To stop breast feeding. DD 20 months, doesn't want me to stop

[hooochycoo]

DD is my second baby. I've fed her up till now ( 20 months). My DS self weaned at 16 months. I don't enjoy feeding a toddler. She bites and pinches regardless of how I handle it. I also don't enjoy the way she demands being fed, and gets obsessed with my boobs, won't just sit on my knee or have a cuddle or read a book without whining and trying to feed.
I've recently had to go away for five days. She hasn't fed the whole time I've been away obviously. I've been back a day and managed not to feed her. But she's heartbroken. Saying milk milk, crying, trying to undress me. I don't want to feed her anymore, I don't want to be feeding a two year old. But equally I feel so sad. She's my baby, my last baby. She wants me. I have milk for her. Feels weird. I feel sooo guilty.

I stopped at 20 months (DS was down to once a day by then, had been for months, and self-weaned when he slept away at his grandmother's for one night). I was so ready to stop, as I found breastfeeding, though rewarding and very lovely, completely exhausting.

Have you thought to do the 'don't offer don't refuse' method and hope she will ask less and less.

Mine will be 2 years old in 2 weeks and I will do it like that from then... Although knowing her she will keep asking for quite a while as she is a bit of a booby monster and I don't know how to get her to sleep without it...

and i have to admit it's funny when she said loudly in front of a bus load of people "booby out"

but she can give me a cuddle when she wants and it's not all about milk although somedays i do feel i am just a pair of breasts...

I made it to 15/16 months with DS. At that point I was fed up with him 'assuming the milk position' whenever I held him and just wanted to be able to cuddle and read to him without him pestering for milk. I decided to stop when I had both dp and his mum available for a few days to distract him (and offer support when I wavered).

I did love feeding him but I think the time had come for it to stop. He was eating like a rugby player and drinking out of a cup perfectly happily by then. Another important point for me was him having most of his teeth so we had gotten over most of the teething.

she's the child and she doesn't get to make the decisions. She will probably complain about going to school too...

if you've had enough, that's it. Time to, er, wean her off it.

If you want to stop just stop. It's one of the (many) things that will get worse before it gets better so you have to cuddle her and put up with a few days of tears, but I am sure she will be fine in 3-4 days.

If you are looking for other solutions, I gave uo on "don't offer, don't refuse" with my DD when she was 2yo as she just asked all the time! We did go through a rough-ish adjustment period and I cut down gradually (because she bfed a lot at night) but now she bfs to sleep and first thing in the morning which we are both happy with. At her age she may have some ability to understand a simple rule like "bf is for bed" and you can limit bf to a specific place (bed worked for us but it could be anywhere).

Children can still make decisions. since i started giving my daughter some choice i have had much fewer tantrums.

and choices aren't " do you want to clean your teeth or not" they are between what to to wear or "do you want to clean your teeth or shall mummy/daddy do it" - so the wearing clothes and cleaning teeth parts aren't optional, but what clothes and who cleans the teeth are choices...

and about school the decision is "do you want to walk to school or shall we put you in the pram?"

No advice, just . Am in the same place with 17mo DD, I totally understand the wanting to stop but not wanting to.

I disagree that it's just for comfort. There are still health benefits.

Thanks all. That's now one and a half days I haven't fed her for. I told her milk had finished and she said a big "bye bye" to my boobs this morning. I keep cuddling her and I'm wearing her in a sling lots.

I've been trying don't offer don't refuse, but after months she asks lots. I love breast feeding, but I've had enough. Although the thought of never doing it again makes me incredibly sad.

Thinking about it, we dropped to "before bedtime and in the mornings only" once they all turned two. Took a week or so but they got the message, and there was a LOT less pestering during the day, but we still had the breastfeeding cuddles at night. When they're sleepy they fiddle less too.

I could have written your post! My dd self weaned at around 13 months but DS was having none of it! 20 months I finally weaned him by going cold turkey.
That was 2 months ago. It took a xouple of weeks or so for him to stop harassing me but I just stood firm. He now just pulls at my top and says boobies gone (an accurate description actually they have been decimated

He is still weirdly obsessed with my boobs..always sticking his hand down my top but I live in a hot country so they are more on view! Stick a polo neck on and you'll be ok!

Could you try cutting down instead of stopping? I didn't enjoy feeding DS2 pretty much the whole way through (it felt completely different from feeding DS1), but he absolutely loved it. We compromised (can't remember what age, probably around 2) on a quick feed in bed in the morning, but not at other times, unless he was really upset about something. It took a while to stop him sticking his hand down my top all the time, but we got there with persistent reminders. He was 4 when he finally stopped feeding (or at least, when he finally admitted that he wasn't getting any milk out, and I put an end to him trying!).

It's fairly normal to feel a bit depressed for a few weeks after stoping bf, it's your hormones changing all over, so hang in there it will get better.

There does come a time when you've had enough, and the child is never as distraught as you think they will be if plenty of cuddles are given.

Better to look back on bfing with happy memories than to struggle on feeling more resentful every day