To think that actually my job just isn't a "pocket money" job?

[DorisShutt]

I work for a lovely (mostly!) company who have let me work mainly from home since DS was born.

I work for the accounts department, and will (as of next year) be running the department. The company isn't huge, but it's not a one-man band either; there are about 100 employees and 6 locations throughout the country.

My time is spent on wages, budgeting, credit control etc; plus I'm currently involved in designing a new computer system for the company (I'm not the IT side, I'm the ideas side!) and I also support the marketing department.

The downside of the home working is that I'm never really "off duty" and within working hours I can be called at home/mobile for a variety of reasons; which I don't mind as my bosses are generally lovely and don't take the piss.

So, I'm not (as a so called "friend" has just commented on the dreaded Facebook to an innocuous comment of mine about needing a glass of wine after a tough week) just playing at working for "pocket money" to buy shoes with - am I? (The context of the comment, which I am not posting for fear of outing myself, made it clear this was not a joking comment).

I haven't responded, other than thinking ODFOD, but I'm now doubting myself...

I work mostly from home, in a skilled professional job like you, which needs a great deal of concentration. I also repay my bosses for being able to work from home (location means I don't have a great deal of choice, but still) by being flexible, getting stuff finished and sending it back and forth for comments on a Friday evening at 8pm, for example, or occasionally working a sizeable chunk of the weekend. I earn less than dh but would outearn him by a little if I were FT. IOW, I have a perfectly serious job and it sounds as if you do too. Ignore such comments.

Are you me OP?

Do you also get lots of last minute requests to pick others dc up after school and friends who drop round through the day- hear you say how busy you are - but stay for an hour anyway?

Make sure you buy lots of lovely shoes and when the same friend makes snippy remarks just tell them your pin money stretches reeeeeeeeally well

Thanks! Good to know I'm not being daft.

I think it's the fact that I "fell" into this job and have no formal training other than on the job variety, and the fact that I can take DS to groups and clubs that has narked this friend who is full time and on shifts.

Then again, she doesn't see me at midnight at the month end frantically trying to sort out the wages. I'm actually looking forward to DS going to school so I can get weekends back!

Cheeky mare! Course not. Mild troll there surely.

Pocket money to my mind means you have enough and your earnings are over above and beyond. As in you work for love. And of course your money would be your own to spend on LV (wish) or lipstick (more likely) with guilt or care.

More likely it helps you live. That ain't pocket money.

Maybe she thinks you work to buy the extras in life and is actually giving you a compliment OP?

Why is that such a negative?

Is she a real friend? If she isn't don't give her a second thought.

YANBU. What a rude comment!

Cheeky cow! Defriend? It's still a job even if you work from home.

Your 'friend' clearly has no idea what you do. You should tell her. She might be rather surprised and envious.

I work from home in a 'job I fell into' after 10 years of being SAHP and it isn't for pocket money either. There are a lot of really skilled people out there who employers are missing because they don't have the imagination to allow home working. It can work really well for both sides.

A 'friend' once commented that while my dp earns the 'bread and butter' my job must provide 'a little jam'. I earned more than him at the time! She was soon an ex friend. So should yours be.

I wouldn't dare say that about anyone's job, especially after they have said its been a tough week, that's really rude!

Ignore her. It really annoys me that some people seem to think that if you work from home you must be doing some sort of piddly little job. With the technology available these days most people don't have to go into the office. I don't work in the finance area of our Co but I know how stressed out they get at month and year end so don't blame you for wanting a glass of wine!

Without obvs not with

I'd probably post back saying "no woman, even me, needs that many shoes..." and then defriend.

(I know I would do the first bit, maybe the second - I'd be too keen to see the response!)

PS - YANBU, she is being catty, and is most likely jealous.

I did what you are doing now once. It was the hardest ever part of my home/working life and not one I would ever want to repeat.

No real friend would ever make a comment like that.

Real friends only care about you as a person, not what you do for a living.

You work hard for your family. Be proud of that.

Now de-friend the Jealous One (or, even better, leave FB! Far too much crap on there!)

Don't let it annoy you. I'm jealous of your work life balance and I don't even know you :).

If she is a friend, let it go. If she is working shifts, working full time she could be having a tough time as she never gets to do toddler groups ect. She probably is jealous and thinks she works harder. Be a little charitable it sounds like you have a good thing going that works for your family.

Oh, the joys...

I work Mon-Fri in an office, doing relatively mundane office work relating to accounts. However, weekends can be taken up by my other work - singing and playing in a touring band.

While my day-job took a bit of work to get up to speed with, the music is the harder work. I have to prep my voice, learn new songs, practice my instrument, buy breakables (as well as investing in instruments/amps/lighting etc), travel all over, load and unload "the van", and generally put on a bright, shiny demeanour, despite the fact that sometimes I'd quite like to be in bed with a cup of hot chocolate nursing my tired feet. However, I love it, and wouldn't trade it for the world, despite the workload and very clear extra expenses that it entails.

My low-impact office work is my "job", and my musical work is my "little weekend hobby", according to some. Sometimes it's so hard not to throttle the little f***s who decide that, because I like my weekend work, that it's not "real work".

My normal response once this goes too far, goes along the lines of "Listen, "mate", you spend your days following a script, calling people asking if they want to change their gas and electric. I get out there every weekend and stop people like you from holding their heads under the water a little too long!"

Subtle, I ain't.

Did another woman make this comment? Because it's a traditionally male misogynistic insult aimed at married working women who 'dare' to take up a job they don't 'need'. Do you ever hear of a man having a 'pocket money' job, no matter what his income or marital status, or the income of his significant other?

Revoltingly sneery, dismissive behaviour from the 'friend'. And also quite odd, given that your job sounds rather high-powered. Would it be less of a 'pocket-money job' if you went in to an office?

I work four days a week in a professional job and earn as much as/a little more than my husband. my mother constantly refers to it as my "little" job. very annoying.

I think your friend is jealous that you work from home in what may seem from the outside to be an ideal compromise.

Smile and wave, smile and wave. I have my own business and mostly work from home and have this quite a lot. Yes I'm lucky to go to all school events and did the school run everyday but I work hard the rest if the time. Phone calls on bank holidays and 10 at night because clients obviously thought it would be an answer machine, but no this is where I live also.

I must admit now to being excessively smug with anyone who say anything, with a reply of yes I know I only work two hours a week but my hourly rate is truly mind boggling.