to be a bit miffed with dh

[Cat98]

We have an ongoing thing where dh is sometimes late home from work - fine - but he often doesn't tell me until its too late with regards to making dinner (we try and eat together as a family).

He usually leaves work at 6pm. I had a text at 10 past saying he'd be a bit late (dinner was already on). I then had a call at 6:15 saying he'd be done in 20 mins and he'd let me know when he's leaving. I've heard nothing - aibu to be a bit miffed he hasn't let me know earlier and he hasn't said he will be later than he told me? his dinner will probably be spoiled which is a waste. I don't mind that he's late -obviously, it's work - I'd just like more notice, and if he doesn't know when he will be done just SAY I don't know when I'll be done! Don't give me a time and then not stick to it and not contact me!

cancel that. he's just called me :)

It's an ongoing issue with me and my hubby too. We were supposed to eat at 6:30 as that's as late as our DD would manage and we all like to eat together.

He knew that and was supposed to ring as soon as he knew he wouldn't make it as DD and I prefer to eat nearer to 5pm.

I'd get phone calls at 6:50 to say he was still in London (70 miles away!) and for us to go ahead . He'd make excuses but a text template can be sent in less than 3 seconds. Mind you, a lot of his work is in basements so that's no always possible.

Now, me, him and DD all have the find friends app on our phones and I can check for myself. I'm so glad he suggested it as it's made all our lives a lot easier.

I am at home all day so I cook. Dinner is on the table at 18:30 and if OH doesn't call then his gets plated up and left to go cold.

He is a big boy, if he cba to call then its tough tits! I am not his mother and I refuse to remind him to get in touch

Tell him you will assume you will be just cooking for yourself unless he rings before 4 to let you know he wants a meal

Happens on an almost daily basis here. I just plate up his food and he reheats it. He tries to get home at a reasonable time on a Friday so we can eat together and we eat as a family at the weekends. It has always been thus and it doesn't bother me anymore.

My H hardly ever got home in time to eat with any of us and sometimes to late and tired to eat at all. I think you should have an arranged meal time and if hes there he joins you and if not has his reheated. I feel that you are BU but thats only because of my family dynamics where it wasn't always possible to be in contact.

Does he actually know to tell you? I'm often stuck in meetings that go on and on so I think I'll leave on time and then actually don't - but am in meeting so couldn't tell anyone. Or often about to leave and get dragged into last minute meeting ... not always practical to make a phone call.

I'm with the others. If I'm cooking I will make enough for everyone and if Dh not there he just warms his up.

If I'm late back I expect him to do the same.

We have unpredictable jobs so can often be late.

I got sick of trying to work out when he'd be back.When dd was v small.

Thanks for the comments. Had dinner now and he's bathing ds so all good!
Yes he does know to call, it's an ongoing issue because he never lets me know in time! Some things are fine reheated but I cook a lot of things that just aren't as nice afterwards, and I know I should just say he should lump it but it feels like a waste of what could be nice food!
He wants to eat together which is why I always prepare food for us together. It's just frustrating when if I knew when he be home in advance I could plan accordingly!
Ah well guess its not a big thing in the scheme of things :)