Re 'date night' with DH

[HellsGranny]

DH and I haven't been out together without the kids for well over 6 months, it's become a huge issue for me. We're having problems & seeing Relate so it's really important for us to spend time together.

Anyway, DH's idea of a perfect date night is a trip to the cinema but to me that's 2 hours sitting in a dark room not interacting. My idea of a date night is a meal or drink out where we sit and chat & enjoy each other's company.

I know neither of us is being unreasonable and I'm sure we'll find a compromise but I just wondered what others though.

Op is after advice

We do nights at home with dvds, food etc when we have nights without kids we do the travelodge/premier inn deals for sex, go out with our friends and get drunk or out for dinner. Wouldnt bother with cinema as you can watch stuff at home.

I'd far rather go and see a decent film.

lol - nope, Travelodge would be (and often is) our first choice too

YANBU but how about agreeing to the cinema as long as you get to choose the film?

I agree fluffy raggies the deals are great. Not as good as when they were doing the 9 quid nights though, and then me and dh would do that with bottle of vodka and some music. I dont think we are as classy as most on here though. Oh well its a laugh

If its money / babysitting issues stopping you getting out you could have a carpet picnic? Lots of yummy snack foods like dips, cold seafood / meat, cheese and bread, salads etc with a bottle of wine sitting on the carpet chatting and cuddling. Dh and I did this a lot when our boys were small and it really helped us to remember we were a couple too and not just mum and dad. Often ended with a bloody good shag too!

But I agree with those who say perhaps something less intense like cinema would be a good starting point but perhaps you could come back to this?

I'm loving fish and chips in front of the sea listening to the radio though....

Can you park a little way from the cinema and walk at least some of the way. 20 minutes walk each way is a reasonable time to talk.
We don't go out very often, and a meal would be our usual choice - cinema is only an option if there is a film on that we both REALLY want to see on a large screen. In your shoes, I'd be tempted to let him choose this time, and make small steps towards where you want to be.

We also used to play board games and stuff like that, at home, rather than sorting out babysitters, spending money we didn't have. Anything rather than spending all evening glued to the tv.

I've just remembered when our last night out was, last year when we went to see Oblivion at the cinema, so technically it's my 'turn' to choose

Another thing is, I do all the cooking so it's a treat for me to go out for a meal so I don't have to.

I get what you're all saying about a less intense evening. But DH wants to see 12 years a slave which looks a bit heavy going (it looks brilliant but I'd prefer something a bit more light hearted).

And (I know I sound like I'm just finding excuses now ) but I get home from work at 6:30, I then have to go for a weigh in (slimming world) if we then go straight to the cinema when do we eat? I get very grumpy when I'm hungry.

Can you go for a walk after the film? To do the quality time/talking bit? It is a bit cold at the moment so this is easier in summer but if your cinema is inside a shopping centre or something?

Go to a different slimming world group this week. Eat, drink and cinema.

Can't you have a larger meal at lunchtime so you'll only need a light tea? Sandwich to eat in the car on the way to the cinema?

Yes you are making excuses aren't you...