To struggle to know if I love my dh : (

[sugar4eva]

Been with dh long time . Two dc. Both care for aach other . Married young . I have changed ; needed security , someone to listen. He broke my trust once and since then never felt same tho I have forgiven him and now trust him its marked me somehow. He is a kind quiet man who shares little. He is introverted but can be funny .i think we have grown apart . I don't look forward to him comming home; I don't miss him if he is away. I don't mean to be awful it's just the truth. When we go out I enjoy his company . I feel I would like him to share more but with hectic job and his natural internal nature I don't think that will happen ; in fact he has tried to be more out there as he knows it s an issue but he just changes back a d is it fair to ask someone to change, I guess not.
So here I am he is sad I am sad ; I care for him but I just don't know if its enough. We have two d. C and it would mean a life of financial difficulty splitting up as there is no way I can get additional hours at work due to cutbacks. I have tried and tried to be posititive. We went to counselling two years ago and it really helped for a while as we re discovered each other ; but you can't have a councelller move in with you to keep it going. We are just like pals that care for our lovely d c s:(

Cog ; all I can say is that he did something that he promised he would not do. I was devestated but had a 6 week old baby that did not sleep and I had to put it on hold. ..his explanation was that he was in a bad place and knows that it was wrong. I would have left at the time but I'd given up work and had no were to go plus I had a new baby . Since then I have tried to think we all make mistakes .

Betty :,yes think he may be depressed. It just that we tried so hard and then due to the lossess which involved a lot of time away when my relatives were very ill I wasn't at home a lot to work on things and he and I reverted to old patterns.

Cog :,you hit bail on head when you said dragg s down not enhances relationship ; do feel dragged down.
I think he meant what he said in councelling but after trying reverted back .
Adeleh:,you said you see lot positives in our relationship; what do you see please?

Thankyou for all your advice . Dh has taken self to bed and I'm watch tv with wine so there will be no discussion tonight / time out

Being let down the way you describe, if it meant sacrifices on your part and for it to be bad enough for you to have contemplated leaving, that was a lot more than a simple mistake. If all that kept you there at the time was that you were financially dependent on him and vulnerable as the mother of a new baby then I'm sure you've wondered every day since 'was it worth it?' A decent man wouldn't have to 'try' to be decent or need repeated counselling to be decent. In short, this is as good as he gets.

You care for each other. You both want to make it work. You were able to rediscover each other before when things had been bad. And ou describe ourselves as being like pals. I think it's much mor hopeful that the spark will come back between people who have genuine affection and concern for each other. You enjoy his company still. Looks to me as if there's a lot to fight for. Good luck xx

Thankyou x