To ask for a c-section?

[Rigbyroo]

Any advice greatly appreciated. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and really do not know what to do. I had a terrible, extremely long labour with dc1 ending in forceps theatre delivery and a third degree tear. My latent phase and second stage lasted an age and I don't feel like I can do it again. I felt like a total failure and I cannot mentally feel that way again. What are the chances of me getting an elective c-section without stress? Please help and give your c-section or second birth stories! Thank you.

Wow, thanks so much for responses, you've already given me more knowledge and confidence to go to appointment stronger. Thank you. Lovely to hear your stories and I'm sorry so many of you had difficult births too.

Do you think anyone will think I'm less of a mother for not doing it naturally?

If you give birth to a chair or baboon, perhaps.

Otherwise, by the wonder of modern medical advancement you've made a choice which is right for you and your baby.

It's the stuff that comes afterwards that REALLY matters! Good luck with your lovely adventure!

I had a third degree tear and was told that meant I would be offered a CS for any subsequent deliveries. So I don't think you should have any problems requesting one.

I'm currently 28 weeks and will go for my 6th appointment with a consultant this week. I've seen three junior doctors (none with any authority to approve a csection). First consultant said no, but did say I've 90% chance of getting elcs, second consultant who also said no, but again said it was more than likely I'd get elcs, and referred me back to original consultant who I see this week. I had a terrible first birth and consequently am unwilling to take the unknown risks again. I have researched the pros and cons and feel this is the right choice for me. Hopefully, this next appointment will finalise what has been said at the last two appointments. It does seem rather a waste of doctors time though.

Having had one child in the UK and one in the US, all the approval stuff for c-sections in the UK does strike me as a bit crazy now. Here (in the US) you can literally get your diary out and schedule your c-section around work/other commitments. Now, obviously the NHS is somewhat different, but given women are meant to be able to choose whether they have a c-section or not, why is there so much discussion/so many attempts to dissuade? Surely a woman should have the right to request a c-section (barring medical reasons which would make it unwise) and that be the end of it.
Yoni - here there would have been none of the to-ing and fro-ing you've experienced. I can't help thinking that the stress of not knowing in the meantime must be bad for both you and baby.

First labour 36 hours. Waters had gone, but labour didn't progress. In a tonne of pain getting no where, ended up with epidural and mammoth 2 hour plus pushing. So much vomiting was awful. Second time was so so different. Very quick labour, got to 10 cm without realising it, pushed baby out in 20 mins on gas and air. My body knew what to do, it was so much easier

If youre anything like me, once you have the thumbs up for as csection, you will relax and probably consider a vaginal birth with a more open mind. I think fear of being 'made' to face your birth fears again are making you panic a bit.

It's your right under the NICE guidelines to choose a CS. You don't need any special medical conditions....the drs will just need to make sure you understand the various risks with CS vs vaginal delivery (some risks are higher with CS, some are higher with vaginal delivery - my consultant said its pretty equal)

In my experience there was no resistance from the consultant at all. When I told the midwife I wanted a CS, she made me an appt with the consultant ( as is the procedure). I went expecting resistance, and Took a printout of the NICE rules, with the relevant parts highlighted. Almost literally he said 'you want a CS? Right ok. He explained the risks and then got the calendar out and offered me 2 dates.

In my experience, midwives will try to persuade you to go for Vaginal birth. I found a firm no thanks did the trick. If you can quote a few statistics from the NICE guidelines showing you've read them that also shuts them up pretty fast!

I was invited to a meeting with a senior midwife at the hospital. The aim was to ensure I really understood the pros and cons of my decision. I phoned her, said I understood the risks, had discussed them with the consultant and wouldn't be coming to see her (waste of my time, and I also told her i didn't appreciate getting the hard sell on vaginal birth from midwives). She wasn't thrilled, but wasn't rude or aggressive. She wrote me a quick letter just confirming we had discussed this and I was happy to go ahead, which was fine.

As for comments from friends/acquaintances, just smile sweetly and say you're too posh to push. This gives them nowhere to go with any snide comments.

The actual CS was a doodle. I was nervous but it was absolutely fine. Talking to many friends who had vaginal births almost all said it was horrific or at least pretty awful. I was going for tiny walks after 4 days and by 7 days walked up the road and back (500m?). Did 2 miles on the second week. However, I don't know how you would deal with a toddler (if you have one). Lifting them into highchairs etc would be pretty difficult in the early days.

It's your choice. My experience was extremely good. I would have one again in a flash.

Good luck!

Not read the whole thread, but go for it. Read the NICE and RCOG guidelines. Have you had any bowel problems after you gave birth? (You don;t have to tell us, if you don;t want to!). Because I think if you ever had any faecal incontinence, it's pretty much a slam-dunk for ELCS. If you are incontinent of wind, that would also work in your favour.

Best of luck.

living - I wish to fuck I'd been like you. I let myself be talked into the 'natural' birth route and gave birth to DD vaginally in September 2010. Three major operations later and I am still having trauma therapy and medical treatment. A second DC is out of the question . I applaud you for doing what I did not.

Awful 'natural' delivery with dc1, ending in forceps, major bruising to dc and prolapse for me. Traumatised for a long time. 3 years later (8weeks ago) i had dc2 by elcs and it was a truly fantastic, amazing experience. Totally relaxed, painfree and happy. Dc2 bfed straight away. My recovery was quick. Im so pleased i didnt listen to my midwifes advice....

I had an elective C Section and it was definitely the right decision for me.

The procedure itself was not scary - I felt no pain at any point and the staff were all lovely. I did skin to skin with my son on theatre and again in recovery , and also breast fed in recovery.

I was up walking that same night and had my cannula and catheter out the following morning.

I stayed in hospital for three nights to get breastfeeding established. The pain was well managed and not bad at all.

Once home I never had any problem lifting and caring for my son. He is now 11 weeks old and has been exclusively breast fed throughout. I took him to baby massage classes from a week old and was driving within three weeks of the op.

If you feel a C Section is the right decision for you then it is - trust your instinct and ignore anyone who tries to influence that. Once I had made the decision I was able to relax and look forward to meeting my son without the fear I had been feeling about a VD.

You will know in your gut what is right for you - trust that and ignore anyone trying to persuade you that it will be easier for you to have a VD second time around.

Good luck x

Cardamomginger your experience sounds awful and I am so sorry your still recovering from your birth. Its bloody awful... That was one of the reasons why I forced a elcs. My mum had 3 kids and cannot go 30 mins without needing the toilet and she is only In her 40's. I feel so sorry for all the ladies traumatic birth experiences that I have read and researched. I am also sorry you cannot have baby no2. We live and learn but im sure thAt means fuck all when you have suffered in the way you and many women hAve. Sorry for errors on phone.