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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to smash his van into pieces and then pay for it?

23 replies

Mordirig · 13/01/2014 11:29

Some utter Fuck nearly ran my children over this morning, I dropped my child off and then found this van, took pictures of it and reported it.
He denied what he had done, he didn't look sorry.

I want to wait for him to park there again and smash his fucking windows in.
I am quite able to pay the monetary price.
I am quite prepared to have a caution or whatever from the police.
Would I go to prison? what is the most likely thing that would happen.

I am really quite serious, but I am also still extremely angry and this Is clouding my judgment.

But I really want to do it.

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/01/2014 11:34

If you've reported it, the community police will probably follow up. Getting angry solves nothing.

ComposHat · 13/01/2014 11:34

Calm the fuck down.

Smashing someone's windows will help how?

Unless this driver mountrd the curb and drove directly at your kids your reaction is grossly disproportionate. If this is rhe case, involve the Police.

Anniemousse · 13/01/2014 11:37

You've had a real shock. You are not thinking straight.
You have reported it, you've done the right thing.
Do whatever you need to do to calm down.
Find a real life person to talk to.

Original poster

Mordirig · 13/01/2014 11:38

How do I stop being angry then?

He came out of the opposite lane to avoid a red light, and into the lane I was crossing to get to the car park behind us.
He didn't even beep or slow down.

I don't trust myself to go out today.
I am a white ball of seething rage atm.

OP posts:

Original poster

Mordirig · 13/01/2014 11:40

I don't want to scare my RL people with how angry I am.

I know I sound deranged but I can't stop this urge to want to hurt him.

TBH smashing his van up is the most tame thing running through my head.

OP posts:

formerbabe · 13/01/2014 11:40

I don't blame you for how you are feeling.

Take down his number and call the non emergency number.

halfwildlingwoman · 13/01/2014 11:51

My DS was nearly hit by a totally fucking stupid woman reversing way too fast over a dropped kerb, while surrounded by small children on the road outside the primary school. Me and DD stopped in time but he carried on and was missed by centimetres. I can feel my heart racing just thinking about it. I shouted STOP and then shouted at DS to stay where he was. She looked out of the side window - no sign of apology or acknowledgement - I don't actually think she'd seen DS, the car was so fucking huge - at me and I swear I HAD to look away else I'd have gone fucking beserk. When I had his hand safe in mine again I gave DS a talk about watching out for cars and continuing walking to school. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe and nearly collapsed on the pavement.
My point being, you are in shock. It will pass.

TheFuzz · 13/01/2014 13:35

Best thing you can do is report it. The Police will log the incident on the vehicle record as intelligence, and they can expect a call if there are a number of reports against the driver.

You also have to calm down ! Drivers make lots of mistakes, and often don't look. It's no excuse, but we all have to share the roads. Smashing the vehicle up will get you a criminal record.

Original poster

Mordirig · 13/01/2014 14:43

Did you not read where he went into the opposite lane before a junction? It wasn't simply not looking he went into the opposite lane of traffic!
He could have just as easily killed himself if the lights opposite changed as he was driving against traffic.

OP posts:

Avalon · 13/01/2014 14:46

How about printing out the photo and ripping it into tiny pieces instead?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/01/2014 14:47

So he's a jerk and probably guilty of careless or even reckless driving. But if you've reported him to the police, then what happens next is in their hands. Have they been in touch? Have you made any follow up phone calls asking what they've done? It's OK to be angry but channel it usefully rather than just shaking your fist into the air...

LtEveDallas · 13/01/2014 14:54

You are in shock. Shock isn't always the shakey, weepy, collapsing reaction we always think it is. Shock can be extremes of any emotion.

I get it. I get that you are FURIOUS. I would be too - I'd be ranting and raging and threatening to kill. But it is shock and its not good for you.

You need to calm down, to slow your breathing and your heartbeat. To lower your adrenalin levels.

Sounds trite, but make a cup of tea. FORCE yourself to sit down and try to think of something else. Look at the photos on your phone, or pick up a magazine. You need to calm yourself.

Let the police deal with it. Your kids need you 'normal'. Getting into trouble and everything associated with it (Anger Management counselling, SS involvement for example) won't do any of you any good.

Take care

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/01/2014 14:55

An elderly woman once mounted the curb at DD and I while she was in her pram. I am very rarely filled with violent rage but that was one time. I didn't boot in her lights while shouting obscenities. I felt like it. Breathe deep, hug your kids and move on.

Original poster

Mordirig · 13/01/2014 15:05

I have calmed a bit, but I had to pick up DS earlier from school as I couldn't relax with him elsewhere.
We are choosing the decoration for his bedroom and drinking hot chocolate.

Sorry, I just felt like I was going to explode, I probably did a bit to be fair.
Is it normal to keep getting waves of nausea? I've got a horrible headache as well.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/01/2014 15:15

You got got a massive dose of adrenaline and other nasty stuff. Shaky, headache, tired and sick (and horrible guilt actually) are all normal. It will take you about 24 hours to get that crap out of your system so don't make any decisions or do anything hard for a day.

LtEveDallas · 13/01/2014 15:16

It's shock mate, honestly. If affects different people in different ways. It's quite understandable.

Enjoy the chocolate

greenfolder · 13/01/2014 15:28

violent rage normal.

might not be the drivers van thinking about it.

BubaMarra · 13/01/2014 15:45

Once I witnessed a horrible accident where a car hit a pedestrian. It was happening literally before my eyes. I instantly had an urge to vomit, even before my brain fully processed what had just happened. It's stress and shock, adrenalin and cortisol.

Whatnamenext · 13/01/2014 15:48

I understand this.

I was on a bike with DD on her bike in front. Long story short a driver came from behind and cut us up. Could have been killed

He didn't give a shit.

It was horrid but I refused to waste any energy on being angry. It would hurt me more than him.

Dickhead.

magnumicelolly · 13/01/2014 15:51

Any chance there are cameras recording in that area?

Curlyweasel · 13/01/2014 15:54

that's a rubbish poem... oh... x

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 13/01/2014 15:56

Most traffic lights have camera, phone lol with the location and time and hopefully they will have video evidence.

I can understand your reaction though, but a night in the cells and a criminal charge of criminal damage is not the answer. He also may get compo for loss of earnings.

SolidGoldBrass · 13/01/2014 15:59

I'm glad you have calmed down, but if you find this sort of disproportionate rage a reaction you have frequently then I would advise you to seek help. There was a rather worrying streak of vigilantism in your early posts, which is not good for anyone.

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