To worry about competitiveness between brothers...

[LittleMilla]

I know I am, but I just need some people to tell me that it's going to be OK.

DS1 is 2.7, cruised along the 50th percentile for weight but is short. As in 25th percintile - the estimated height thingy puts him at 5ft 7. I know that a lot can change, but we've got some short genes in the family and I think he's going to head that way.

DS2 is just 6 mo but is already wearing the same clothes DS1 was in at 9mo. He's on the 91st percentile for his weight and I suspect that he's going to be a much bigger boy than his brother.

My DH is already getting his knickers in a twist that DS1 is going to be jealous of his younger brother as he'll be "the taller one". So silly I know...but I have no idea what boys are like when older. DO they get competitive over stuff like this?

I'd like to think neither will give a shit. I am not competitive BTW, but my DH is. ANd I am very conscious of him making this in to something so always tell him to shut up. But I am a tad concerned.

They will be what they will be really. The predictor thing is rubbish anyway. My niece was predicted to be about 6 feet tall and at 22 she is only about 5'6''!

My DD1 (21) is about 5'5'' and curvy. DD2 (16) is about 5'8" and like a beanpole. Both are happy with their own height and build. No competition at all as they are completely different and very individual girls.

I think you are worrying too soon!

From what I know about siblings, they usually compete with things that they can affect themselves with effort, rather than the things that they have no control over.

Don't worry about things that might happen in the future, you can't do anything to change the height of either of your DS, but you can bring them up to respect each other and not want to hurt each other's feelings.

If one envies two's height, two will envy one's bike, footballing prowess, girlfriend, facial hair, wit, job... Or whatever. If you and your husband fixate on one arbitrary characteristic, they'll both learn that that's what's important. Try to forget about it.

They height charts are rubbish!! My ds1 was always taller than ds2 even though ds2 was heavier and longer at birth, now ds2 towers his brother!
If there going to be competitive it will probably be about sport or a computer game

From my DH's family experience, I would say that parent(s) do have a lot of influence over whether or not siblings are especially competitive. My MIL is (still, even now they are their 30s!) very much one for saying, 'Well, DS1 did this but then DS2 did the other' (or vice versa). She dressed them the same (there is 18 mths between them) and they were encouraged to do all the same activities. This meant my DH always saw his elder brother doing the same thing he was trying hard to master, only that little bit better as he always had a head start on him. The only difference was that they played different musical instruments and even these were both brass and they played in the same orchestras and so on. Their younger sister was later included in all this, although to a much lesser degree.
MIL has already said that she expects my two DDs will 'get cattier' with each other as they get older in terms of competitiveness and jealousy. I said I sincerely hoped not!

My DH's family are SO competitive and sporty that it's already being decided which sports they play/position etc.

I'm worrying over nothing I know. Thanks for replies x