expect my son to clean his room!

[missmagnum22]

I'm sorry I had to come somewhere and let off steam! I have a 17yr old and its a constant battle to get him to have any self respect for his appearance or his bedroom. I suffer with fibromyalgia, and live with immense pain every day, I struggle to keep my little flat clean aswell as cope with bringing him up properly. I simply can't do it anymore. The stench coming from his room is disgusting, tonigjts arguement was about stripping his he'd so I can wash the sheets, I just want to leave, when I'm stressed it agrevates my illness, I'm tired, teary, and don't have the enegy to deal with the constant nagging, he thinks I'm on at him all the time, but as far as I see it, if he just did it, when I ask, I wouldn't have to keep going on. I went in his room when he went out and there's rubbish all over the place I just was to put his belongings on the yard and burn the lot. Please tell me if I'm doing something wrong, I've even tried not doing it, I've hidden the cutlery etc because it all ends up in there, but I'm just punishing myself!

YANBU but...I have an 18 yr old who is equally disgusting (although an otherwise decent human being). I (mostly) refuse to get worked up about it anymore. I just shut the door & try to ignore it. I refuse to go hunting for dirty washing & he's not allowed food in his room (although I frequently find all the forks & teaspoons find their way in there!). It's incredibly annoying but there are much worse things he could be doing. Open the window if it smells, close the door & relax in your own clean & tidy room!

I'm glad I'm not alone lol. Your right of course, about ignoring it. Isn't it difficult though! The smell emminates through the flat, I find it embarrassing, but I think from tomorrow I shall stop his washing, he needs some home economics lessons! And mummy will Be alittle more mean! Thankyou x

I agree with chuck, this is one of the things that you have to lighten up with. If he wants to live in a shit hole - let him. Save the arguments and 'nagging' for things that really matter.

Lack of personal hygiene in a 17 yr old is normal and a phase. I work with 16-18 yr olds and quite a lot of them stink!

BTW my DS is 20 and he has left that phase behind, mostly

His bedroom is still a tip though .

Mine is 21, it's getting better, but very slowly. I close the door and open the window too. If he wants laundry doing, he puts it in the washing machine etc. I just nag him when it gets impossible to walk to the window, otherwise just keep the door closed.

Give him a list of the minimum tasks you require to be done at least on a weekly basis- bedding changed, dirty clothes washed, cups etc washed and returned, rubbish disposed of. Explain that there are some minimum hygiene standards for his and your health and that you will not tolerate a smell. Make it clear that you expect him to do it himself, it's not a favour to you, it's a requirement of adult living. Don't get into battles about him having to xyz 'now this minute' but lay down some ground rules.

If he doesn't comply, give him a day's warning then publish photos of his room on facebook!