 30 years previously. We howled laughing.

Eh I thought a cuckold was a married couple who occasionally invited a third person to join them?

Where I'm from he'd be called a "Fancy Man"

"Saw that Maureen up the club with her Fancy Man."

I suppose women have always had affairs but I don't think there is an equivalent in a male sense.

This is a generalisation and of course there are exceptions but I don't think there as many men sitting around waiting for their married female lover to leave their husband as there are women sitting around waiting for their married male lover to leave their wife.

Yes it is true that these men are happy to have the illicit sex but I'm not sure the emotional involvement is there as it is with women.

You rarely see problem pages featuring men saying, 'I'm having an affair with a married woman and she keeps telling me she'll leave her husband but hasn't', do you?

Two interesting points here

Do you mean there isn't a WORD?

Or do you mean that traditionally the role of "mistress" has been different to the role of "man who is shagging a married woman" because of women's dependency on men for their financial and social status?

Perhaps there isn't a word because there is no equivalent?

I don't think there is an equivalent; men aren't usually dependent upon a woman for financial/social status, they may have fun with a married woman, but do they sit at home with a glass of Chardonnay listening to Adele, pining and wondering what his married female lover is doing with her husband? No, they don't.

There's no word because there is no need of such a word.

Maureen and Oldlady - as soon as i saw the title i thought "fancy man"! Its the sort of thing my gran would have said with an eye roll and a sneer at the disgrace of it all.

Love 'himbo'.