to leave a 17 year old in sole charge of a 3.5 year old?

[InsanityandBeyond]

DD(17) is at college but does not go on a Monday. DS is not happy at his current nursery and I am thinking of moving him to the one down the road from me which is attached to the school he will be going to in September. He usually goes to nursery for a full day on a Monday as I am studying at my local Uni. The school nursery only offers 3 hours a day (the funded hours) and can only do afternoons so 12.30-3.30.

Therefore I am toying with DD having DS from 9.00, giving him lunch and walking him to nursery at 12.15 (a 5 min walk all on this side of the road, no major roads to cross), then collecting him at 3.30 and bringing him home. I will be home at about 5pm.

I will pay her £25.00 for the day (as the alternative is DH not working and losing over a £100 for that day) and she is very enthusiastic but I am not sure. She is quite immature, prone to tantrums and constantly on her phone attached to headphones. DS is a runner and quite a handful. Unbelievably she has never 'babysat' for him although I do leave her with my 11 year old twins if they refuse to come shopping with me she usually beats them up!

Am I over thinking this? Her friend of the same age has been left to babysit younger siblings over night before when her parents book a hotel for some 'alone' time (and have done so regularly for a few years now). I am jealous that they can do that as here I am panicking about DD babysitting for a few hours!

Ok I assume you are fairly new to motherhood and life in general so to he honest can't be bothered to respond. Good luck in your journeys but just remember life doesn't always go by the book so to speak,

OutRagedFromLeeds thanks for that chik,

If you had bothered to read my posts you would have have read that dds major injuries actually occurred during a risk assessed school trip, she nearly died so we actually don't need lectures from you. But thanks anyway my 4 kids are responsible and thankfully Dd3 is now almost fit again.

What happened to your DD on a school trip is not related to your decision to leave a baby with a 9 year old. Hopefully your 4 children are more responsible than you and wont leave their small babies with children babysitters.

Will your 17 year old be up and about at 9am?

Oh dear love!! Good luck in your journey through parenthood!

I really hope it doesn't bite your smug arse!

If you have to ask then you probably shouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to be away from my young child worrying about whether he/she was safe. Hope you can work it out.

Sorry got to ask you how old are your dcs?

Bodypopper,I think you'll find you're part of a minority of parents who believe it is responsible parenting to leave a 9 year old in sole charge of a small baby,so I wouldn't get too uppity with your justifications of it.The majority of responsible adults would find that reckless,I believe.

OP - most 17yo's would be fine, but I wouldn't leave your 17 yo DD in charge of a fly small child, no. (Based on what you have written on this thread).

Bodypopper leaving a nine year old with a baby is illegal. Yes their is no fixed age but they have to be old enough to be responsible or you wpd be charged with neglect.

Did you really leave a baby with a 9 year old?

They're old enough to know that a 9 year old can't take responsibility for another child.

My 3 month year old baby looks after the family pet hamster whilst the rest of the family go to Benidorm for two weeks.

Anybody who thinks 9 is old enough to look after a baby is totally unhinged....how would a nine yo deal with a banged head/ fall, choking or a massively shitty nappy. It's totally unfair to do that to another child, no matter how sensible they might be.

But OP, your babysitting 17 yo really doesn't sound suitable. Give her a trial day and make her prove it.

My 18 year old has looked after the 2 year old and 11 month old. Hes looked after the toddler for the day whilst I was in hospital, he was 17 at the time. Hes not so great with the 10 year old though!

My 10 year old is great with the baby, I imagen he would panic if something happened though banged head etc.

Totally irrisponsible to leave a 9 year old with a baby

I'm sorry but as a mother of 6, eldest being almost 19, youngest 2 and a half and a husband that works long unsociable hours there's no way any of my older ones would be left in charge of a baby that young. Take them all with you or don't go somewhere, incredibly irresponsible.

T 9 yrs old I meant obviously

In theory there is, of course no reason why a 17 year old couldn't do this. I looked after my sisters, including my youngest who was a toddler and has Downs frequently from the age of 14. That was built up gradually over a period of time and I was remarkably responsible and precocious. I wasn't ever paid however, which was very annoying when I was expected to give up paid babysitting gigs to do it.
Leaving a 9 year old in charge of a baby for an hour is acceptable in an emergency. Every week? Incredibly risky and deeply unfair to the 9 year old.
FWIW, I don't intend to make my eldest child responsible for my youngest. I want them to be friends and allies, I don't want DS to feel responsible for DD, I want his responsibilities to be more general, as he didn't choose to have a baby sister.

Presumably your DD has college work that she is supposed to be doing on the day she isn't in for lessons?

could she take ds in his pushchair?

My DSD has been babysitting for us (6 hours every other Saturday if both DH and I are working) since turning 15. I trust her to the ends of the earth with them - more than my own parents TBH, she's the only person I am genuinely happy to leave my DCs (4/6) with.

Totally depends on the children and teens involved though. DSD has her head screwed on right :o and the worst that happens is a bit of extra mess when I get home. :)

I have almost similar circumstances and would not do this. Have left 17 YO with other 3 younger sibs but not my bolting youngest. Too much responsibility as you need to be on the ball 100 percent if have one who will dash out in road etc and no sense of danger.

You can't leave a 9 year old in charge of a 7 month old. And it can't be for a max of 30 minutes if the swimming pool is a couple of miles away - more like 1.5 hours by the time you drive there, kids get changed, half hour lesson, get changed again and drive home. Far too much responsibility for a 9 year old unless the baby is left in a play pen or cot which could be distressing. It's irresponsible yet you're so belligerently condescending to whoever has pointed this out to you.

It totally depends on the 17yo. My cousin has got 2 dd's; the youngest is 17 and the oldest is 19 and I have left ds with the youngest since she was 15 as she's very on the ball and mature. However, I wouldn't leave him with the 19yo now, as she's in lala land most of the time and probably wouldn't notice if he was there or not! At 17, I was regularly looking after kids but I was mature for my age.